Bald is the new black

For one night only

2006-01-09T22:36:00.000Z

Almost two weeks since my last post and, to be honest, my enthusiasm for the blog is still pretty low. Wel apathetic rather than unenthusiastic. Is there a difference?

I am not exactly sure why. Maybe I am all blogged out or maybe, as Andy Ward has alluded to in his excellent blog, I have just said all I want to say. I know this is not a poker blog but I feel pretty much the same way at the moment.

I know that the time element is a big part of it too. Unfortunately I have difficulty just ‘dipping in’ to the blog every so often, as practised by Andy and the Camel…pre parenthood Keith anyway. The latter obviously, quite rightly, has more important things to do with his time at the moment...although an update on 'Baby Camel' would be nice, perhaps with a picture or two?

Neither do I have the skills and ability to be as snappy and succint as Peter B…although he does write for a living so one would expect this of him.

The trouble with the past few months of blogging, from my perspective, was that, due to my (sad?) obsessive nature it was getting to the point where it was becoming a chore. Similarly the amount of time it was taking was bloody ages. I was coming home from work and it was akin to starting a second job. A little bit like it was in the last 6 months or so of Gutshot when I was often sitting down and doing 50 or 60 ‘Player Profiles’ in one night…without of course all the rest of the shit that Gutshot and its’ management so kindly afforded me though.

I know the answer is to scale things down but this is something I am not particularly good at…you may have noticed 8-)?

I have still not decided what to do in the long term but still cannot see me putting up any more posts in the near future, although I may feel differently in a few weeks…never say never. Well for the time being anyway. I can't even be that bothered to blog about the wonderful events at the Walkers Stadium last night...as funny as it was 8-)

To be honest I haven’t really done much since returning from Ireland, this is not my time of year really. Around this time I tend to hibernate a bit and count the days to the Cheltenham Festival. I was going to be in Pau, in the Pyrenees, this weekend for their biggest (race) meeting of the season but can’t afford it what with Cheltenham at the end of the month, Leopardstown next month, Madrid (if I can get a bloody ticket), and both the Cheltenham and Punchestown Festivals in the next few months…I don’t half have a good life so I can’t complain when I have to miss the odd treat. I am still harbouring hopes of getting over to San Diego in March too for the first ever baseball World Baseball Classic (read World Cup) too. Here’s hoping for a Cheltenham half as good as the one I had last year eh kiddies?

Well that’s it for me…Mark Steel is doing a lecture about Billie Holiday on Radio 7 now. An interesting choice. I have never had Mark down as a Jazz person I have to say.

Stevie B

Oh yeah I almost forgot…Happy New Year to you all. It's only Xmas I hate no problems with New Years though.

Missing in Action

2005-12-28T21:34:00.000Z

As I am sure you would have noticed there have not been too many updates this week blog buddies…although why you have been checking my blog when you should be spending time with your families, visiting relatives and the like, is beyond me. Suffering and being miserable. It’s what Xmas is all about dontcha know.

I am not sure if it is lack of time or lack of enthusiasm really…probably a bit of both if I am totally honest.

I am not sure when I will be putting another up at the moment either. I have started several entries this week but haven’t managed to actually finish any of them. Didn’t have much time and couldn’t be arsed to waste it writing the blog.

I do not know when I will be doing a new entry… a day? A week? Not sure. It will however probably not be until I return to London at the weekend. I am currently in Ireland for the Leopardstown Xmas Festival…and very good it has been too. Hooray for me, that’s what I say 8-)

Oh well that’s it for now. Just a quickie today…story of my sex life that! Oh and they still don’t charge you any less for finishing quicker either 8-(. I wished they charged by the minute though don't you?

Maybe see you when I am back in Blighty?

Stevie B

Bah bloody humbug

2005-12-25T11:24:00.000Z

Where to start today…to be honest it is not exactly my favourite time of year. The ‘I hate Xmas routine’ is not some kind of joke or skit, I really do have an intense dislike for this time of the year. It will all be over after today anyway.

I originally wrote an entry as to why I do not like this time of year but bollocks to that. I am sure you do not want to read the miserable rantings of an old git…again! I decided to spare you that little delight. Call it a Festivus gift.

I am feeling very sore today too. I went to the gym yesterday for the first time since I returned from the States and I think I overdid it…ouch! I really should have gotten my arse in gear sooner I know but just after I returned home I caught a dreadful cold. Not long after I had recovered I ended up with the bloody abscess/extraction/infection in my tooth that laid me up for a couple of weeks. Did I say laid me up? I meant to say crying like a cissy girl! This in turn meant that when I finally did go back to the factory I was so snowed under with work that I was coming home knackered every bloody day. I know, excuses excuses.

I need to sort out my self-discipline and put plans in place in case this scenario happens again. Weighing myself at the gym yesterday revealed I have put on a few kilos since the holiday too. A mixture of laziness and eating a pile of crap…no not literally, yuk…after the tooth problems, when I ‘celebrated’ the fact I could eat again a little 'too much' 8-), contributed to this. The first New Year’s Resolution….naah. Don’t do them. I will have to reassess my dietary and training needs though.

What has been happening since last we spoke? Not an awful lot I have pretty much stayed in the house for the past couple of days, although I am of course looking forward to the post humbug feast of racing…there you go I have found one good thing about Xmas. Two actually because by the time it happens the bloody thing is over. Yaaay.

I did however still find time to get the Carolina / Dallas game spectacularly wrong last night though...yaay bloody yaay eh? Not been the best few days.

Accompanied by Shippy, I went to Wimbledon on Friday and proceeded to have, financially, my worst meeting of the year there. Lovely eh 8-(. To be honest it was just one of those nights. I had a couple of smallish, semi-chasing throwaway bets but in the main I fancied several dogs fairly strongly and for one reason or another it did not happen. In all fairness, with the one exception of a dog that completely missed the start, there were no hard luck stories. Just one of those nights when we got things hopelessly wrong. Although losing is not something I like to do, when it is on dogs I have made decent bets it is acceptable, primarily because, in the long term at the ‘Don I believe we will still have an edge. The annoying nights are when you get involved in races of which you have little opinion. I still could have done without dropping a sizeable amount 5 days before I head over to Ireland for the Xmas Festival at Leopardstown though. Talk about the wrong result at the wrong time. 8-(

I have now sorted the travel plans for this trip. I have decided not to go to Chepstow this year for the Welsh Grand National. I do not fancy the drive to be honest as, my usual companion, and co-driver, to this meeting, Gary, has family commitments and cannot attend. He was also going to drive my car home for me after dropping me at Heathrow in the early evening where I had an Air Fungus flight to Dublin booked. However the long drive to Chepstow (and inevitable long traffic jams just across the bridge) coupled with fact that my flight back is from Stanstead…I made a rick with the times of the return flight from Heathrow 8-(…has led to the decision to give it a miss this year.

As previously explained my hotel in Ireland is closed on the 26th…still can’t believe that one to be honest…so I am flying out on the early morning flight, just after 8, which will enable me to have 3 days racing there. It will also enable me to be able to check in, unpack and sort myself out before racing starts…I may miss the first race on the card but there is no rush. I am looking forward to the break to be honest, as well of course as the quality racing.

Before this though is the King George at Sandown. To be frank it is not exactly the best looking renewal of the race I have seen but the supporting card looks particularly tasty. Two of my ante-post bets for Cheltenham are running tomorrow as well. Racing Demon, of which I have 20 for the Arkle, runs in the Wayward Lad Novices Chase, named of course after the 3 time King George Winner.

Later in the card sees the ‘Feltham’. Darkness, the horse I have backed for the Sun Alliance chase runs in this but is up against Nicky Henderson’s highly touted Crozan and the Graham Wylie owned Bewleys Berry. I backed the latter at Cheltenham last week and it definitely looked like it was crying out for this longer trip. For me this is the race of the day and one I am probably looking forward to more than the ‘big one’ itself.

The other horse I have backed for the Sun Alliance Chase is, the Michael Hourrigan trained, Church Island. I have backed it at 46 on Betfair and think the horse can be a real star…well I would say that wouldn’t I 8-). It runs on Wednesday at Leopardstown in the Ason/Rohon Novices Chase. I am looking forward to seeing the horse in the flesh. I will of course also be backing it to win on the day too.

Back to Sandown and I have had a little bit of 4-1 about Kingscliff in the big one. I am still not sure about Kicking King. I am prepared to accept the excuses about his first run of the season but I thought it weakened very quickly and tamely at Haydock. There is no doubt that if ‘the King’ comes back to is best it is probably a certainty. However I do not think I have seen enough this season to believe that. I would not want to be taking around 6-4 to find out either to be honest. All will be revealed tomorrow.

The last word on the King George, and under the heading of ‘I really should get out more’, the Racing Post web site now has a section where you can watch a selection of old King Georges' Great quality pictures too

Included in this is some excelent footage of 'Himself', the mighty Arkle…fortunately not his final King George, which due to the injury he sustained in it was his final race. It really is a marvellous resource and I certainly enjoyed the trip down memory lane. A must for all fans of ‘proper’ (National Hunt) racing.

I will having my usual Xmas day today by instituting a major tidy of the flat...party central eh?...before having an early night in preparation for the drive to Sandown. This 'no trains on Boxing Day policy' still pisses me off I can tell you. Mind you though even if there had been it is probably only evens they would not have been on strike at the moment anyway 8-).

I have got a, pretty decent, copy of King Kong too so I may watch that. I am not really sure that it is my cup of Camomile though... and three hours? I suppose it depends on just how bored I get really.

Happy Festivus

Great name but he's still 'one of them' if you ask me

2005-12-22T17:20:00.000Z

Johnny Damon eh...the new Sol Campbell? No matter what you think of him (still Red Sox scum in my book) you canot deny that it is a fuck of a good name for a ballplayer. The only other thing you could be with a name like that must be a rock guitarist surely?

There will be some fun in games when he goes back to Beantown this spring, on that you can rely. 'Wouldn't wanna be ya', is I believe the expression

Not sure I want him at the house that Ruth built though. At least the scruffy bastard will have to get a shave and a haircut now....long hair and full beards are not permitted if you play for the New York Yankees blog buddies.

Does George still not know that it's 80% pitching?...apparently not eh. It'll all end in tears. Mark my words.

Defintely the biggest signing of the off season thus far

The trouble is though has he made a serious mistake?

Got a bit emotional last night boys and girls after what was a truly awful and embarrassing performance, sorry about that 8-). I wonder how many of the kids we will see in the team, from here on in, now that the 'Worthless Cup' seems to have taken on a greater 'significance' for Le Boss. Personally I hope he continues his policy of youth. I could not give a toss about winning the competition to be honest.

My problem with last night was not about any result but rather the attitude of some of our kids thinking they were 'Charlie Big Bollocks' ...Quincy Awusu circus act, or whatever your name, is for one. Step-overs alone do not constitute anything (even Ronaldo learnt that) and before you stand around with your hands on your hips giving it large to your team-mates try achieving something in the game first. No wonder Ajax fucked him off.

Also my problem was the complete and utter ineptitude of the likes of Cygan and Gilberto. I doubt if there are Gooners anywhere who do not now know just how bad and embarrassing these two cretins are. I would like to see the policy of playing the youngsters continue though, perhaps put in a few more experienced players in the team to assist them, mix it up a bit. I would like to see Sebastian Larson in the side for one. I actually thought he was very unlucky to be left out last night in the first place given his recent performances in the first team. To be left out for that cunt was even more of a scandal also. There is no way possible that he could have been worse than the 'midfield ball watcher' last night. Forget about the goal he was truly awful. Has there ever been a worse display by an Arsenal captain ever?

Still I won't be going to the semi no matter what. I have decided to wash my hair that night.

I was in court today. Highbury Magistrates Court no less...fuck me I could have had a few words with the 'Maj' about the lovely boys and girls at Gutshot couldn't I?...and believe me I have lots of good words for them, as I'm sure you would all know! A chance missed mayhaps 8-)

I was there as we are prosecuting a parent for her non-school attendance. Although I was rather hoping that we could have got her banged up for Xmas...I'm joking, I'm joking. Enough already...it was actually adjourned. The carer in question told a pack of lies about not having time to get legal advice, although she did and yada yada yada...all back on January 19th.

I sat there for two bloody hours as loads of cases went the same way. I just could not believe how slow, laborious and downright boring theses places are. It doesn't feel you with any confidence in the system. I actually wished I were at work so boring was it.

Oh well I have finished work now until January 3rd so that is something. I have taken tomorrow off. I had some hours owing me so decided to take them tomorrow. No fucker will be in tomorrow anyway...oh shit. If that was the case I could have bunked off and no one would have known. Who would they tell? The Truancy Officer? Another chance missed.

Bah humbug blog buddies

Don't be fooled by the result

2005-12-21T22:50:00.000Z

Well what an absolute disgrace…and you knew that when it happened Cygan, Gilberto and Almunia would all be on the pitch.

I would like to apologise to Doncaster Rovers who deserved better. Much better. An absolute travesty of justice.

I wasn’t going to watch but in a strange way I am glad that I did. I suppose a bit like watching a car crash. You know you shouldn't but you just can't help yourself, as awful as it is.

The fault lies purely and squarely with the manager for tonight’s debacle. There can be no excuse for continually playing some of these players when it is apparent that they are of such a poor standard. Similarly the commitment level is also something to question the manager about.

Pascal Cygan in particular even looks a bad player alongside 3rd division players. I almost felt sorry for him at one point and then realised that I pay that twat's wages and he earns more in a few weeks than I earn in a year.

Bollocks to his goal. Does anyone know exactly how many times our ‘skipper’ (sic) gave the ball away? Absolutely no excuse for such terrible technique. I loved the quote at the end from Ian Snodin, the ‘Donny Pundit’ on Sky. After watching the goal he said he was surprised that Gilberto got there because he had not run 10 yards all night and looked like he couldn’t be bothered. Sorry Ian but that is just how good he is. He is always like that! Now you know what I am on about all the time. He really thought that Gilberto wasn’t ‘at it’ when in truth he was just being himself.

The fact that we had a virtual reserve side is immaterial. The level of commitment from some of our ‘star kids’ was almost as much an insult as seeing that piece of shit Gilberto captaining Arsenal Football Club.

From the moment Doncaster took the lead thanks to the most awful technical error from Almunia and some terrible positional play from Ebboue, it appeared that most of our players decided not to bother.

A great quote from Chris Kamara though…it was the first time I have heard him co commentating and I am amazed at just how bad he was. Even worse than Pleat. I kid you not!... he actually said, and I’m not making this up, that “…it is up to Gilberto to lift his team and be vocal”, yep “vocal”. He is obviously unaware that Gilberto hardly speaks English...well he has only been here for 4 years!!!!! The cunt!

And as for Donnys second goal. A terrible error by Senderos but can someone tell me why the goalkeeper, I know but what else am I supposed to call him, did not come and claim the ball and if not then why did he not stay on is line? Mind you I can answer my own question actually. He is nowhere the standard required and never ever will be.

Still the one good thing is that he is actually good at penalties…thank fuck he is competent at something eh?

Only one person is to blame for this shameful display and it is the manager. He has well and truly lost the plot and I am not sure if and when it is going to end. Very very worrying I can tell you. Be afraid fellow Gooners.

It is ironic that I was writing on here about the York cup-tie a couple of nights ago because the attitude and total lack of commitment tonight was wholly reminiscent of that awful day.

I was thoroughly ashamed to watch that tonight and the way I feel at the moment I am seriously contemplating never watching another game when Cygan is playing for Arsenal ever again. If everyone else did that the manager would HAVE to do something…wouldn’t he? Well, wouldn't he?

I love Arsene Wenger and I am seriously grateful to him but I really cannot continue to put up with such inept players wearing my club’s shirt anymore whilst he, seemingly, buries his head in the sand…sick and tired! Could you imagine the likes of Cygan and Gilberto staying at Old Trafford? Of course you couldn't! When Fergusmoan makes a ‘Djemba Djemba’ or a ‘Kleberson’ he admits his mistake!

And no of course I am not going to the semi final, it is a ludicrous competition that should be optional for clubs to enter. It was not about the trophy or the result but purely about the performance and attitude. Neither were anywhere near good enough.

Don’t let the outcome fool anyone. I am thoroughly ashamed of my team this evening.

Now do you see why I never send Xmas cards!

2005-12-21T17:11:00.000Z

What a tadoo eh blog buddies. Jeez I would hate to be in Moaninho's house on Xmas morning if he doesn't get what he asked for from Santa. Still he can always blame everyone else can't he, he's good at that.

A lot has been spoken and written the past few days, although not that much about the game itself eh, but my favourites comments were both on the wonderful Football 365 letters page. Firstly this

Quiz For Essien...
I notice that Essien has asked for time to adapt to English football. Clearly the game here is very different to that played in other parts of the world. We are rather old-fashioned and require players to tackle the ball, and not opposition players’ knee-caps and teeth. Perhaps his suspension can help his adaptation process; he can take a multiple-choice exam:

Q: You see a Bolton/Liverpool/Arsenal player with the ball. Do you go for:
A) His knee cap or leg area in general, after which you fall over and feign injury in an attempt to divert punishment;
B) Throw out an arm and knock out one of his teeth;
C) The ball;
D) A place on the bench on £20k a week after the evil media has ruined your career with spurious allegations.
Still, as he states, nothing he has "ever done has been deliberate". Which presumably means he will look bemused and humble when he scores.

The answer is of course A B and finally D. Also this from a Liverpool fan

"The worst ones are usually the result of bad luck"? No lad, it was the result of you being an absolute coward, turning your back on an horrendous challenge (please stop using the word tackle when talking about Essien - it's an insult to the art of defending) that was nowhere near the ball.

"I don't agree with re-refereeing a game after it has happened, it just produces more controversy." Just how wrong can one sentence be? If an assault has been missed in the game then it has to be pulled up afterwards, otherwise players could literally get away with murder as long as the ref and his assistants don't see it. What does provide more controversy though, is a guilty player not accepting his punishment on the chin and spouting b***ocks like this two weeks later!

Essien better buck his ideas up or sooner or later he will come against a player who will protect himself by going in to a challenge even higher than Essien does. And if he then breaks his leg? Bad luck lad, it's a man's game.

How's this for an alternative punishment then? I call upon all fans of teams that play Chavski to boo Michael Essien's every touch. If it can happen to Peter Crouch for being tall and selected for England, why not Essien for being a spineless no-mark?"

Finally, and hopefully the last time I will mention the C word...no Christmas kiddies, perrr-lease...this week. The same site today published a new entry of the funniest thing ever to appear on a football site, 'the Gary Neville Diaries' If you have never seen it before check out the old entries too. It really is absolutely brilliant. One of the funniest things on the 'Net

What else has been going on in Baldsville? Most of the news that has reached me this week has, unfortunately, been of the sad variety.

I was disappointed to read about the death of old 'Rooster Booster' yesterday, the 2003 Champion Hurdle winner. It was some kind of haemorrhage apparently so he did not suffer but still a shame. Rooster was a real rags to riches story, from average handicapper to Champion Hurdler, something that tends to happen far more often in jump racing than its' wealthier counterpart. In my mind another one of the millions and trillions of reasons why National Hunt Racing is better that the Flat. Nothing like an objective argument eh...and that was nothing like one? Back to Rooster though, the sport has now lost arguably its' two best loved horses in a couple of months and it really is a shame. On the other hand thems the breaks and the stage is there for new heroes to fill there shoes which will invariably happen. I shall miss the old fellow come Xmas time though when he would have almost certainly have lined up in the Xmas Hurdle on Boxing Day, this year being held at Sandown of course.

Another piece of bad news that reached Baldman Towers came in yesterday's 'Eggs on Toast', which for all American Viewers is the Racing Post 8-)...how mad was that eh? Yer man who wrote the book finding this blog. As I said at the time though if you have not read the book (Horseplayers a Life at the Track by Ted Mclelland) a good read...where was I. ah yes, yesterday's Bible (that is something else we call it). An article tucked away on page 6 stated that Sportspages, the legendary sports bookshop in Caxton Walk, just off Charing Cross Rd, is in administration and in real danger of being closed down. That is terrible news blog buddies. I know the one in Manchester had closed down earlier this year but now this bombshell. Anyway that is Manchester. Things close down all the time there don't they 8-).

I was actually in the shop a few weeks ago, stocking up on several things, and I have to say that I was surprised that they did not have a couple of titles I had seen elsewhere. Now I know why. I have always made a point of trying to buy as many of my sports books there as possible, regardless of the price elsewhere. The reason for this is the same as that when I try to patronise a number of specialist record shops when I can, in preference to the big chain stores. The reason is simple boys and girls. I can sometimes have obscure tastes in both sports books and records. If I was to go to Waterstones or Virgin/HMV to save a couple of pennies, for the relatively mainstream stuff, then what would happen when I wanted that most obscure of titles? I think you know the answer to that. Megastores don't always equal progress and are not always a positive thing. There ARE sometimes more important things than saving a couple of quid.

Anyway, after reading the article yesterday I found out that they have not been buying any new titles for some time, which would explain my recent problem.

I stayed on the 'bus home from work an extra stop yesterday and popped in to speak with them. What the guy in the shop told me was not the most positive thing I have ever heard. It does not look very good. It really is a huge shame but in the days of mail order they may have been left behind and become somewhat obsolete. I mean the rent alone on their current premises must be astronomical. Indeed the original owners and founders of Sportspages have been running their own such business online for some time after having to sell several years ago.

Although I have bought many many books from this shop I think its' biggest contribution to my life was to fuel my baseball obsession. Back in the day...the bald bloke with the young trendy expressions again. What am I like eh...when I first became bitten by the bug that is America's pastime, and long before the world became a smaller place with the Internet etc, the only place to buy baseball books was Sportspages. In fact so good were they that, on many of my trips to the States... I was going at least twice a year every year in those days, primarily to watch baseball... most of the books they were stocking were almost impossible to buy in the 'land of their birth'. Now that was impressive. I know this because I tried to get stuff whilst I was there but I ended up ordering though Sportspages when I got home!

Around this time I was buying, and usually reading, at least one baseball book (sometimes more) every week. I could not get enough of the history stuff, especially New York Baseball 1946-1961 ish...Joe D, Teddy ball game (Bo Sox I know but worthy of a mention), Yogi, the Scooter and of course the M and M boys, The Mick'(y) Mantle and Roger Maris, and of course Jackie Robinson and 'Da Bums' of Brooklyn. If I ever went on Mastermind I always thought it would be my specialist subject lol 8-). It really was a golden age of the sport.

The serious point though is this, without Sportspages I would never have gained my knowledge and love of the great sport of baseball I enjoy (and boy do I ever ENJOY it) today. I would never have read 'the Boys of Summer' one of the greatest books ever written full stop, never mind baseball books, 'Ball Four', the Heart of the Order', The Curse of the Bambino ...and many more. It does seem so sad it is about to be no more.

Similarly, during the 'rise of the fanzine era', post Hillsborough it was my first port of call for books and fanzines from multitude of different teams. I didn't just read the Arse' stuff you know.

Possibly my most lasting memory though was waiting around in the shop on the day that the Sporting News Green Book was about to be delivered. Read Rothmans...ish of baseball. There are of course many such publications but this was always the first that included the rosters, fixtures etc. It used to come out around Spring Training time, early March and was a significant diary point in my year. In those days, pre NASN, C5 etc I used to have one or two games shipped over on video every week. This was of course pre-Internet days (the mid to late 80's) so facts and figures like this were much coveted. It is probably a bit silly to say that I owe a debt to a shop but without them, and of course being lucky enough to have them at the bottom of my street too, my life would have been much poorer. Fact.

Even if someone buys and rescues them, which looks highly unlikely, they will need to reshape the whole company. Perhaps they may need be more mail order focused, a bit like High Stakes? It will be a sad day if and when it goes though. Mind you it probably will not stop me becoming a vulture when the inevitable closing down sale ensues. What can I tell you blog buddies, you know I'm weak already!

I haven't felt this way since City Sounds closed in Procter St. City Sounds was my first stop for most of my soul albums, mainly imports, from my soul boy days. Big fuck off wedge (loads of hair honest), pegs, Hawaii shirt etc etc. They were the days eh? I felt like a million dollars and looked like a right cunt. Capitalism has a lot to answer for sometimes...and yes I do include myself as being culpable in this. RIP Sportspages? I certainly hope not.

I read that, not for the first time this season there were a number of arrests, 9 to be precise, at Giant Stadium in New Jersey at the Jets game on Monday night. There was also a double stabbing. Most of it was thought to be drink related. I wonder when we are going to hear the first rumblings that it was like a 'soccer match'. English disease my arse eh? Hmm

It appears that now my name is not even allowed to be mentioned in the Stalinist world of the Gutshite wesbsite. It was brought to my attention that an incident from one of my home games, from days gone by, has been cited in a story...well his name is on it but given his track record I wouldn't put your house on the fact that he actually wrote it... by the Anti Christ himself. How pathetic is that eh? Not only have the 'powers that be' (sic) made every attempt to erase my existence from their world, save for a few very old stories tucked away, but my name is not even to be mentioned when an incident that is written about actually took place in my house. They get worse don't they eh 8-). "A dark night in Covent Garden". Hey, maybe I don't live here anymore? I hadn't thought of that. The fucking idiot can't even bring himself to even say my name. They can rewrite history on their web site all they want but they can never rub out the truth. Sad doesn't do them justice does it?

Similarly I am not sure he should be revealing details about this incident in the first place too to be honest, even more so considering who the person is and their relationship to the site. He may not have named the person in question but I still think it is pretty bad show to reveal details of what is essentially a private situation anyway. Mind you he has plenty of previous for this doesn't he? I suppose we should be grateful that, unlike when he did it to me, he IS actually telling the whole truth this time.

Well that is it for me today kiddies. I am still at work and, seeing as all the teachers and school based stuff have fucked off for Humbug/Festivus. I am on the easy list this week darlings. Yes Siree Bob.... I wish! I have two big reports to write and I cannot be arsed in any way shape or form. Motivation seems to have gone away for the holidays I am afraid and just when I needed it too 8-(

Fuck it really could be time to get a new job you know

It also looks like I cannot watch Arsenal Reserves at Donny tonight either. I have heard Gilberto has been made captain and find this an insult to every supporter that I will probably watch a film or something. A man who should not be allowed to carry the bibs at training captaining MY team. It's an absolute disgrace I'm sorry.

Don't believe the hype

The Beast

I had that Davey Newth on the back of my sofa once

2005-12-19T19:34:00.000Z

Time was when this country had standards, morals…when it meant something to be British. But now this. Little Rosie Webster and that Craig one…15 year olds… shagging…on ‘The Street’! Ena Sharples must be turning in her grave blog buddies. I always knew the permissive society would come to this you know. I blame the teachers/ parents/ politicians/ television/ youth workers. They’ll be taking drugs and listening to punk rock music next. It’s the tip of the iceberg! Just wait ‘til Sally finds out though that’ll be good 8-)

Well I have seen bits and pieces, and read various articles, of the game and I think my first impressions were pretty much near the mark.

I don't think there is much doubt that the better team won but, alongside that, the question you have to ask is how would the Chequebook Champions have fared going in at half time 1-0 down with 10 men, instead of 1-0 up with a full compliment? But for a totally incompetent decision from the lino and a piece of cowardice from 'Sir Alex's favourite ref’ that is exactly what would (SHOULD) have happened. Even if Essien had gotten away with the main one he still should have gone later in the game. I was flabbergasted, but not surprised I have to say, by the comments from the loathsome piece of excrement that is the Chelski manager that, Arsenal 'targeted' Essien. How fucked up is that? I suppose we did that in the same way that Hamman 'dared' him to go in for a tackle or the Bolton player 'taunted' him by trying to win the ball. Surely if you had a player who appears to be above the law surely you would want to keep quiet about it? I would like to say that he cannot keep getting away with such thuggery but, unfortunately, all evidence to date would seem to contradict that. At least EUFA finally had the balls to do something. It would have been interesting to see if they still would have done had 'Madder than Mad Jack McMad' himself, Sepp Blatter not put his oar in though?

Oh, and my first instincts about the Chelski goal seem to be correct. Robben is just so fast he can give the impression that he 'must be offside' when he is not. Henry gets it all the time and, also like Robben, is often called offside when he is not. Not only is Robben fast but he really is some player isn't he? I wonder what would have happened had he kept his word, according to Fergusmoan, and joined Manure?

Having listened to Le Boss he seems to be of a similar opinion to myself on the game. I also suspect he could see himself in hot water for being the latest manager to accuse the absolute buffoon that is Rob Styles of 'bias', although in the case of the perfectly good goal that was squarely the fault of the lino. I think his main argument though is that fact that he clearly shit himself when he should have sent off Chelski's resident thug. I suspect Arsene will have his day of fun at the Prem's HQ. Am I the only one who thinks that Msr Wenger enjoys his visits there? Probably because he finds it amusing how our national game can be run, a term I use very loosely, by such cretins and imbeciles. Well certainly very few of whom have a background in the game either playing or managing.

I went to the Equal Chance club last night, for the first time actually. It was much smaller than I anticipated. Nice enough place though, albeit small. It is actually a pool club that they have incorporated poker into. I went over with Davey and very welcome they made us too. Despite the fact it was mainly locals and regulars, or seemed to be anyway, I did not find the atmosphere in any way unwelcoming. They also raised a tidy sum for Game 4 Life, which was very good of them. Did not charge the charity a penny in ex’s either. A big thank you to the club's owners and all the members.

It was good to see Billy Witcher again too, and equally good to meet Chris, the owner. I wish them well in their venture. I am sure I will return there again soon.

I left early, being the lightweight that I am, but Davey followed me on. Not only did I let him stay at Chez Baldman but I even charged him a special rate…what can I tell you blog buddies, it’s Festivus. The lazy bastard even went back to sleep when I left for work too. God I hate that. If I am up why should anyone else get to sleep. Bastards! I really should have set all the alarms in the house to go off at 15-minute intervals just after I left one at a time 8-). Bollocks! Why is it that you always think of the best ones too late to put them into practice? Still, in the vault for next time eh?

Have to go, Coronation Street is on now. Nothing like a bit of moral indignation is there?

How to make a miserable bastard even more miserable

2005-12-18T19:29:00.000Z

Just back from the game and a quick entry before I get off to Equal Chance.

Hmm, where to start. Well I thought we were pretty unlucky in the first half.

I have not seen any replays or anything so this was my impressions how I saw it at the game.

We were murdered in the first 10 minutes…settled down…Henry was unlucky with the shot that hit the post…Van Persie scored a perfectly good goal. I thought it was at the game as I was right in line with it and a mate on the phone confirmed this. Deja Vous from the game at Stamford Bridge. When things are going against you eh?

Referee Styles then showed extreme cowardice in allowing Essien to stay on the field for 3 pretty serious offences…does my flippancy and possible paranoia in a recent entry seem so stupid now? It would appear that he really is above the law. Thankfully EUFA have the balls that the Premier League does not have. Astonishing!

I have however heard that in the first incident, which looked like a deliberate elbow, Lauren went down clutching his face despite being elbowed in his chest. If this is the case he is a cheating piece of shit and should be punished. I do not care what colour shirt or badge a player wears I detest cheats…talking of which doesn’t Drogba go down very easily for such a big guy? Fuck he spends more time on the deck than Frank Bruno! I would like to see the video of the Lauren thing though. Regardless of this I am amazed how Essien stayed on the pitch. Patrick must be incredulous sitting in Italy. He never had a fraction of the leniency being shown to the Ghanaian on a seemingly weekly basis.

I thought that their first goal looked like it was possibly offside also, but Robben is so quick I could easily have been wrong. It was however as a result of a centre half, Kolo, playing out of position and, in turn, being out of position. A trifle unfortunate and although I thought there was no way we deserved to be behind at the break, bad luck, cowardly refereeing and a major error (or two?) by the lino contrived to decide otherwise.

Surely it can only be a matter of time before video evidence is introduced. How much longer can FIFA resist? What the fuck are they afraid of? Buggered if I know but I am starting to think that there is no way I will ever 'come back' to football, after my, already agreed, sabbatical next season, (and beyond) until it is.

The second half however was a different kettle of fish. Although we huffed and puffed I felt we rarely threatened and were quite simply not good enough. Although the second goal was, for the second week running as a result of having a right footed player at left back it had become irrelevant by then. Lauren was facing the wrong way and trod on the ball when off balance. A good finish by Cole but had the ‘other Cole’ or Clichy been there one suspects the chance would not even have arisen.

The problems for the Arse seems to be deeper rooted though, and I am not sure if there is a quick fix to it. Le Boss does not have a policy of buying in the transfer window so it looks like we are stuck with what we have.

I was also disappointed with the formation today too. Although we won the FA Cup Final with the same tactics we only did so because we were arsehole lucky. Surely Wenger must have known this? I am becoming increasingly worried he is losing the plot in several areas.

Similarly, the two benches also tell the story. We bring on ‘Quincy Awusu Circus Act’…even Ronaldo learnt that step-overs alone do not get you anywhere… and they have the likes of Sean Wright-Phillips who they do not even want but have bought just to stop him going to another club. It is going to get worse too. They will not think twice about continuing this policy of stockpiling players they do not even want and not think twice about it. After all their owner has a bottomless pit of money from his rape of the assets of the Russian people.

I don’t know what the future holds but the manager must be given money to spend, which despite the noises coming from the boardroom, I am not sure he really has.

It could have been so different in the first half but in the final analysis we were pretty soundly beaten and just not good enough.

Am I the only one who thought Henry was just not at it and, not for the first time, played like a man who is on his way? Part of me says ‘who can blame him’, as it is clear we have made scant, if any, attempts to strengthen the squad to compete with the ‘Cheque Book Champions’, and for that matter even Manure, Liverpool or, to a lesser extent, Tottscum. However another part of me says that ‘my captain’ should show me more commitment and umph than I saw today. Perhaps we have become so used to his heroics that too much is expected of him, who knows? I did think he was poor today though and I become increasingly pessimistic that he will be here next season with each passing game 8-( . I would criticise other players for playing poorly so why not Titi. I am used to skippers like TA and Patrick so maybe I am being harsh. I was not happy with him today, although he was far from the only one he is the one you look to as a talisman.

A disappointing end to a really shitty weekend blog buddies. Still it’s fucking Xmas in 7 days so next weekend will be worse…would any of you like me to visit your children dressed as Santa this week?

A miserable fucker who gets even more miserable eh?

All good things must come to an end

2005-12-17T21:32:00.000Z

Although it might not seem like it if you read this opinionated, bigoted, torrent of shite on a regular basis there are times when I do not want to right. Today that was never truer.

I am afraid that Wycombe’s 21 match unbeaten run came to an end today. And how so? In the way I have been worried about on this blog for some time, and in a number of blog entries. By throwing away a game they dominated and, most notably, giving away 2 late goals in the process. The two ‘crimes’ the Chairboys have been guilty of on more occasions than they should have been this season. Aaaaagh! Disturbing to say the least

Leading 1-0 until the 87th minute they ended up losing to a 93rd minute winner from the last kick of a game! They had to lose sooner or later but the real worry is that it appears to have been self inflicted.

It has happened now and the most important thing is how the team reacts. Now Gormanscum’s true worth as a manager can really be measured. Watch this space, as I am so fond of saying.

The BBC actually did a feature on ‘unbeaten Wycombe’ today and how wonderful the chemistry and team spirit is. What a fucking bok eh!

Grimsby, the team currently in second place, did not play today as their game in ‘Camel Country’ against ‘Darlo’ was called off because of bad weather. Therefore Wycombe still have a 4-point lead at the top, albeit having played a game more than Grimsby. I am still glad I have had a saver on the Mariners though.

Elsewhere Brentford moved into second with another away win, 4-1 at a continually struggling Tranmere, to extend their unbeaten streak to 9. Huddersfield however missed the opportunity to make up ground, well more than a point anyway, on leaders Swansea, by only managing a home draw with Southend. The leaders lost today.

I did stumble across a piece on Soccer Saturday on Sky, still the best footie show on TV bar none, this afternoon about the legend that is David ‘Rocky’ Rocastle. It was a prelude to Highbury tomorrow where the charity formed in David’s honour is having a high profile drive. It was a beautifully put together piece and, I have to admit, rather sad at times too. Wrighty in particular ‘lost it’ when talking about his former teammate. He and Rocky grew up on the same housing estate and knew each other all of their lives. I hope they show it again, as I would love to tape it to be honest…and yes I did shed a small tear for a true Gooner. It is a well known fact that Rocky himself openly wept the day he left THOF, something that was reiterated in the piece. A lovely little montage of a wonderful player and an even more wonderful man.

Personally, I have two abiding memories of Rocky. One was in the, then, Crest Hotel at Wembley during the 1993 FA Cup Final (1st game) when he watched the game on the TV in the hotel bar. I was also forced to do the same after the tickets that had been sold to us, as part of a corporate package, had turned out to be forgeries…there’s a story for another time. Anyway, being in his company, as it were, the passion he was showing throughout the game was so evident. I think he was at Leeds at this time, although he may have been at Chelsea, but for that day he was no different to any fan and he was clearly ‘kicking every ball’ from the bar. It was so evident that, no matter who was paying his wages, he was always a Gooner and wherever he may be now, always will be. Oh and incidentally a more warm modest and accomodating man you could never wish to meet. Answering every question put to him replying to every comment, (no matter how stupid...and that was just from me) signing everything put in front of him, and all done with the sort of humility that had people thinking that they were doing Rocky a favour by asking him. A bit like many of today's player only nothing like them!

My second most prevalent memory of him was a strange one actually. It was on a very dark day for the Arse. It was at York in the FA Cup…yeah THAT one. A freezing cold day and a bunch of fucking prima donnas who cared more about not getting injured on the frozen pitch (Charlie Nicholas), not being injured for England duty (Sansom, Woodcock. Mariner, Rix) and just not being cold, the rest of the very sorry bunch! However, in racing parlance Rocky was the only ‘trier’ on the pitch that day for God's Team…and how! He gave every drop of everything he possessed on a dark afternoon for his team and, if ever I felt genuinely sorry for a player it was Rocky on that day. I shudder to think what his feelings must have been in the dressing room to a number of his teammates who so clearly disgraced the name of the club that afternoon. I do remember a bunch of Arsenal fans, quite rightly in my opinion, booing our players as they left the pitch after a shameful display. However the moment Rocky came past them they burst into spontaneous applause and clamoured to slap his back and pat him. The ground was that small yes. However as soon as Rocky had disappeared down the tunnel then they no sooner reverted to their jeering and catcalls at the other Arsenal players. That is what Rocky was, a fan who was talented enough to play for HIS team. You could also say he was ‘lucky’ enough too. I say this because you always got the impression that was what he believed himself.

I have a framed picture of Rocky in the flat and he will always remain an Arsenal legend and, I am not ashamed to admit, a personal hero…oh and I didn’t even mention a certain night at Shite Hart Lane in 1987 either. I wonder if the Sperz fans ever got the cup final tickets the stadium announcer was talking about at half time…hmmm?

Oh well that’s it for me today. Not sure if I am looking forward to the game tomorrow or not. Even if we win we have no chance of winning the Prem. Very strange, and not something we have been used to in recent years either. Let’s hope that Cygan is still injured. If he is then we will still have a pretty good chance in the game. If he is fit, surely a contradiction in terms, I will be the first one on the early bus home I suspect.

Hope to see you all at Equal Chance tomorrow. If I can finally get the name right the least you can do is come up and play 8-)

See ya

Stevie B

What a draw eh?

2005-12-16T20:07:00.000Z

Well what a draw eh? Franco’s team the original ‘forces of darkness’ from way back when. Also the original bottomless pit of money side that doesn’t have to balance the books…although the comparisons with Wimble-Chelski end there obviously…fan base, wonderful stadium, a history and class, being 4 of the reasons why this is the case.

Although I have pretty much stopped going to away games I am definitely up for this one. To see the Arse in the Bernabeu is pretty sexy I have to say.

I will not be able to get much time off work so it will have to be a day trip. This also means that I may have to break the habit of a lifetime and go with one of the ‘official’ club trips. Roll on February.

As for the other ties, what a classic encounter between Wimble-Chelski and Barca. I see it as reminiscent of Brazil V West Germany games from days gone by with Barca being the exponents of the wonderful free flowing football against the functional, well organised efficiency of their opponents. Fascinating stuff.

With the exception of the Chelski fans, both proper ones and Johnny come latelys, the whole world will of course be behind Barca. I think the main reason for this will be that, although you have to greatly respect and admire the ruthless efficiency of the Cheque Book Champions, Barca play the kind of football that excites and cause you to fall in love with them. On ‘Ruudy Dil’s ‘sexy football scale’ they are simply pornographic, hard-core stuff too. I have certainly made a point of trying to watch them whenever they have been on Sky the past few years…they will miss Xavi though, out for most of the season now, that is for sure. I am not sure the way the games are being staged at the moment but I really hope they are on different days to the Arse/Real tie.

I also suspect that the arrogance that saw the Catalans fall 2-0 behind at Stamford Bridge last season, before dominating the tie and ultimately losing to a dodgy set piece goal...alright illegal, will not be in evidence this year. This season they will be far more respectful. You would have to fancy the winner of this tie to be a strong fancy to go on and win it though wouldn’t you?

I am looking forward to ‘Ronnie’ having another crack at the famed Chelski rearguard again though. Bad teeth, and an even worse haircut but what an absolutely fantastic player. A total joy to watch. He may not have deserved the World Player of the Year award last season, receiving it courtesy of the total bollocks that are FIFA politics, but there can be no doubt he is head and shoulders above the rest now. You talk about players who can make you want to do a sex wee…!

I saw an excellent film last night blog buddies. It was called ‘LUCK’ and was a Canadian film about a young guy’s gambling exploits after he thinks he has been rejected by the love of his life. Although the film was made in 2003, it was set against a major hockey series with the Soviet Union in the 80’s, I don't know if this hockey series really happened or not as hockey is not one of my sports to be honest. Made for a good backdrop to the movie though.

What it did do was to portray gambling the way it often really is. It actually showed someone doing their pieces, then chasing like a madman and getting in deeper. I won’t spoil it for you should you wish to watch it (makes a change eh?) but I found it a really enjoyable film, albeit a touch painful at times…in a 'there but for the grace of God', and a slightly autobiographical, kind of way. There was nothing romantic about it and it was quite stark. I am certain that the writer must have been there and done it, as the expression goes.

I will share two wonderful moments from the movie though, the first was an excellent quote, which went “If you like sex better than gambling them you’re not gambling right”

Secondly, after the main character had been to a GA meeting, he came to the conclusion that Gamblers Anonymous is not full of gamblers per se as there did not appear to be any winning ones there. Subsequently GA is only actually for ‘losing gamblers’ a very poignant observation 8-).

More details here if you want them

I actually picked it up from my DVD man for a £1…yep my ‘pirate’ DVD man has a sale on at the moment...and it’s not even January yet! What next a loyalty card 8-)? He had a bunch of DVD’s that were left over from days gone and was punting them out cheaply. He has now run out but I have ordered half dozen copies of said film for the ‘inner circle’ of Baldsville, Corporal Ship, Wimbledon Jon, Degenerate George etc. Well worth watching though if you get the opportunity.

What else is happening…oh yeah. I picked up a pair of free specs today, about £250’s worth too. Let me explain. I bought a pair of glasses just over a year ago which had a diamante effect with a couple of very small glass stones in the frames. Not exactly the Elton John look but pretty funky nonetheless. Anyways, time has not been kind to them and a couple of the stones have fallen out along the way. I decided to take them back to ‘Spex in the City’ the shop where I bought them. Despite the name (sic) I buy a number of my frames there. I was hoping to have the stones replaced, which I thought would be pretty easy to do. I left them and was contacted by the shops’ proprietor, Gillian, a week or so later who informed me that she had ‘got my new frames’…aaah. Fuck, I thought. Have we got our wires crossed, remembering of course how much they had cost me in t’first place? I needn’t have worried as it transpired that ‘they’, and I am still not sure if that was down to the manufacturers or the shop, had replaced the frames for no charge. Yaay. Result!

However it actually got better. I was told they were ready last week so I sullied forth to the vendor of fine spectacles to reclaim my visual aids. However, just before being handed the ‘specs’ the owner of the shop decided to clean them for me. Whilst doing this her hand slipped and she somehow managed to crack one of the lenses. Long story short (about time I hear you cry)…new frames, new lenses, no money…whey hey eh? A nice Festivus present eh?…I’m with Pete Birks and the rest of the ‘Seinfeldites’ on that one. ‘Serenity now’, as the creator of this wonderful holiday would be heard to say. Anyone know where I can get hold of a pole?

Luck does move in mysterious ways sometimes doesn’t it?

Please God may Cygan still be injured for Sunday…shame Gilberto is suspended though eh 8-). At least his scandalous sending off last week has one silver lining.

Don’t forget the Game 4 Life event at Equal Chance on Sunday…yeah I know, ‘Equal’ chance. Yes I did write the wrong bloody name last time. Thanks to the Truth for pointing out that I am indeed a cunt. Doh! I really am going senile you know. At least I got the address and phone number correct anyway. That’s Sunday night at 8.30. Be there or…err…be somewhere else.

Night night kiddies

Stevie B

PS…and to the people who have asked me, of course the post on the Gutshot forum from ‘a Stevie B’ has nothing to do with me. It would seem to be just another one of the scumbags, who frequent this sewer of a forum obviously making ‘mischief’ again. If they have some kind of point to make, or axe to grind with Gutshot, I really wish they would leave me the fuck out of it.

All wrapped up for Xmas

2005-12-15T19:37:00.000Z

It has now been decided that the dogs will not be coming over from Ireland before the New Year now.

Ironically most of the litter are over now, save for 3, 2 of which are ‘mine’, or at least partly mine anyway 8-)

The problem is that Mark Wallis’s kennel; the new home for our canine heroes…well soon to be heroes. Faith blog buddies. Faith…has the cough at the moment. Half of the dogs are ok but the first 2 dogs to come over from our litter have caught it.

Subsequently, all things considered, they will continue schooling in Cashel, have a few ‘informal’ trials on the track, probably at Cork, and come over about the second week of the New Year.

It is not the worst thing as there is no rush with the puppies and, if the threatened cold spell materialises, we would not want them to begin running if it is really bad anyway. They are only babies so it is not usually good for them to have any bad experiences, such as illnesses, really bad weather etc, so early in their careers. For pyschological reasons as much as anything else.

An unintentional bonus of this however is that the fees in Ireland are about half of those charged by Mark. Well he is the champion trainer elect dontcha know!

To quote from the television advert I am afraid that…”they’re not ready yet”.

Mind you rational thought and reasoned argument is one thing but I am still feeling really bloody impatient though grr. I hate patience anyway. It takes too bloody long doesn't it?

A measure of how boring and pointless my life has become can be measured by the fact that I spent a lot of time last night wrapping bloody Xmas presents…Aaaagh. My only concession to Xmas, well Xmas presents actually, is to buy them for a number of children and young relatives. I don’t mind being a miserable cunt with friends but it is very difficult, if indeed I want to, adopt the same line with kids. Now ASBOing the little fuckers that’s a different matter entirely 8-). Bollocks, why didn't I think of that earlier? Shit! Looks like I have found my gift idea for next Christmas though...'On the first day of Christmas my Probation Officer gave to me'... Five go-o-ld handcuffs, four court appearances, three nightly curfews, two ASBOS for your children, and an electronic tag for their knees. The little bastards!

The trouble is that, when it comes to anything to do with my hands or making stuff, drawing, DIY, and shit like that, I am totally fucking useless. Creative stuff, writing maths anything involving brainwork then I am fine. Oh well, horses for courses/each to their own/it takes all sorts yada yada yada…and lots of other boring clichés, which we could talk in ‘til the cows come home'. Err sorry. There really was no need for that was there…I’ll get my coat

It took me bloody ages last night to wrap about a dozen presents and it still looked like it had taken me seconds…and it looked like I had sunk about 15 pints of larger whilst I was doing it too. Doh, eh? Not my forte wrapping up pressies I am afraid.

At least that is that for around 365 days though, and it also ends my total contribution to Xmas. Thank fuck for that. I can now go back to being a miserable twat until the poxy thing is all finished.

Before I go though I have one question. Is it just me or is there a nasty hint of religion creeping into Xmas these days? Most disconcerting if you ask me. What happened to the commercial Christmas of yesteryear?

Bah bloody humbug

San Diego in March?

2005-12-14T21:32:00.000Z

A good day to all the little boys and girls in blogsville.

I spoke to my friend Clive today, he who is the European Director of Major League Baseball International and ‘blagger extraordinaire’…in fact he is actually my ligging hero. There I said it. He has more sporting contacts than anyone I know.

He told me that he is off to Japan in the early hours of the morning for the World Club Championship…have I ever told you that Clive is a Liverpool fan? Born in Oxford, grew up in Minneapolis, went to college in Waco, Texas, his parents now live just outside Philadelphia and he now resides in Muswell Hill…I know, I know the stereotypical identikit of a Merchandise United fan but still he supports Liverpool. Amazing eh?

Sorry blog buddies back… to the Japanese ‘outing’. He has first class plane tickets courtesy of his air miles, a 5 star hotel down to his ‘points’, free tickets from FIFA and all his taxes and ex’s paid by the person he has acquired the same freebies for. What a geezer eh? A VIP trip to Japan and it has not cost him a penny.

Anyway, whilst talking with Clive we got on to the subject of the inaugural Baseball World Classic (read 1st baseball world cup). It has actually modelled itself on the Football (socca my arse) World Cup with 16 teams taking part in 4 groups of 4.

It is all quite exciting, and a long time coming to be honest, given the now global nature of 'America's Pastime'.

It is also hoped that it will take place regularly, I think every 2 or 3 years, not exactly sure of how often. It really is a great idea though.

The teams are going to be playing thus, with each team playing each other once in their group with the top two teams advancing.

Group A (to be played in Tokyo)
China
Korea
Chinese Taipei
Japan

Group B (to be played in Phoenix, Arizona)
Canada
Mexico
South Africa
USA

Group C (to be played in San Juan, Puerto Rico)
Cuba
Netherlands
Panama
Puerto Rico

Group D (to be played in Orlando, Florida)
Australia
Italy
Venezuela
Dominican Republic

The quarter finals are going to be split between Anaheim, California and San Juan Puerto Rico, with the semis and final in San Diego. It runs from March 3rd through the 20th and it is San Diego that I am interested in. Clive has already told me that tickets are not a problem so I am seriously considering it. I will need to do some sums, check with work and, of course, fly straight from Cheltenham but it is of more of a little interest for your humbald narrator I have to admit.

I have to say though I was most surprised to see Nicaragua and Brazil absent from the line up. I am not sure if they declined or was just not invited. I will try to find out.

Whatever happens however you know that the baseball authorities will learn from it and it will get better and better in future events. You can bet on that.

On the subject of betting, my money is on the Dominican team, with Japan as the dark horses. I think you can lay the USA, and hopefully the bookmakers in this country will make them a short price out of some historical ignorance. We can but hope. Maybe I am just wishing.

Not only do I think they are probably not good enough to win it I also think they will not take it as seriously as other countries and treat it as some kind of exhibition. This will not be so amongst the other teams, particularly those from Latin America where baseball is a religion all of its’ own, and no mistake.

For further details have a look at this

Still something to look forward to anyway. San Diego in March sounds good to me even without baseball 8-). Although it has been over 15 years since I was last there I still remember it as a wonderful city.

Oooh, I almost forgot. This Sunday in the heart of Chavsville, that’s Walthamstow E17 to yews, at the Equal Chance Club they are hosting a day where all the proceeds are going to, the best thing to happen to Poker for many years, the Game 4 Life Charity.

There is going to be a £20 re-buy no limit tournament starting at 8.30 PM with £2000 guaranteed.

As well as the comp, legendary pool player, Maltese Joe is going to be playing challenge matches with all the proceeds going to the charity.

The magician ‘Dynamo’ is also going to be there doing magic tricks…well what the fuck do you expect him to do. I’ve just told you he is a magician. I don’t know exactly what he does but I think it definitely involves cards. There is no way I am playing on his table anyway. Still I reckon I have probably played with worse in the past...no names though, mainly because I can't afford a good lawyer...but I am sure you can use your imagination where that one is concerned 8-)

I shall be there, along with the ‘Fourth best thing to come out of Newcastle’, the A1 and GNER being the first two, with of course Angie being the third, Davey ‘the Truth’ Newth. I shall in fact be having the Truthster on my sofa Sunday night as well…no nothing like that; please…he is just staying the night at Baldman Towers. You should be ashamed of yourselves thinking things like that tsk tsk. Oh well there goes the neighbourhood eh?

If you would like any more info on the Equal Chance Club, or the tournament, then they are situated at 74-76 James St, Walthamstow, E17 7PE Tel no 020 8521 2121.

If you decide to go please feel free to come over and doff your cap or ask for an autograph. After all the worst that can happen is that I tell you to fuck off. 8-)

Almost forgot too, if you are going there for the first time you will need to take 2 forms of ID. A driving license or Passport plus a recent utility bill.

Hope to see you there kiddies…although I doubt they will let many of you in to the VIP section. If you look sufficiently poor we will throw out some food though. Well it is for charity isn’t it?

...And a Chavvy New Year

2005-12-12T20:08:00.000Z

Just a little something that was sent to me today by a friend...or ole' china plate as I should perhaps refer to him as 8-)

There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?) She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.

One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'

Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.

Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an'that.

She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'

Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that.

They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that.

But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.

Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End.

Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?'

It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer.

He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees.

You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'

Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'

So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that.

Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.

APPY CRIMBO...

(bar 'umbug if you ask me blog buddies!)

Not as long a torrent of shite as yesterday's torrent of shite

2005-12-12T18:38:00.000Z

Ended up having a nice lazy day yesterday...well aside from the rather long blog entry anyway 8-)

I stayed in, watched a few DVD's and did not leave the house. I was not even aware of the crazy fire/explosion in Hertfordshire until this morning. How mad was that? I am sure they will find someone pretty low down the 'food chain' to scapegoat when the time comes though don't you think? It's what they normally do isn't it?

What did I do yesterday...well I watched the Sports Personality of the Year award. Freddie was a surprise eh. Not. I do like my sports stars with balls though...figuratively speaking you understand, not advocating going back to the GDR women's Track Team or anything like that. Good to see that they have started giving the award to someone who has a personality too, given the period where some of the (boring) 'winners' numbered the likes of Steve Davis, Nigel Mansell, Damon Hill and Michael Owen...all outstanding competitors in their field but you wouldn't have any of them at the top of the list if you were hosting a party would you? Prompting the statement. "Shouldn't they have a personality first?". I got invited to a party once you know, although it did turn out to be a joke in the end. How 'they' laughed. Unhappy days 8-)

Good to see the little fat bloke from the Viagra advert getting an award too. I like that advert. It's not often I get to feel superior these days. And in case you are wondering. Yes I AM a great lover too... I bet! I could do without the foreplay though to be honest. Negotiating a price, handing over all that money.... so tiresome 8-(

I was pretty stunned that Mourinho was voted coach of the year for finally steering the 'Cheque Book Champions' to the inevitable. On what grounds is he coach of the year? The fact that he inherited almost two teams of top class, and very expensive, players and went out and paid over the odds for a half dozen more? The fact that he also has the highest wage bill in Premiership History bar none? And despite this they still play functional, albeit successful, football.

Rafa Benitez on the other hand did not have anywhere near that kind of money, inherited a number of players he did not want from Houlier, many of them ordinary at best, and won the Champions League, beating Chelsea and AC Milan along the way, both infinitely superior teams. The man has turned Jamie Carragher into a top quality centre half and has even actually made Jimmy Traore look like a footballer. Fuck me. How did he do that? He couldn't do much with Harry Kewell I know but, then again, he's a coach not a fucking miracle worker. Jeez, give him a break. THAT was coaching, of the highest order, and should have been rewarded. What Mourinho did at Porto WAS top coaching and very impressive too it has to be said. Buying everyone in sight, several to stop other clubs from getting them, and having a bottomless pit of money is not. Typical BBC football. Absolutely clueless. Mind you I still wouldn't cross the road to watch either of them play to be honest.

I did have a bit of a scare before the award was presented though. Gary 'as wet as a puddle but not as deep' Lineker, introduced the winner as "the inspiration behind Chelski's Championship success". I don't know about you blog buddies but I had a horrible vision that they might have dug up Boris Yeltsin. What would it have done to Sue's lovely dress, thought I euugh? Well, let's be honest, It is after all his corruption with the oligarchs that produced the money for Abramovich to be able to bastardise the Prem in the first place... weeelll, alright even more. I accept that Murdoch started it. Fortunately I was wrong. No Boris. Phew.

Who'd have thunk it eh. All these years we were fed lies about how the Russians wanted to bomb us, impose their evil will on the British people, destroy our way of life and build lots of nasty nuclear weapons to blow us up when all really wanted to do is fuck up our football. The bastards eh? Last time I let one of the fuckers sleep under my bed I can tell you.

I see Cheltenham Racecourse has been voted Racecourse of the Year for 2005 by the Racegoers Club. It is the 10th time in 13 years they have received this award. I would like to know what the fuck happened in the other 3? It's an affront I tell you. How very dare they. I'm having my ashes scattered in Members at Cheltenham when I finally shed that last lock of hair by the way kiddies. Have I told you that?...not for a fuck of a long time yet though I can tell you. You won't get rid of me that easily.

Oh well, that's it boys and girls. Not as long as yesterday's entry today...will any of them ever be?

I (FINALLY) picked up series 4 and 5 of OZ today...yaaay. They are both 16 episodes to a series now too, so I am sorted for the horrible Humbug period. I have promised a rant about how much I despise Xmas, with a passion (do I do things any other way?) soon and I will oblige (punish?) you with this in the very near future.

Lights off, phone on vibrate. big mug of tea and enough cholesterol to kill a whale. It's Oz time! I can get back to the gym another night can't I?

Warning -Torrent of Shite. Very long

2005-12-11T14:35:00.000Z

You may want to make yourself a flask and a few sandwiches as it’s gonna be a long one today kiddies…as the actress said to the…no never mind.

I started the day with a row…of sorts anyway…with the company formed by former bookmaker William Hill. They are certainly not so anymore that is for sure! I could not believe the price on offer about Fondmort for the Robin Cook Gold Cup in the paper so sullied forth. Unfortunately nor could renowned ‘bookie basher’ Tom Segal who had made it his ‘Pricewise’ selection. Subsequently the entire country was trying to get on. Making the call at around 8.29, they open at 8.30, to assume my place in the queue, I also logged on to the laptop to try to secure the 9-1 there. I wasn’t looking for a lot to be honest but, after accessing the web site, found I was being offered even less!

The online Hills site told me I could have 0 pounds and 0 pence on the race. I thought this must have been some kind of mistake, possibly something they had decided to do to prevent all people from getting on the Pricewise horses (2 of the 3 this morning were best priced with the firm)...and yes, 'bookmakers' DO really do that kind of thing. Eventually my phone call was answered at 9.45…and totally predictably, it had been cut by 33% to ‘half a stretch’ (6-1). I of course advised them to convert their 6-1 into a suppository, err, as you do.

I waited another 15 minutes or so before telephoning the Internet Customer Services to find out why I had been ‘knocked back’ on the 'Net. The ultra polite, but somehow very distant… don’t you find ‘customer service (sic) agents’ always are like that?…indeed informed me that it was not a blanket policy but purely a personal one. I was informed that I am unable to have not one penny on the ‘Net with Hills on any horse or dog race. To put it bluntly, the fuckers have barred me! I know I have had a good year, particularly at Wimbledon, but I am hardly Alex fucking Bird Jeez’! I think they are still upset when we backed 12 winners out of 14, at some pretty fancy prices too 8-), at Wimbledon last spring. It appears that they cannot forgive me for this. Wankers eh? I have had a winning year but not massively so and besides, if I have hit anyone this year it has not been Hills but, more, so Bet £3.65 to be honest, on baseball especially. I did enquire if it would be ok to have a double on the winner of Big Brother and the first race at Portman Park but he laughed and declined to answer. I actually suspect if I wanted a £100 double on the above I would proabably get knocked back on that as well. Bookmakers my arse!

As it turned out Fondmort appeared to be a very unlucky loser but more about this later.

I got to the course early as Jim Lewis was to perform the ‘ashes laying ceremony’ of his beloved Best Mate. However much more poignant than this was the fact that his wife, childhood sweetheart and constant companion Valerie had sadly lost her 6-month battle with cancer just a few days ago. I am as guilty as anyone about over sentimentalising my sporting heroes, equine or human, but this tragic event way transcended any horse, even Bessie. As was expected (not so) 'Lucky Jim' conducted himself with impressive aplomb.

As Alistair Down said in this morning’s Eggs on Toast it shows the measure of the man that he even kept this engagement with far more important things on his mind. There was hardly a dry eye in the house, and the tears were not for a racehorse either. A very sad ceremony.

The day itself? Well. Once again the weather was glorious. I was amazed to discover that that Lingfield had been abandoned due to frost. It was a lovely sunny day here and about 8 or 9 degrees.

The early exchanges with the ‘old enemy’ were not so bright. As if to prove many of the points I made yesterday I got chinned a few times in the early exchanges, and how!

I declined to have a bet in the first where 3 of the first 4 in the (very) early Triumph Hurdle betting were to cross swords. As it turned out it was an excellent race with the ‘big 3’ having the race to themselves and going clear from a long way out, the spoils eventually going to the Nicky Henderson trained Asfoun who turned the tables, albeit being weighted to do so, with his recent conqueror Fair Along. The latter finished third with the pair being split by Paul Nicholls' Turko. The horse I will be taking out of the race though is 3-year old gelding Shannon Springs, a hurdles debutant for Andrew Turnell. Allowed to come around in his own time, by that I mean neglecting to take on the principals who were going at a breakneck pace, and allowed a very good view of his hurdles this 30.000 Guineas purchase out of the Barry Hills stable could definitely be one to follow, as he will come on a lot for the run I reckon. Finishing a fairly tenderly ridden 6th in probably the hottest novice hurdle of the season is no disgrace I reckon. One for the notebook for me.

On to race 2 and my first bet of the day. This was the race to be contested by Robin Cook withdrawal, and one in whom I had made an investment for the race, Made in Japan…bloody Hills didn’t refuse that bet did they grr! I secured a pretty decent price 4.5 and at tapes time it was showing at an SP of 5-2. Well what to tell you? At the top of the hill it was absolutely cruising and going better than anything. I am not sure at what price it was trading on the ‘machine' but I suspect it was less than the ‘bottle and a half’ at race time. However as he jumped the third last he made a fairly untidy blunder, although not a really terrible one in my book. At this point he just appeared to down tools, and maybe sulked? I could be being unfair to him, as he may have just been winded. Similarly he would, ideally, have preferred slightly quicker conditions underfoot than he encountered yesterday, but I cannot help thinking that this horses chasing career has been very disappointing. Especially so given is impressive record as a novice hurdler, just failing to secure the difficult treble of novice grade one novice races at Cheltenham, Aintree and Punchestown, when failing by a rapidly diminishing short head against Cherub in the latter. I remember it well as I was yards away from the finish. I also backed the horse, long-term, for the Triumph last year, at 60 on Betfair, so it owes me nothing anyway.

A disappointing result and it also saw the (early) demise of my Placepot. Even more galling when my original perm had included the eventual winner, Tysou, a quick first two races double for the Henderson / Mick Fitzgerald combination. I believe the mantra here is 'never change your mind' eh?

My first decent bet of the day, of two, was on the Nicky Henderson / Mick Fitzgerald charge…you’re waaaaaay ahead of me aren’t you…The Market Man. Due to a shitload of money for the erstwhile second favourite Moulin Riche the two geldings lined up at the tapes as joint favourites. However I would be lying if I said I did not allow myself a self satisfied grin when the Francois Doumen charge parted company with Robert Thornton at the 4th last when still travelling well. Horse and jockey were both, thankfully, unscathed. We do not celebrate these things otherwise. The Market Man continued to travel well and after jumping the last a couple of lengths clear of the Mighty Man, his closest pursuer, he always looked to be holding his rival as the line approached. I do not know what it was trading at on Betfair but would not be surprised had he done so at the ‘mythical 1.01’. Unfortunately in the last 50 yards the favourite’s stride inexplicably shortened (for a horse that had won over 3 furlongs further last time) and he was chinned on the last stride in a painful (for me anyway!) last gasp defeat, scuppering the hat trick for the boys from Seven Barrows. Aaagh, A further ‘size ten in the testicles’ arising from this defeat is that I had a decent bet on the winner last time on his seasonal reappearance in the Grade 3 handicap won by Lingo at the Mackeson meeting. I actually also felt that he had been given an illjudged and…ahem…less then ‘vigorous ride’ by Master Thomas that day and, subsequently had been accused of talking through my pocket by the reprobates I refer to as friends. Well I could easily say that I am ‘not one of those people who don’t like to say I told you so’ but I’m not so I will. Hah! Told you. Grrr!

What race three lacked in quantity it more than made up for in quality. A 4-runner novice chase with a runner each from the Pipe, Nicholls, Johnson and Jonjo O’Neil yards. The big boys. The race itself did not disappoint either…well it did me...and it was a great spectacle. Another second though. Bollox. Another horse chinned on the run in! Eventually the horse that ‘broke my heart’ was the only one I had confidently put the line…or is not now called the ‘red pen’…through. The langague coming from the members seats were as blue as the lovely sky so beautifully luminating Cleeve Hill. It’s the ‘barrow boy upbringing’ I reckon 8-)

Unlike yesterday I was having a pretty awful time of it today and two lumpy bets had made the transition into the satchels of the ‘real Anti-Christ’, the bookies.

Onto to the big one, the Robin Cook Gold Cup. An incredibly eventful race that Robin himself would have enjoyed and also the race that got most of my money back, thanks to a throwaway saver bet on an extremely lucky winner. The horse in question was Sir OJ. Last night on Betfair it had been a ridiculously priced 32. Because of this I placed a small bet at these odds. When it won (at an SP of 16-1) I was thankful for having done so. How lucky? Well let me tell you blog buddies. Approaching the third last Thisthatandother (a great name for a racehorse eh) was travelling very well in front but Fondmort seemed to be going equally as well if not better, in its’ slipstream with 'our hero' struggling. However the Paul Nicholls runner blundered badly and shipped his pilot. The hapless Fondmort and Mick Fitzgerald had nowhere to and were brought down. This left, Paul Nicholls’ other runner Le Passing in a clear lead as they approached the last two fences, at least 10 lengths by my reckoning. Sir OJ, during all of this, had been struggling to keep up with the leaders in about 7th or 8th place. However after Le Passing had gone clear Paul Carberry managed to get a second run out of Sir OJ and pulled him around the outside of the field. With still 6 lengths to find a good jump at the last kept him in with a slim chance. At this point however the ‘dreaded Cheltenham Hill’ came into play and Le Passing began to wander and slow markedly. Sensing victory Carberry (definitely my favourite jockey over jumps…when he is not drinking…err allegedly) galvanised his mount and drove up the hill to ‘chin’ the desperately unlucky Joe Tizzard in the shadow of the post. Phew eh? Although I had incurred a small loss on the day I had also had a pretty lucky escape thanks to, it has to be said, a very lucky winner. I only wish I had backed it with William Hills 8-).

Just one final word on this race. AP McCoy met with an unfortunate accident on the first bend when his mount, Risk Assessor, slipped and fell. In turn AP, to use the official term ‘smashed a couple of teeth’. The tannoy announcement asking if there was a dentist in the house to tend to the former champion was amusing to say the least but when he appeared a half an hour later to ride in the Bula Hurdle, well, what can you say? Apparently he is visiting the dentist on Sunday morning before flying to Ireland where he is going to ride. And to think some people have two weeks off work, lace themselves with Dihydrocodeine and cry like a cissy girl when they have a tooth out 8-). Fuck those jump jockeys are tough. Wow!

On to the last two races. I had a small each way bet on Intersky Falcon in the Bula. I know that, the eventual winner, Harchibald looked the part but 16-1 each way about a horse that finished 6th in the Champion Hurdle. In the process he was also the best placed English trained runner in the race, and this in a season when his entire stable had a bad virus. In hindsight I could easily have had the forecast, which paid an incredible £26 on the ‘Nanny’ (Tote). I did however secure a small profit on the race so it could have been worse. The Falcon, under a canny ride from Tony ‘ I don’t cry like a bitch when I have a toothache like some people’ McCoy tried to pinch the race by going clear down the hill. However Paul Carberry on the enigmatic (in racing parlance that means ‘dodgepot’ by the way) Harchibald had the move covered to score a comfortable success. Oh well a small profit on the race. A footnote to this was another 5 out of 6 in the ‘pisspot’, although today it would have been a more modest 60p share of £370. Still enough to have covered the weekends ex’s anyway. To be fair I had already done this and showed a slight profit after they had been covered so not too bad anyway.

I stayed for the last, as I wanted to watch the Jonjo O’Neill novice hurdler Black Jack Ketchum in the Brit Insurance Novice Hurdle, as I have backed it at 8-1 for the Sun Alliance Hurdle at the Festival. It won with a minimum of fuss under Tony ‘IDCLABWIAHAT’ McCoy’…well my arms are getting tired and is now a best priced 5-1 for March. One worry however is that the team at Jackdaws Castle may opt to go the route of the three miler at the Festival, for which Cashmans have him in at a carpet (3-1). In sincerely hope not.

Oh, a last word on McCoy. A great quote from him yesterday after his accident was "You forget the pain when you ride winners". The man is an obsessive that even I can look up to!

Leaving Prestbury Park I had planned to do some shopping before stopping off at a pub/restaurant to watch the Arse make the long trek to the frozen norf’, that is St James’ Park.

I stopped off at the big Sainsburys at Witney, which is very close to the A40 turn off, to stock up on lots of yummy dead animals E-numbers and huge amounts of cholesterol. Somewhat topical too given that it is the constituency of new 39 year-old Tory Leader, 39 year-old David Cameron. He is 39 apparently. I stocked up on bald fuel and hotfooted to the Evenlode, a small pub/restaurant just outside Witney on the edge of the village of Eynesham. However, upon my arrival. I was aghast to discover that they did not show Prem football. I had been misinformed. Grrr. I was told that there was a couple of pubs in the village that would be showing it but that neither of these served food…I hadn’t eaten all day and I was starving. I am a growing lad you know. However one sometimes has to make sacrifices...I popped down to the village chippie at half time. Nice it was too.

I found the village pub with about 5 minutes gone in the game. On first perusal it did seem a little bit like a ‘We don’t like strangers ‘round ‘ese parts’ kind of hostelry but these fears were to prove unfounded. I actually ended up sitting with a local Gooner, who actually goes to a lot of the games. A friendly bunch they were, especially the Wycombe fan I met. If I wasn't so scared of seeing my own claret we could have done the 'blood brother' thing...well maybe not, it would have hurt wouldn't it? Us 'Chairboys' eh?

Well what of the game? Hmm. Where to start?

I have to say that, despite the shameful, cowardly and totally inept display from referee (?????) Gallagher, not the first time we have been shafted by this fucking imbecile, we still have ourselves to blame for our defeat. Not for the first time this season we dominated the first half, enjoying the lion’s share of possession and creating a number of clear chances, especially so in the games at West Brom and Middlesbugger this year. It seemed to me that, once again, our forwards were trying to score the perfect goal, at best, and displaying extreme arrogance at worst. No one was more guilty of this I believe than the man himself Titi. I cannot help but wonder why he did not ‘put his foot though’ several of the chances he had, instead of trying to ‘showboat’ it in. Now don’t get me wrong. I know this is ‘Henry’s way’ but I can’t help thinking that he is playing like a man who will not be with us next year. This was a point made by a caller on 606 after the game too…a sensible caller on 606? Fuck me there’s a rarity. Do you think we should have him stuffed?

Now don’t get me wrong. Titi is still the reason for sitting out in the freezing cold for a meaningless game, he is still the best player in the Prem and can do things that often makes you do a 'sex wee'…umm, is it just me? Perhaps I have revealed too much here 8-(…and he will, barring injury, almost certainly be the league’s top scorer again. However, I still think that there is something there that tells me he is on his way. Although it will break my heart, assuming he IS going, as of Patrick, I cannot wish him anything other than good things. It is going to be a wrench if/when he does decide to go, and I really hope he stays but, as I said, I am getting the vibe that he is not as much ‘at THOF’ as once he was, if that makes sense? Or is it just me?

What of the second half? Well there is no doubt that the turning point of the game was the ludicrous Gilberto sending off, despite the fact that there were all sorts going on that were going, and remained, unpunished. Two fouls in one game, the man is a tiger. A typical hometown decision by a cowardly ref it was a huge asset to an already resurgent Newcastle side and changed the whole tactical nature of the contest. Believe it or not Chris Waddle said on Radio 5 that the "sending off had no bearing on the game or result whatsoever". No I am not making it up, honest!!!! Still good to see the former Newcastle and Tottscum wide man having the ability to be objective. So no agendas there then. What a cunt eh? And one more thing, since when was being able to talk properly removed as an obstacle to becoming a BBC commentator? Inarticulate is not the half of it. And I though Garth Crooks was an appalling presenter? Jeez! As pretentious as Crooks is at least you can understand what he is actually saying.

Of course the sending off WAS the pivotal moment of the game and what of it? Well it was extremely harsh for two innocuous fouls, particularly so in light of ‘other’ stuff that was going on. On the plus side it will be one game that even Wenger cannot pick him for…yaaay. There’s the silver lining…although he has said he will appeal. I am not sure he can do that though as it was for two yellow cards? The chances of Dermot Gallagher ever rescinding an Arsenal yellow card is non existent too so I wouldn't get carried away Arsene. Gilberto sent off and banned, Cygan injured...perhaps there really is something to this religion caper after all?

A word too about Shola Amieobi. Do you know that when our midfield ball watcher was sent off he stood and applauded…hang on a minute, let’s put this into some kind of perspective. A mediocre player has been unluckily sent off for a mistimed challenge and he applauds. This wasn’t a Roy Keane leg breaker nor a Michael Essien assault. Whatever your view of Gilberto there is no malice about him at all. Worse luck sometimes to be honest as he is the most timid and lightweight (supposed) Midfield ball winner in the league. Furthermore, unless you are a Gooner, and even then it would only be for his complete ineptitude, it is pretty difficult to hate Gilberto. Anyway why would you? He is a truly appalling player and surely the kind you would want to play against you. I believe the poker venacular in this situation would be YBA. What comes around goes around Shola. You really are a classless piece of filth I have to say. Sometimes people reveal their true colours in strange circumstances.

As said, this WAS the turning point of the game (try doing what you are paid for Chris, objective analysis) and it was always going to be backs to the wall after that. The winning goal itself, although well executed, was as a direct result of our left back injury crisis. Lauren, not being naturally left sided in any way, was completely sucked into the middle leaving Solano with a free shot he never would or should have had, albeit after we had failed to clear a couple of routine crosses. Bad luck really, although it did look like it had been coming for a while to be truthful. Newcastle had certainly come out for the 2nd half with the proverbial 'fire in their bellies' and may have carved out a result anyway. Thanks to Mr Gallagher he ENSURED it.

The last word however has to go to Shearer and how he is seemingly allowed carte blanche to transgress the laws of the game at will. It is a shame that one of the finest players the Premiership has ever seen, and almost certainly the best ‘traditional number 9’ in that period, chooses to conduct himself in such a manner with regards the ‘murkier’ side of his game. As such he will never have the level of respect his talents deserve from opposition supporters. Shame really. Although more shame on a number of referees. Obviously the most blatant example of this was the Neil Lennon incident a few years ago. Apparently when OJ Simpson saw this incident, and heard that Shearer had gotten off scot free, he said ‘You must be joking’…well maybe not but you know where I am coming from. Again yesterday he was allowed by Gallagher to commit as many fouls as he saw fit, including a particularly nasty challenge, with far more malice than ‘waste of space’s’ two tackles put together. Maybe his conscience is clear…then again? Not a good way for one of the all time greats to behave though. It does him little credit. Just imagine what he would had gotten away with if he HAD gone to Old Trafford though. It doesn’t bear thinking about does it?

We really need to learn to turn our dominance into goals though. Once we have done this, then dodgy sendings off will just be a minor inconvenience, and similarly, late goals just an equal inconvenience. Instead they are currently becoming defeats to poor and mediocre teams such as West Brom, Middlsbugger and the Toon. The manager cannot continue to bury his head in the sand and has to address it.

Elsewhere on the football front it was mixed news for the bald blogster.

Wycombe scored a comfortable victory 3-0 at home and, with their two closest rivals both losing, moved 4 points clear. I know it is greedy but if only they had turned some of those draws into wins, in games they totally controlled, earlier in the season they could have been out of sight by now. Bidding to go the whole season unbeaten (probably unrealistic) is perhaps not the only thing they have in common with the Arse’ methinks! They are now a best priced 6-4 for League Two and a good Xmas period could put ‘us’ ('us', d’ya like that?) over the top. Tommy Mooney bagged a brace too. I have still not given up on my each way bet for him to be the division’s top scorer. He is playing for the league’s best team after all and Nathan Tyson is now a Notts Forest player. I still hope that a keeper and a centre half is on Gormanscum's list for Santa though. If he makes the right moves it could make the spring a very bright one for Wanderers.

In League One things were not so good. Huddersfield lost away at Bristol City but, fortunately leaders Swansea were held to a home draw by in form Colchester so did not give up much ground. Brentford on the other hand dropped yet more home points. They did however come from behind to snatch a point and extend their uneaten sequence to 7.

The big two in the Championship both continued to roll along. Reading still hold the edge but have a series of very difficult away games to contend with, the first at Wolverhampton in a couple of weeks time and, the most notable, on February 14th when they travel to Sheffield United. Whatever they do though you can’t help but be impressed with what Steve Coppell has done. He really is an outstanding manager…doing it with 3 ex Arsenal trainees too. Well I had to get that in didn’t I 8-).

Finally Paddy Power sent me a diary yesterday. The same Paddy Power that has limited all my online bets to 40 Euros on EVERYTHING and a pony on any dog bet on the…err…’dog’ 8-). How’s about this Paddy. Stop sending me diaries, and your stupid fucking quarterly magazine and allow me to have a decent bet at Wimbledon! Or are you Hills in disguise?

Don't do as I do. Do as I say

2005-12-09T21:45:00.000Z

I actually had a winning day at Cheltenham and yet still ended up gutted.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to write this blog entry for fear of looking like a whingeing greedy bastard. Mind you it has never bothered me in the past now has it?

I had one of those days today when I got everything right but did everything wrong.

I got out of the house ok, on time, and I didn’t even leave my wallet at home this time either 8-)

I was worried about the thick fog that accompanied me for most of my journey…a real pea souper guv and no mistake no never it weren’t…fucked if I know what that actually means either...pretty bad it was too, so much so that I was a bit worried about the racing.

I needn’t have worried, as once I was past Witney, just the other side of Oxford; the sun was out over the Cotswolds to leave a beautiful crisp, sunny winter’s day. This really is a very beautiful part of the world when the sun is shining.

What about the racing? Well I actually ‘got away with one’ in the first. I had fancied the favourite but had ‘my price’ at which I was prepared to back it. I had been liasing with ‘the Bethnal Green Branch’ en route to acquire such price. However it did not reach what I was after, and I was quietly pleased to see it beaten, although not so much when it was passed for second spot half way up the run in as I have ‘bankered’ it in my Placepot…I know, I know, bankering a horse in a 7 runner race. Not good Placepot etiquette. This was to haunt me later on.

On to the second race. Just like the first I had wanted to be with the favourite, and just like the first race I did not follow my ‘fancy’. However this abstention, unlike the first race, had little to do with ‘doing the right thing’. On the contrary it actually went to a price above what I had told Shippy I was prepared to take earlier in the day. I did something I rarely do, that being, listening to the gossip and bad vibes about it. I kept my money in my pocket and it won…grr. I really should know better. I was annoyed with myself. An expensive lesson learnt…again! I had bankered it in my, now defunct, Placepot as well

In race three I had narrowed it down to two runners and backed them both. Top weight and Grand National 4th, Royal Auclair and recent Festival winner Liberthine. In the end the former won but only after the latter had fallen two out when looking all over the winner. In fact I had included three runners in my Placepot, I had left out Liberthine, and they filled the first three places at the respective odds of 13-2, 7 and 8! I could easily have selected the first four home in very competitive handicap. Thanks to Shippy, who I drove mad all day on account of the fact that it has been nigh on impossible to get a decent enough reception for my bluetooth PC connection in the Cheltenham car park, as has been the case for the last few meetings here, I managed to get 8.6 about the winner. It was my original selection in the morning and, although I was slightly miffed at having ‘split’ my profit it put me in the black for the day…always a nice place to be 8-).

Race four was the Cross-Country race, always a wonderful spectacle. As is usually the case in these races several horses were backed on their reputations in ‘regular’ chases, madness if you ask me. I always find this hard to understand as this course is such a specialist one for the horses and, as such, you should only look at those with form relating to this particular genre. I was very interested in an ex-French gelding owned and trained by Ferdy Murphy called Ivoire De Beaulieu. I had a place bet, at 4.8, and a very small win bet, at 28. Homing my bins on said beast during the race I was so impressed by its’ jumping, particularly at the banks, and the way it travelled that I picked up the phone to call Shippy to get some more on in running…that was until I chickened out and decided not to bother. I even had the bloody phone in my hand…aaagh. It went on to win, at 16-1. Added to that the horse I almost backed earlier in the day and had included in my Placepot, Shady Lad, finished second at 20-1. In fact following the system of only backing horses with cross country form, the winner had won several such races in France, the second had won a 4 ¼ mile banks race at the Punchestown Festival last year and the third Good Step won the ‘La Touche’ at the same meeting. What a tricast that would have been. Still the first and second at 16 and 20 out of three selections is pretty impressive.

The runners for the fifth race on the card included one I had fancied quite strongly upon my first perusal of the runners last night, Philip Hobbs’ promising novice hurdler Motorway. As 4-year-old it which was getting all the allowances in this all age handicap. Unfortunately the third favourite, to whom I had given no chance and whose participation I had been happy about for ‘making the price’ on my selection, had been withdrawn. This had facilitated a situation making Motorway below the price I was prepared to take…you know the rest I am sure. I had actually bankered it in my Placepot too. Shit home it did too. 8-(

In race 6, the Pertemps Hurdle qualifier over 3 miles I had narrowed the field of 20 down to 2 runners. The Charlie Swan trained Oodachee and Attorney General trained by Jim Old. Once again thanks to the Bald-Ship Hotline I managed to secure some fancy prices on the Magic Machine. 6.2 about the former (SP was 4-1) and 18 about the latter (SP 9-1). I also backed this horse for a place. Well the result was that the latter won and the former was third in a close three-way finish.

It had meant that in my Placepot I had had 5 winners at 13-8, 13-2, 16-1, 2-1 and 9-1 and had only won a minimal amount of money. Such was my consistency on the day I would have had £7.20 worth of the ‘Pot had the first leg not been chinned close home. It paid over £1700 for a pound. Now given the horse that let me down was an odds on jolly there is no way it would have paid anything like that had it held on. However, given the other results, it is safe to assume that it would have paid at least a monkey…times 7.2! Aaagh.

Now I am sure some of you will be saying “ What a greedy bastard” but my point is that I will probably never get another day like this for years, especially at Cheltenham, and, as all gamblers will know you have to maximise such opportunities when they arise. As everyone knows on the reverse days from today when you do your testicles there will be no rebates or respites from that.

That said though, looking back at last year’s Festival, admittedly my best ever, and the Paddy Power Meeting too, I have now backed 21 winners in the last 7 racing days at Prestbury Park, 13 of them over double figures too. I am not naive enough not to know that this cannot continue but is certainly a record I am proud of.

Maybe it is greedy but I really feel I have missed a chance to build up the Bank of Bald today and ‘wanked myself off’, if you pardon the expression…not in a nice way either 8-).

It wasn't even the fact that I failed to back a couple of winners, that was a little unlucky and, bar one, I did the right thing from a long term perspective. What was worse was the way I cut and split several bets and did not have the courage of my convictions, most unlike me, both prior to the races and, on one occasion, during the race.

I retired to my hostelry and, after a quick shower and change headed into town. I had a leisurely walk around town and a nice meal before returning to my trusty laptop and ‘tomorrow’s business’…along with updating the torrent of shite too blog buddies… obviously.

Just one more rant before I go today. Can anyone tell me what all this bollocks is about regarding the end of the Routemaster Bus. Breakfast TV were going right over the top this morning with the fact that they are being decommissioned today. Why are people so obsessed with keeping things the way they are and not embracing any change? The new buses hold more people; they are cleaner, roomier and more comfortable so get over it already. I wonder if the same people lamenting these buses felt the same way about powdered milk, ration books and rickets? Haven’t these people got anything better to do? They could write a blog…in fact being THAT sad they SHOULD write a blog. Too much free fucking time on their hands some people.

I’m off to sulk about the placepot that never was 8-(

The morning after a night of European Glory

2005-12-08T17:54:00.000Z

I went to Highbury last night and, I tell you, never was a couple of hours more wasted. It was the most awful game you could ever wish to see. 2 sides playing for nothing and going through the motions. Neither side could be bothered to be honest and, nowhere was this more evident than the team selections.

On the plus side neither Cygan...'slight' injury apparently...these injuries have to start somewhere though. It wouldn't be the first time a slight injury became a 'niggling' one. keep 'em crossed blog buddies...nor Gilberto (rested smested...UN-ber-lievable!) were on the field. In hindsight it may have been good to have had them on the field if only to have something to laugh at, so dull were proceedings. The game did see the introduction, as a substitute, of, the just turned, 18 year old Kerrea Gilbert (no relation thank Christ) last year's youth team captain. He is English too...s'funny perhaps the media had missed that? Or perhaps they chose too. We don't have many Englishmen in the side, something the tabloids never tire of telling us...just a thought. For a brief moment when I saw the scoreboard though G-I-L-B-E-R-T...phew!

The real excitement last night however was taking place in the 'Estádio da Luz'...and how! A glorious European night eh...and as we are continually reminded by the sycophantic English sports media, nobody does 'Glorious European nights like Manyoo'...although I am not sure they actually meant it that way exactly 8-)

What do they do now? Sack Fergusmoan? Why?...the new manager would still not have the requisite money to spend, well not to compete with 'the Cheque Book Champions' anyway. No one in the country can do that. Still it might be a laugh if they did given what happened the last time they 'panic sacked' a managerial legend (Busby). I remember it like it was yesterday you know...aaah... nothing wrong with a man having dreams now is there blog buddies. We can but hope.

I hope none of 'yows' tailed me in with the small bet advised on Made in Japan for the Robin Cook Gold Cup on Saturday as it is a non-runner...dontcha just hate it when that happens grr. It will instead be aimed at the, slightly shorter, 2-mile Jenny Mould Memorial Gold Cup. Jenny Mould was the owner of 2002 Grand National winner Bindaree and a huge supporter of National Hunt Racing. Great to see her honoured with a pretty decent race. Saturdays' card does appear to have some respectful 'race names' that is for sure. National Hunt racing does seem to do this better than most sports. On a financial front, after doing my dough on Philip Hobbs's 'former' big race entry, I am now on a recovery mission before racing has even started.

Bloody Wycombe drew again on Tuesday too! Although still top, by one point, they could end up going the whole season unbeaten and not win the league at this rate. After much humming and haa-ing I have done what I should have done weeks ago and had a small saver on Grimsby. Amazingly they are still on offer at 7-1 with Bet £3.65. If you are lucky you might even be able to get £30 on too. I have thought that the Mariners have been Wycombe's biggest danger for a while...and not just because they unbuttoned Tottscum's cuffs for them either...although I grant you that IS an excellent reason. I think they are a pretty useful team and will almost certainly be thereabouts come the end of the season.

In League One my two teams had mixed times of it. Huddersfield threw away a 2-goal lead at Milton Keynes, conceding 2 goals in the last 10 minutes to only draw 2-2, having 2 players sent off late on too, just to compound matters. They are now 2 points behind high flying Swansea. For betting purposes, I do hope a big club comes in for Lee Trundle in the transfer window. The Swans are looking a little to much like the real deal for my liking. The goal difference is usually a really good guide in this and Swansea's is very impressive in this area.

In contrast 'Mad Dog's Barmy Bees' , Brentford, moved into third place...20-1 each way is still 5-1 you know...They also gave away a two goal lead, bizarrely giving up the second goal against 10 men when the opposition's keeper was given his marching orders...why do ref's not give 'marching orders' anymore? I know about the bath thing but why no MO's? Anyway the 3-2 win sees them sitting five points off the leaders and three behind Huddersfield Town.

What about today? Well I overslept...not often I do that. I was due to take part in some training this morning that started at 9. Arriving at 9.30 I had my excuse all lined up that, 'I thought it started at 9.30' only to discover that I was the first one there because it ..err...started at 9.30! Derr eh? I then discovered that it was a Child Protection Training Morning and I had already done this training several months ago so, in the end, I did not have to attend the morning at all. Whey hey...spent the first part of the morning in the pub and the second part in the betting shop then. I wish...Well I would have done if I didn't have so much bloody admin to do. I used the morning to clean up all the shitty jobs I have been putting off for ages. Almost as boring as watching Arsenal play Ajax it was too...although still preferable to being forced to watch Wimble-Chelski play Liverpool again. Anything but that please! Nightol in television form.

The afternoon was a waste of time too. I was due to do a home visit, with a colleague...or 'cunt' as we lovingly refer to them as...from Social Services. However the Mother of the young truant had neglected to tell the school that the family moved...on SEPTEMBER 15TH! No fears boys and girls 'Inspector Bald' will find them. Looks like another boring couple of days in front of a computer preparing a prosecution for non-school attendance. Life in the EWS...'it's a man's life'. Damned embarrassing though when the new tenant gave us the 'good' news. Grrr...raining it was too. I wonder if I can get the Social Worker to put Mum's kids into care...they are good at that Social Services...that'll teach Mum to mess with us...well maybe not. Nice thought though.

Off to Cheltenham in t'morning and really looking forward to that kiddies.

Love and kisses...BB

Well that was a laugh wasn't it?

2005-12-07T23:13:00.000Z

First Cygan gets an injury and now this...you know I am beginning to believe in a higher power after all. Praise be. Now about that Gilberto one..?

You couldn't make it up!

2005-12-07T17:03:00.000Z

Howdo Blog Buddies

I was watching Sky Sports News over breakfast this morning and two of their main stories almost caused me to choke on my beans on toast kiddies I tell you.

The first was seeing ‘that’ tackle for the first time. Well bugger me…an expression not an invitation you’ll understand…how barbaric was that? A career threatening tackle if ever I saw one. It is now the second time Essien has committed such a deplorable and reprehensible offence in a couple of months, inexplicably getting off scot free on both occasions. And what does his loathsome little manager have to say about it? Liverpool are whining! I kid you not. Now I know that Messrs Wenger and Fergusmoan, amongst others, have been known to have selective memories and blinkered vision on certain incidents but even they have never condoned the kind of assault perpetrated by Essien last night. An example of this can be found when they both refused to condone Ashley Cole’s tackle against Leicester and Keane against Alf Inge Halland respectively. Both offences incidentally that quite rightly drew red cards.

Because his owner can seemingly buy ( read pay way over the odds for) any player he wishes and, he himself can apparently say anything he wants, including libelling other managers without fear of FA censure (as would appear to be the case) does he now think his players can transgress the laws of the game whenever they see fit? The answer would seem to be ‘probably’. Let us hope EUFA has the spine to charge Essien for this piece of barbaric play that should have no place on a football field.

I don’t know if Patrick Vieira or Emmanuel Petit would have seen the tackle last night, or indeed the previous one but, given the lack of leniency of any kind shown to them when they first arrived on these shores, I suspect a wry disbelieving smile and raised eyebrows may well have been the response. Liverpool whingeing? You’re fucking right they are. It was a potentially career ending tackle and, had it been done by a fan outside the ground could well have resulted in a bloody prison sentence. You couldn’t make it up could you? Fast becoming the most hated and loathsome team in Premiership history, if they are not so already.

The second story was a good deal funnier…well at least it would have been if the key figure in it wasn’t being so serious. It involved ‘Fawlty’ Manuel Almunia, without a shadow of a doubt the worst goalkeeper (a term I of course use very very very loosely) I have ever seen play for my beloved Arse…oo er missus.

Almunia told Sky Sports, presumably with a straight face, that if he does not get more first team opportunities he will be forced to leave THOF… alright BYE THEN. What a cunt! Is he serious? Most Arsenal fans I know, quite rightly, complain at the number of games he has actually 'had' and he, as Murdoch’s minions so succinctly put it, is ‘bemoaning his lack of opportunities’. You could not make it up. He actually said that there were “…thousands of clubs he could go to”. Oh yeah where then? Hackney Marshes? Wanstead Flats? Market Rd? The trouble is here Manuel is that, although these kind of teams are always looking for a goalie, they do not pay wages! You, along with messrs Cygan, Gilberto and Flamini, to name three, are one of the principal reasons we will probably lose Thierry Henry next year. How dare you give Arsenal Football Club ultimatums you worthless piece of shit. You would be lucky if you had a job at Highbury carrying the bibs or the water bottles never mind actually keeping, or not as the case may be, goal.

I tell you what though. If you would like a lift somewhere give me a call. Failing that give me a shout and I will happily pay your air fare to anywhere you want to go…on the understanding that you will never come back of course! I still believe his performances against ‘Wimbledon in White Wanderers’ and Merchandise United (I wonder how much of the profits from the George Best memorabilia is going to Best’s family...hmmm?) last season to be the most ‘embarrassing by an Arsenal Goalie since George Wood in the 5-0 defeat at Shite Hart Lane in the 80’s.

I’m off to THOF, and more Manuel bloody Almunia, to watch the dead rubber against Ajax. At least Gilberto is not playing. Apparently he has been ‘rested’. How the fuck can you be ‘rested’ when you never do enough to get tired. Wish my line manager at work would rest me after I did not do my job properly. How lucky should I be eh?

I have come to the conclusion that I definitely watch too much telly though 8-)

The whingeing bastard...me and Rafa.

Plans for Xmas

2005-12-06T21:17:00.000Z

No blogging for a couple of days but not much has really been going on to blog about to be honest. That or I am ‘blogged out’. One or t’other.

I have had a couple of relatively quiet days at work and haven’t done much at night either.

I have been getting stuck into the first series of ‘Soap’. Whilst in the States recently I purchased every episode that was made, all 4 series, at a fairly decent price too.

Although the sets and outfits are a bit dated…something Crossroads tried to, unsuccessfully, copy last year...as is some of the humour, it is still very funny. Although they also produce a lot of jobbies, when the Americans do produce great comedy series' nobody does it better...Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm the Simpson’s, Roseanne, Soap, Dynasty...what? No? Come on, it must have been surely?

Hard to believe the first series of Soap is 29 years old though…fuck I feel so old you know 8-(.

No doubt I can plough through them over the horrible boring Humbug period…still haven’t got the Oz’s yet neither! I spoke with ‘my man’ this afternoon and he has assured me that I will have them by the time I go to Cheltenham on Friday morning…Oh did I tell you I was off to the holy place this weekend?

I am going down on Friday morning for, both days of, the, newly named, Robin Cook Gold Cup Meeting. A nice touch by Cheltenham to name the former ‘Tripleprint’ Gold Cup after one of National Hunt Racing’s greatest supporters. At this point I think Made in Japan looks a big price for the big race at 20-1 but only for a small wager mind you, not with masses of confidence. One thing I do not want to do at this stage though is take the 11/4 about Mackeson winner Our Vic. Too skinny to me for a horse with to many question marks. I am sure it is a certainty after that...I would lump on now if I were you 8-)

Hopefully on this trip to Cheltenham I might get to sleep, eat, go out on the Friday night and stop off for a nice meal on the way home…in contrast to my previous visit last month when the bloody abscess ensured that I was unable to do any of these things 8-). I will be hooking up with the Gent on Friday though, and that is always a nice thing to do at a racetrack. Good company and a real racing man is Alex.

What else have I been doing…oh yeah. I have been contemplating changing my plans for Xmas over the last few days. I am not sure if I am going to do the Welsh Grand National now, as is my usual scedule. I am still humming and aahing at the moment. My regular ‘Chepstow companion’ Gary is probably not going and I am not sure if I fancy the drive on my own. Also Gary was initially going to drop me of at Heathrow on the way back to catch my flight to Dublin straight after racing on the 27th before driving the baldsmobile back to London for me. I was going, still might be, to Ireland the night before racing on the 28th, so as to be fresh for the day’s racing.

I am thinking of perhaps booking another flight, cheap enough to be honest, and travelling over on Boxing evening and having three days of the Leopardstown, Festival as opposed to two.

However when I rang the hotel to book an extra night they told me they were going to be closed until the 27th…bollocks to that eh? Since when do hotels close at Christmas? I thought the idea was to get people into to their hotel over the festive period. Only in Ireland I suppose. Subsequently, if I want to go over a day early I will have to check into another hotel for one nightand I don’t know if I can be arsed to do that or not? The other alternative is to take the early, 8.00, flight over on the 27th, check into my hotel for about 11…no danger of a room being ready because no fucker would have been staying there anyway…and get off to Leopardstown, which is only a 10 minute stroll from my hostelry...no not the Bewleys 8-). I reckon that I still have a bit of time to decide anyway. I can’t think this flight will be selling out too quickly.

In addition to this I am still contemplating staying in Ireland for a few extra days after the racing ends too…believe me I have booked so many different flights over the Xmas period and I haven’t got a clue which one I will be using yet…to and from two different airports too! What’s the expression ‘I used to be indecisive but now I’m not so sure’…Sorry. I’ll get me coat eh

Well that’s if from me today. I am probably going to Highbury tomorrow for the game between Arsenal and Ajax reserves, as I expect it will be. Not too much enthusiasm for it to be honest, a real nothing game. We might get lucky anyway. Cygan might get himself sent off, or better still injured. We can but hope eh? How much do you reckon it would cost to get Cygan 'seen too'? Now there's something to put in my letter to Santa!

Night night

Stevie B

So near and yet so far

2005-12-04T22:56:00.000Z

Well I went to the Hold Em 100 today and had a really nice day.

As ever it was nice to see a lot of familiar faces and to meet lots of new ones…always a nice feature of the charity poker events. I always seem to get people coming up to me at these events, although less these days obviously, who have read some of my stuff on Gutshot or heard my name. Although it is pretty embarrassing most of the time it is also very flattering too, and there were several such cases today. It is always nice to meet nice people you have never met before though and today was no exception.

The people I knew already who it was nice to see were, in no particular order, Cathy O’Brien, Rory McCafferty, ‘Lady’ Jo Haslam, James Arber, Geoff Henman, James Davey (it has been years since I have seen James and he actually reads this blog apparently...fuck me the number of people telling me they read this blog has become too weird!) and a cast of thousands…all right dozens…Last but not least of course it was good to see Conrad and Maddy. Really great to see them both. Maddy actually seemed really pleased to see me too, so much so that I thought I might have owed her money. Fortunately I did not. Phew!

It was good to see the tournament back in its' ‘proper home’ of the Cobden Club too…no offence to the Western but it just did not feel right there last year. Well of course I am going to say ‘no offence’, have you seen some of the people who play there? I wouldn't want to upset any of THEM.

It was a good turnout too, in excess of 120 players I think, although I am not certain.

What of the day…umm…I don’t really do good ‘poker blogging’ to be honest and I am sure you don’t want to hear too much of the ramblings of a mediocre to average player. If you want to read about such things I am sure you can go to a ‘proper poker blog’

I will however give you a brief summary of my tournament before giving you a more detailed description of my demise. Hope that I do not bore you too much with a ‘torrent of poker shite’, as opposed to the regular version but here goes.

Early doors I had a couple of big hands cracked when favourite…then had a couple of hands win when underdog…’table captain’ on my table taking things a bit too seriously, got on my nerves a bit but then slowed down and wasn’t a bad bloke after all…loads of hands…yada yada yada…trebled up with Kings on the big blind…moved tables…saw no cards…saw aces doubled up. Made it to the last 16, the money…yaaay.

Then in 2 consecutive hands I doubled through and almost trebled through the next hand after it. I went from having 2 ½ big blinds (of 4000) to being chip leader on the table in 5 minutes!

Firstly I decided to stick it in with K Q suited UTG thinking that I was on the BB next hand and I would be happy to have seen that when I was. I was called in one spot and doubled up when I hit a queen. Bald power!

Next hand in the BB I looked down to find two lovely red Kings. 2 all ins ahead of me, although only one of them covered me, along with the small blind meant that, when the ‘Cowboys’…fuck me I’m coming out with all the poker terms too now eh. I’ll be posting on forums asking the best way to play Jacks soon…stood up I had over 60,000 chips and a slight chip lead on my table, and possibly the competition, with 14 players left. It appears five minutes is a long time in poker 8-)

I then saw a succession of 7 2’s and 9 4’s for the next two rounds and, although having to put in several losing blinds was in pretty good shape with around 45,000.

Then came ‘the’ hand. 6 handed I looked down to see A 6 suited on the button. Everyone else had folded around to me so I decided to raise, in hindsight I could easily have passed. I was sure that flat calling was not the thing to do, I mean I could not have then called a raise with my hand. Maybe I could have passed but both the blinds combined were worth 12,000 and I just...err...well fancied it to be honest...as you do. I called the 8,000 and raised another 25,000, about two thirds of my stack. I was raised quick as a shot by the BB who went all in. I needed to put in another 14,000 or so. I called, albeit with some dread, thinking I could be in ‘twuble’ and the BB turned over 10 10. Bollocks I thought. Oh well… on to the flop blank blank Ace…whoo hoo said my internal voice, whilst maintaining an exterior façade of calmness and dignity. Considering we were playing for close to 100,000 chips and a massive chip lead I must have jumped up about 50 feet in the air in my head. Winning the hand would have given me twice the chips of the second placed player left in, and over 3 times the amount of any other player on my table. If I had won the coup I could have fucked off to the pub for an hour and still been in good shape when I got back. However the turn card changed all that…a fucking 10….aaaaaaaghh, said the internal dialogue, whilst of course maintaining the same exterior calm. Although this time it was facilitated more by a sense of numbness. The river was a blank and that was that. “Oh well” I said to myself, “I was behind pre flop”. “Bollocks to that baldy”, the internal voice retorted, “You were in front on the turn…stop trying to rationalise everything” Lucky I am so good at 'wallowing' eh?

I was left with a big blind plus about 3000, not even enough for a small blind after. I threw the extra in blind...had absolute filth…10th place…£80. Just before Conrad gave me the ‘we have a former champion left in’ line too. Thanks for the bok Con’…8-), Still the day only stood me in £100 before ‘winning’ the 80! . Oh well it is for charady…and a damned good one too.

To be honest it was a real up and down day that very much tied in with my up and down weekend. I was never really in good shape for almost all of the day until the two hands that catapulted me into the lead. I do have to admit though that, after this, the thought then crossed my mind that I had a chance to be the first person ever to win it twice. Never was this more the case than when I saw that ace flop in the ‘big coup’. Testicles to the money I would loved to have done that. Name in the record books and all that. A minor achievement but …well, you know, a nice one all the same.

To be honest, looking back at the event now, I certainly had more lucky coups and cards at the right time than the opposite. Not trying to justify it or make myself feel better just being truthful. It still hurt when the luck ran out though.

All in all though a really enjoyable day, as it always is at this event, and, as they say in baseball…’play ball’…errr no not that one ‘There’s always next year’ Yeah that’s it. There’s always next year.

See you next December and many thanks to Conrad, Maddy, Tournament Director Ron Fanelli and everyone else from the Hold Em 100 team who worked tirelessly to make it a great day for all. Obviously I know as well as anyone how much hard work goes into organising an event of this kind, having been there, done it and sold the t-shirts…at a very reasonable price too I seem to remember… so I certainly appreciate it when attending one.

When I left Cathy O’Brien was still in so I hope she goes on to fly the flag. Fingers crossed for that. C'mon Cathy!... UPDATE I found out later she finished 7th a great effort nonetheless.

Special mentions to Lady Jo, Geoff 'the Pebble' Henman (always good to see Geoff) and James Arber for both finishing in the money. An excellent achievement.

Fuck me. I have been there for hours and I have had sod all to eat all day. Time for junk food and some self pity. NFL’s on too. Like a bandit tonight then kiddies. I don’t half like being me you know. Of course you know don’t you. I tell you often enough!

Having an edge?

2005-12-03T20:16:00.000Z

Howdo Blog Buddies

No blog entry yesterday…I was knackered to be honest. I ended up doing one extra day on the working week in the extra time I put in. All TOIL in the final analysis but the trouble was I went from absolutely nothing for two weeks to straight into full on. Subsequently I just vegetated last night. That 'little old obsessive me' again I'm afraid.

What I did do last night was to play a big forecast at the ‘Don that my man thought was tremendous value. However we ended getting touched off by a dog finding 7 lengths on its’ best time to record something like it has never done before, almost as fast as a race 3 grades higher later on the card…in racing parlance, we caught a ‘tartar’ and then some. I know it will change soon, bad runs being part and parcel of the game, and I know we have an edge at the ‘Don but things have not been going our way lately, that is for sure. Sometimes an edge is not enough!

Similarly, I received a phone call this morning telling me that Swindon Town, who were playing at Rotherham in League One, had their entire back four out of the game, that they were playing with a 3rd choice goalkeeper and were having to field ‘4 or 5 youth team players’. Now given that Swindon are shit anyway, no wins from 10 away games this season, and the fact that Rotherham (no world beaters themselves but good enough for this) were on offer at even money. Evens, thought I. This is now a 5-2 on chance. Unfortunately I did miss the ‘levels’ but still managed to get on at 5-6, before the price collapsed. Well boys and girls, what can I tell you? Swindon had one shot on goal, in first half injury time, and despite Rotherham dominating the entire game that was it a 1-0 defeat. To quote from the report on the BBC Website…

“The Millers attacked from start to finish with Paul Evans, Deon Burton and Lee Williamson all testing Rhys Evans.”

Sometimes an edge is not enough. Had one of my biggest bets of the year too 8-(. I suppose the moral is though not to get involved with bad teams. A 5-2 on chance in a seller at Cartmel is not necessarily a 5-2 on chance at Cheltenham, if that makes sense. It certainly hurt the bankroll that is for sure…ouch!

What else happened today? Well the Arse struggled (again) and lost to ‘Wimbledon in White’, and not for the first time too. How fucking hard can it be to defend against long balls and set pieces? It appears that the entire league sussed out Wimbledon when they were in the top flight…all except us that is!!! What the fuck do we do in training? In fairness though every report I have read said we were awful and deserved to be beaten.

You will also not be surprised to discover the following on the BBC Website. Firstly, “By contrast Bolton produced a performance of pace, power and ruthlessness, particularly in the way they exposed Arsenal's ill-at-ease emergency left-back Pascal Cygan…. The ploy led to both their goals, with the opener coming after the clumsy Cygan had conceded a free-kick in a dangerous area.”…and secondly “Arsenal's vulnerability was not confined to their left side - in fact their midfield was so porous that waves of Bolton attacks went unstemmed… Indeed it was Gilberto's woeful defending - covering for the missing-in-action Cygan - which allowed Bolton to help themselves to a second goal".

Well what a fucking surprise that little lot eh? Is Arsene Wenger the only person who does not know that, not only are Cygan and Gilberto nowhere near good enough, but they are a liability to the team? To be honest can you really blame Henry for wanting to leave when he has to play with cretins like that? Of course you can’t!!!! Cygan and Gilberto would not get a job sweeping the stands at the Camp Nou. As much as I love Arsene Wenger, and as much as I owe him, he has now lost the plot completely as far as these two players are concerned. Neither of them are fit to wear the badge of the club I love.

Oh…and here’s a little food for thought. In two weeks time 'The Human Kryptonite' will be facing Damien Duff, Joe Cole if he is lucky! It will be the greatest mismatch since Richard Dunne, the pipe fitter welder from Harrogate, fought Muhammad Ali for the World Heavyweight Championship! Richard Dunne eh…the only boxer (a term I use very loosely) in history with a cauliflower arse. I think I might just go racing that day. I cannot believe that I am genuinely praying that another human being actually injures himself. That is what that cunt Cygan has reduced me to! I don't like myself for it either but I do hope he gets an injury. Shameful really. I really did not think it would ever be possible for me to despise a footballer more than Teddy Sheriscum. Think again blog buddies. You won't beat Wimble-Chelski with 9 men!!!

Please Arsene swallow your pride and get rid of these cretins. You may end up with both of them, no Titi and no other top players not wanting to come to THOF. This is entirely possible unless you act now Players aren’t stupid…well actually a lot of them are but you know what I mean…they know how good other players are. They just will not come. Don’t be fooled by our winning the weakest CL group in history, we have many problems that are not going to go away. The good thing though is that they are patently obvious and solvable… but not if the manager continues to be pig headed.

Leaving the good news until last. I went to Sandown for the Tingle Creek day and had a really good day. A lovely autumn day. Not as cold as it has been and plenty of sunshine, albeit a touch crisp. Excellent racing too, although it did, probably still does to be honest, look a below standard Tingle Creek.

I only had 4 bets, and two of those were in the same race.

The first I backed at 12.5 on Betfair and, despite a rush of money for it, ending up with an SP of 7-1, finished a tired 5th on very testing ground.

Next up was Racing Demon, the great new hope of the Henrietta Knight yard, and one of whom I hold an ante post voucher for the Arkle at 20-1. Well so far so good as far as the ‘Demon’ was concerned. Still pretty green, witnessed by the fact it did not do a tap in front, it won fairly comfortably and is now a best priced 6-1 for Cheltenham. It really does look an exciting prospect to be honest and it will be interesting to find out where he will go next. Personally I would like to see it go for the big novice chase on New Years Day at Cheltenham, the same one won by Best Mate incidentally. Whatever it does it is a bet to nothing. I have backed it both ups over fences, including today, and have more than covered the price of the ante post bet with a nice profit to boot. It owes me nothing, I am now freerolling and it's a great place to be.

Next up came the big handicap of the day, “The William Hill Handicap Hurdle”. Having sat in all of last night I had a real study up of this race online and finally settled on two against the field, those being, the Irish trained Victram and Gary Moore’s Verasi. A quick perusal of Oddschecker.com saw the former at a best priced 9-2 and the latter 14-1. I backed them both each way and had slightly more on the former.

To be honest almost everything went to plan. The bigger price ended up winning the race with Jamie Moore riding the winner for father Gary and the favourite, having been the Pricewise pick in the morning, finishing third. So I copped all ways and it was actually the best way it could have come for me. I did however think that the jockey on Victram did seem to go for home too soon on, what is, a notorious ‘hold up’ horse. Maybe I am being harsh though as it could just as easily been the Sandown Hill that stopped it. Horses were finishing very tired today on the heavy ground.

I left Sandown and stopped off at Master Superfish in Waterloo on the way home, for a nice 'fish and chip supper/tea/dinner...not that one again eh 8-)... before retiring to Chez Baldman for the evening.

Oh...I almost forgot…had a word for a couple in the early races at the ‘Don. They both won at 3-1 and 9-4 respectively. Doubled them up too. Isn’t it good to have an edge sometimes 8-)?

Anyway. That’s it for me today. I am off to play in the Hold Em 100 tomorrow. It is being held at the Cobdon Club in Kensal Rd, the same place I actually managed to win the bloody thing a few years ago…don’t ask how please as I'm fucked if I know. I suppose an infinite number of monkeys and all that eh 8-). I shall be in attendance tomorrow afternoon if only to prove the theory that lightening does not strike twice.

I would like to have gone to Nottingham today for the Game 4 Life charity comp but the Tingle Creek meeting is one of my top meetings of the year to be honest, something Davey understands. I am sure everything will go well and a good time is currently being had by all.

I will now instead be at the event of the originators of the charity tournament as opposed to those that have taken it to another level...and then some. G4L just go from strength to strength. You always have to respect the originators though.

I look forward to seeing a number of old faces at the event…mind you I suppose I only have to look in the mirror to see old faces eh?

If you are there tomorrow and you read this 'torrent of shite' please come over and say hello anyway. I could also give you a telephone number for the Samaritans too.

Night night

The 'Born again Tory'

2005-12-01T22:03:00.000Z

Something happened this morning that I thought would never happen in my entire life. As a result I am considering suicide as the most humane option.

What happened was…I saw Ann Widdicombe on the TV and agreed with every word she said…aaaaagh!

To go to the beginning I have to go back to first thing this morning. I got up put the breakfast on, made the tea etc etc and, as you do, switched on the ‘custard and jelly’. I am not sure if it was GMTV or the Beeb to be honest but one of them appeared on my screen.

Soon after the presenter introduced a piece about cyclists and how many of them regularly disregard many aspects of the Highway Code etc etc. In truth it must have been a pretty slow news day. In the general scheme of things, not the most burning topic I feel.

The first person they introduced was a cyclist…not sure of his name. I shall call him Crusty Tree-Hugger, of the Hampshire Tree Huggers. You know the type. Ginger white bloke with short dread locked type nappy hair. Terribly middle class but so guilty about it he wants to look scruffy and poor to be on some sort of credibility trip. Probably taking working class lessons at night school too. Wonder if he has a pet dog that he walks on a string too? Still once he gets over it he will no doubt take his rightful place in the stock market, or some such, in several years time. Besides Mummy and Daddy probably own half of the county.

Anyway, in the red corner, we were introduced to the Wicked Witch of the West (Minster), one of the worst mutations to emanate from the Thatcher years. Ann ‘don’t let the makeover fool you’ Widdicombe. Cue jeers, boos and hisses from the 'bald section of the crowd'...well it is that time of year isn't it?.."Government's behind you", I cried. "Oh yes it is". You backed the wrong horse in Kenneth Clarke there didn't you darling?

CTH began and seemed to be trying to say that it is perfectly ok for cyclists to run red lights and generally not have to adhere to the same rules of the road as motorists because…are you ready…cars are bigger. What utter bollocks. No mention of the accidents that can be caused by cyclists running red lights, driving up on pavements, overtaking on the inside of a car when turning left etc.

Next up stepped the voice of reason (sic), ‘our Annie’. Everything that came out of her mouth could have come out of mine. Not all cyclists who do it but a large enough number to be concerned…no justification to ignore the Highway Code…running red lights unacceptable…can cause accidents when not following same rules as others yada yada yada…by jove, said I (almost turning into Ken Dodd. I shall have to watch that I can tell you), she has it spot on.

I do not have some sort of dislike for cyclists per se but, I have to be honest that, particularly in Central London, I am worried, nay petrified, that I will have an accident with a cyclist one day. The chances, and liberties, taken by many of them is there for all to see. Of course it is not all of them who do the above. Maybe not the majority but a large number nonetheless. The number of hairy incidents...no smart comments please...I have had whilst driving in town have been plentiful enough to worry about this. To make a point let me ask you this? When have you ever had a cyclist stop for you on a zebra crossing? How many times have you had to dodge them when trying to cross on one? Surely there needs to be a clampdown of the blatant flouting of the law, as well as more cycle lanes too I have to say. Just my twopennetth.

In the end, although she won the argument hands down, it did not matter what the argument was, it was just the fact that I had sat there thinking “ain’t the big bird talking common sense”. When I use the word ‘bird’ do be advised that I am not using it as a term of sexist endearment though…eeuuugh…sorry. Just the fact that I even thought of Ann Widdicombe as a 'bird'...Yuckkk!

I tell you blog buddies I felt positively dirty. I had agreed, and not just a little neither, with 'the Widdicombe’. I have eyed the gas oven on more than one occasion today I have to say. I fear I will be shunned by all my friends…well if I would be if I had any of course, but you know what I mean. Even my imaginary friends have refused to talk to me all day. The shame is just to great. I no longer want to live 8-(

Thank God my Mum had not seen it. I would never live it down. Just a touch to the right when it comes to the politics is Mater.

So much so that I am sure she used to think that Norman Tebbit was communist. “...and I suppose he expects the taxpayer to pay for the bikes as well does he?”

Please may she never find out what happened today…please! I have had numerous showers but I still feel unclean.

Like most people of ‘the right’ though, my Mum has been easy to wind up over the years. I remember convincing her one Xmas that, in the interests of political correctness, the Hackney Empire had decided to change the name of its’ panto’ to ‘Snow Caucasian and the Seven Persons of Restricted Growth…and she believed me too! No honest. 8-) Told all her friends and they all had a good moan I am sure…”it’s political correctness gone mad…I’m not racist but…yada yada yada…all those asylum seekers” All true. Always easy to wind up Tories…of which I am now one apparently aaagh. Vote Ann. She’ll sort out the cyclists! Coming to a doorstep near you. Imagine that?

Before I go today just one serious point. Today marks the 50th anniversary of Rosa Parks’ bravery, when she refused to sit at the back of the bus in Alabama, an act that engendered and inspired Dr King and the Civil Rights movement in the USA. It is just a shame that she could not quite make it to this historic milestone, having passed on a matter of weeks ago. I would like to quote from an e-mail sent out from Michael Moore I received today. I feel it captures my own thoughts perfectly.

“The greatest moments in history, the ones that have truly mattered and have taken us to a better place, are made up of scores of these singular acts by ordinary, everyday people who could no longer tolerate the crap and the nonsense of those in charge”.

“Today, whether it is a student who holds a sit-in to get the army recruiters off his campus, or the mother of a dead soldier who refuses to leave the front gate of the president's ranch, we continue to be saved by brave people who risk ridicule and rejection but end up turning huge tides of public opinion in the direction of righteousness. We owe them enormous debts of gratitude. It is not easy to stand up for what is right, especially when everyone else is afraid to leave the comfortable path of conformity”.

“Rosa Parks may have been alone on that bus at the moment of her arrest but she wasn't alone for long. The old order was shaken, the world was upended and, as a people, we were given a chance for a bit of redemption”.

Just a little food for thought blog buddies and a hope that that Rosa Parks’ bravery, and the stand she took, 50 years ago is not only never forgotten but it inspires others to make a stand of their own. You CAN make a difference and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Night night

My money’s on David for the leadership election by the way 8-)

Stevie B

I do like freebies

2005-11-30T21:39:00.000Z

Howdo kiddies

Having such a busy week not much time to update the old ‘torrent of shite’.

Work, work and more work at the moment. It seems I was wrong to place my trust in the union after all.

I had a really good night last night at Walthamstow though. Stuffed my face with free food and won a few quid. What more can a bald bloke ask for...actually I haven't got long so we can skip that one.

We actually had a couple of tables right at the front of the restaurant in a great spot for viewing the track…err we being Betfair, not a ‘royal we’. Great tables, great food and, as previously stated all free…yaaay. I of course ordered all of the most expensive items on the menu…and left them! Ha! No I didn’t actually but I did 'go for it' in the spirit of the freebie. Big fuck off Mediterranean Prawns, huge T-bone steak. Suffice to say that several animals were harmed…well killed actually…in the writing of tonight’s blog piece. Therefore I would like to apologise to all the vegetarians before I go on…not for the fact I had a big fuck off steak but because none of you are able to do likewise. We all know you want to though don’t we?

Great company too. John and I were on a table with a guy, JK Young I think his name was but I am not certain. The Alzheimer’s is really beginning to kick in. JK owned, bred and trained John Silver, the winner of the 1970 Greyhound Derby. Although he trained it he did not have a license so it was in the ‘name’ of a registered trainer as the GRA, the sport’s governing body at the time…I am sure you can work out the initials for yourself 8-)...They would not grant him a license on account of the fact that he was a bookmaker and owned a number of shops. However this changed after his charge had won greyhound racing’s Blue Riband event. He then told the GRA if they did not grant him a license he would take his dog ‘flapping’. This is a form of unlicensed racing and is akin to a promoter telling the authorities that he will be taking the heavyweight champion of the world prize fighting. Needless to say the GRA relented at this point. Top work.

JK, who is now retired and lives in the Isle of Man, told us some marvellous stories from ‘back in the day’ and, speaking personally, I could have sat there all night. A real character from the ‘old school’. I really hope our paths cross again one day.

On the gambling front although I did not play particularly seriously I actually made a decent profit. I can’t say it covered the ex’s because there weren’t any…yaaay…keep up…but let’s say it would have done if there had been. With enough left over for a nice winter bonnet, a pair of woollen mittens and a large bag of roasted chestnuts too I’d wager. Jesus it was cold brrr!

In all seriousness, a big thank you to Betfair, and Andrew Riddell for a really enjoyable night. John has put his order in for the BRGB Awards dinner in February with Betfair that hopefully, as last year, we will also be invited to. I do like the fact that John has no qualms about coming forward when Betfair are handing out the freebies. Two peas from the same pod he and me. Why stand on ceremony eh? I have to say though before I leave this subject. What a fucking great job Andrew Riddell has. He was telling us last night of all the events he has been at, several test matches of the cricket, rugby, horse racing etc etc…that isn’t work it’s a dream! At least I now know what I want to do for a living. Now how do we get rid of the big fella?…hmm…suggestions on a postcard blog buddies. A free ticket, or two, for any of the little boys and girls in Blogsville who can help me. Fuck it will be hard getting rid of the body though won’t it?

I saw in yesterday’s newspapers (a term I use loosely) that the Wenger to Real Madrid season us upon us again. What utter bollocks. Before you even begin to try to qualify this ridiculous rumour I think you have to look at one thing above all others. Le Boss is a manager and ‘Franco’s Team’ only employ ‘coaches'. A big difference and one I feel Arsene would not even consider. Arsene is a manager in the British tradition, Fergusmoan, Shanks, Clough, whereupon they have total control of the football club, that is to say, all matters football related. Could anyone really imagine Wenger being ‘given’ players bought by the President, usually a man who, although successful in business, has no football ‘qualifications’ whatsoever. Throw in some instructions that certain players 'have to play' too tells you that the story is ridiculous. Aligned with this is the imminent unveiling of Arsene’s baby, the new stadium. He has been involved in the design of Ashburton Grove (Emirates Schemirates) to the most intricate levels. Some say meticulous others would say ‘control freak’…and they do not like control freaks in the Bernebeau I can tell you. An example of this is that, apparently. He has even designed the layout of the home dressing room to the extent that he has had ensured that all seating is equidistant to where the manger would stand, in relation to the chalkboard…actually it will probably be a state of the art, fuck off, nutter, turbo-bastard, interactive whiteboard I suspect but you know what I mean. It does appear that Le Boss has had a say in masses of different facets of the ground. I suppose it sells papers but Arsene Wenger is going nowhere. Hopefully Pig Face Rooney's chav girlfriend will go shopping tomorrow and it can then relegate the ludicrous Wenger stories to become chip paper. Whilst we have Real on the phone though I wouldn’t mind taking Baptista on loan now he is fit…8-). I can wish I suppose eh. 8-)

That’s all from me today I am actually going to relax for a bit. All of 25 minutes I reckon 8-(

I was hoping to go to Sandown on Friday and take a day’s leave but, after two weeks of sick leave, that would be taking the urine methinks. I will look forward to the Tingle Creek meeting on Saturday instead. That’s if I haven’t flaked by then. Talk about two extremes. Fuck all work for two weeks; fuck all rest for one (at least). Oh well it keeps me off the streets I suppose…but enough of my sex life.

Night night all

BB

Back at the factory

2005-11-28T19:20:00.000Z

Good day to you kiddies.

Greetings from the little town of Baldsville.

First day back at work today and boy was it heavy. I can’t believe how much work I got through. Nothing like jumping in at the deep end eh? By the end of the day my brain was definitely hurting. Rather that than the molars though I can tell you.

My dance card is pretty much just as full for the rest of the week too. Still, only 106 days to the Cheltenham Festival...well 105, 18 hours and 40 minutes actually!

It is going to be a very long day tomorrow too. I have wall-to-wall meetings and I am then going straight to Walthamstow for the Racing Post Festival Grand Finals Night. It is probably the best night’s dog racing action, outside of Greyhound Derby Final Night, in the whole season (as I am sure Mr Leighton and his comrades will vouch for...well for as long as they remain sober anyway 8-)) and a feast for all racing enthusiasts.

And here’s the best bit…drum roll…it’s all free!...Gratis, sweet FA, bugger all, knish, not a sausage…yaaay. Thanks to my mate John we have a Betfair freebee in the Goodwood Lounge. Only one thing better than winning money from gaming companies if you ask me, and that is greedily feasting on their free hospitality. ‘Is it free? I’ll have two’, that’s my motto boys and girls. Doggie bag? Fuck that. I’m taking a black bin liner...or two! Gonna get me my 4½%’s worth and no mistake (2 in Johns’ case…well I wouldn’t be there otherwise now would I?). Should be a good night though and I am looking forward to it. Oh, and if I am told anything to back, I will make sure to fucking listen this time 8-(...nothing like letting things fester dontcha think? I DO 'festering'. No one does 'festering' like the bald fella... but then you knew that already didn't you 8-)

Also looking forward to getting the updates on the pups too, as Gary and the Dogolphin people should all be there tomorrow. Hopefully I will have a concrete day of their arrival and potential trialling dates. Watch this space, as I am overly fond of saying.

We now think we will be taking the bitch, Callacopper, to the ‘Stowe. We are hoping Mark Wallis will agree to train her too. This is something else we want to find out tomorrow, if we can get his ear, a more than good chance of that too I reckon knowing the 'owners' as I do. If you think I can talk then you haven’t met John 8-)

Not much else to report really. Another winning bet on the NFL was pleasing. I am showing a healthy profit on the season now and am 7 for my last 9, with one of the two losers winning only just failing to cover the spread. That has just been bokked now I suppose. Dare I say 'free money is back'...I ain't half going to regret saying that you know 8-( Watch this s...oh fuckit don't bother.

‘If you’ve got no socks you can’t pull ‘em up’

Night night

Stevie B

My mid-life crisis

2005-11-27T16:20:00.000Z

I am finally getting me a copy of the Sun Ra DVD. Gilles is back in the country and I managed to ‘blag’ me a copy after finding out that the executive producer of the programme is Gilles’ mate. Yaay to that say I!

He did say that he did not think it was as good as the Gil Scott-Heron documentary that was produced by the same company, but well worth watching nonetheless. He felt it was very difficult to do justice to such a complex subject in an hour and that may have been something that caused the programme to suffer a bit. Anyway, I can now be the judge of that, looking forward to getting my copy.

I did about 80% of my Christmas shopping today. Thank fuck for that I say. I always like to get out and do it before the marauding hordes of tourists converge on the West End in the weeks of December. Being the sad anally retentive bastard I am I did of course have my list sorted. I also had my route planned too. 8-) At least it is almost over for a year anyway. Have I ever told you how much I hate Xmas? Bah bloody humbug!

The rest of the day has been a lazy one to be honest. I have been moping around ‘wallowing’ a bit to be honest. I am still not sure what I am going to be doing, career wise, following on from previous posts. Being off work for a couple of weeks has given me a lot of time to think about things. I don’t know if I am just having a little mid-life or something (I should live to be 86 already eh?…the middle of my life has long since past if I am totally honest, but you know what I mean). It could also be the ‘post illness blues’ that I have had before too. You know when you have been ill for a while, lost a couple of weeks, still feeling a bit low, loads of work to go back to and not wanting to face it etc. Not uncommon I reckon.

I am going to wait until I officially move to the EWS and give it a go but have decided to keep my hand in and, as such, am going to start looking through the Times Education Supplement and the Wednesday Grauniad…although I am still not sure I want to stay in education. Indeed that might even be the issue.

Oh well first things first. I need to get back in the swing and try to catch up this week. That should be more than enough to be going on with. The one problem with a ‘stand alone’ job such as mine is that, when I am not there, there is no one else to do any of the work. The spread on e-mails stands at 250-256. Think I want to be a buyer at that spread...have to go with the ‘overs’ me feels 8-(...and that of course is before I address any of the 'real work'. Aaaagh!

Had a bit of a shit day yesterday too, culminating in a series of events that would have caused me to tear my hair out if it was not still in the launderette. We had a tip for a dog at Wimbledon, which John told me about when we were at THOF in the afternoon. Unfortunately the thing I heard the loudest was "...in the A3". The dog was called Mercury’s Hope. However upon getting home I had a quick shufty of the 'Eggs on toast' and seeing 'the' A3 at 10.30, read it to be 'Mustang Parade'. Sometimes you just hear something to the exclusion of other things don't you kiddies? Of course I did not look to see if there was more than one A3, of course there was 8-(. To be honest I had a number of things to do and was more than a little distracted. So there I was waiting for the final contest of the evening, which I judged would have been just after Titi's appearance on Parkinson. However just before 10 I had an animated call from John. 'Were you on?” he asked excitedly. "It's not off yet is it?", was my retort. He then proceeded to tell me that the dog had just won at 8-1..."aaaaaagh", said I, or words to that effect. I think the most common word in the exchange was 'bollocks'. However the sting in the tail came later. The dog I thought it was, won at 4-1. Therefore if John hadn't have rung I would have (inadvertently) been on. If the original dog would have got beat and John not rung I would have ended up backing a winner that I shouldn't have too. Oh, and I was going to go to Wimbledon last night too. I asked Shippy if he fancied it on Friday. If I had done this I would of course definitely backed the 8-1 winner. The 'Luck Gods' move in mysterious ways sometimes eh? Could of paid for all those bloody 'bah humbug' presents too...grrrr. However, as it turned out, the only losing scenario ensued. I won't bore you with the rest of my shitty day (for a change...well it is Sunday) but this really was a crap end to a crap day.

That has probably contributed to my being a bit pissed off today but has little baring on the career stuff to be fair. Watch this space as they say...well as I do anyway.

That's it for today blog buddies. Job offers on a postcard 8-)

Almost forgot...how remiss of me? Kansas City –3 at evens with Skybet is my NFL investment of the day but only a smallish one to be honest. There is not a game that stands out for me on this weeks’ coupon but I thought the evens was too big, something that the odds compliers at Skybet seem to have agreed with as they have now cut it to 5-6.

At least I am eating properly now anyway. Nothing like being pissed off and being ABLE to eat rubbish and junk food is there?

Love and kisses

BB

Feeling better but still whingeing

2005-11-26T21:38:00.000Z

Howdo blog buddies.

Feeling much better now…but not looking forward to the pile of work awaiting me at the factory on Monday 8-(. I am even eating 'proper food' again. Yaay!

Firstly I need to put my two-penneth on the passing of George Best. I saw Best play live on a number of occasions during my formative and adolescent years.

I first saw him play at THOF during the (first 8-))‘Double’ season and again the following year. In fairness it was probably at a time when his problems in life may have been getting the best of him. His ‘extreme facial hair’ period. However, personally, I remember him more when I got to see him play a few years later when I was lucky enough, along with many thousands of other ‘neutrals’, to see him play for Fulham alongside Rodney Marsh. These games were nothing short of wonderful with the skills on offer quite breathtaking, and seemingly effortless. I have also seen countless clips of Best over the years and the conclusion for me is that he has to be the most naturally gifted footballer to come from the British Isles.

I do however feel that he cannot be considered the best of all time and spoken of in the same breath as Cruyff, Maradonna or Pele as he did not achieve nowhere near what he could have done and as the reasons for this were self-induced, I do not have massive amounts of sympathy for him neither. I know that he was under enormous pressure in his early days at OT and there is even an argument that the management at Utd could have done more to assist him in this, and up to a point I do take this on board. However he had countless times to clean up, and stay clean, in later life and, in these instances he had infinite support to do so but did not. Another gripe of mine is that, despite receiving his kidney transplant, he did not seem particularly willing to change his lifestyle, if not for himself then for his loved ones and family around him. I wonder how the family of anyone waiting for a kidney and suffered greatly, or even died, at the same time of his transplant must have felt. Especially so when hearing the countless stories of Best being out on the piss. Not good I would have thought.

A fantastic footballer, a wonderful character on the field and very much the first ‘pop star footballer’ but I am not jumping on the band wagon to canonise him as a person as I do not think this should be the case. I can assure you it is not his Merchandise Utd roots that has me thinking this way too. I own several videos of the great player, although I also made the mistake of buying the video of ‘Best and Marsh video' which involved the two men going through their after dinner speaking routine. This was an awful succession of stereotypes including a large degree of sexism and one or two racial ones to boot. It does not sit in 'the collection' having been 'transferred' to the local charity shop long since. However the footie videos are great and that is the way I shall remember him. The skinny, lean, scrawny kid with phenomenal speed and balance eluding the potential leg breaking tackle by Chopper Harris when the faintest shrug of the shoulders made Mr Harris look very stupid indeed. I shudder to think what happened in the return game at the Bridge. It has to be said too that, in those days, he was a seriously cool fucker. A true iconic image of the 60's.

Great player, not such a great person. There will never be another though. Totally unique and, in the final analysis, I suspect we would all like to be described that way wouldn’t we?

I did hear someone remark about the irony of his passing in the week that 24 hour drinking became legal. I can see the humour in that but a bit harsh I feel.

I do have to say though, with much pride in my fellow Gooners, that ‘Gods’ chosen People’ impeccably observed the minute’s silence at the THOF today, which I thought, was very fitting and proper. The kind of thing that gives football fans a 'GOOD' name. Let's hope the press print that eh.

The game itself today was a strange one. In fairness Blackburn, who surprisingly seemed to be more intent on playing football than maiming our players, (wow eh?) had more than the lion’s share of possession. They worked hard, put us off of our stride and created some decent chances too, often ably (?) assisted by the total incompetence and regularly out of position Cygan. They certainly had cause to feel aggrieved to go in at half time 2-0 down. However the gap between the ‘haves’ and the 'have nots’ was never more apparent than the three quality goals we scored, all 3 finishes that were sublime. In the end that was the difference between the teams and the reason for a fairly lopsided score line in truth. I felt for Blackburn to be honest…well except Robbie Savage anyway. There are not many more odious players plying their trade in the Prem and, proving that a leopard rarely changes its’ spots, he was involved in several unsavoury acts of diving and trying to get opposition players punished. You would have though that someone with such limited natural ability would actually be grateful that he has probably made enough money never to have to work again in his life wouldn’t you? I mean in what other profession can you become so financially successful with such a lack of skill and qualifications…oh yeah. Well apart from THAT.8-) He was made to look pretty silly on a number of occasions at times, not least by some outrageous pieces of skill from Titi.

What else on the footie front? Well the Chairboys, (my rapidly becoming ‘beloved’) Wycombe won what looked, on paper, like tough game away at Carlisle, scoring the game’s only goal in the 88th minute. Another clean sheet too. Nathan who? 8-)

One division below both of ‘my teams’ scored good victories. Brentford scored a pretty good away win at Scunthorpe to move into a share of 3rd place and Huddersfield moved into a share of top spot by beating pre-season favourites for the title Nottingham Forest. With the halfway mark approaching I am happy with all of these teams’ performances.

The only blip today was the defeat of Sheffield United at Leicester, whilst Reading were winning again, this time at Plymouth. The Royals have now gone 4 points clear at the top…and no I did not heed the advice of either Andy Ward or the Camel to ‘lump on’ Reading 8-(. Nevertheless I am still happy enough. It is a long way from over, as Reading has to go to almost all of the promotion chasing teams in the coming months. That said. Just how good a manager is Steve Coppell. Seems like a real top bloke too from what I can gather…unlike Neil Warnock eh. Let’s hope the old ‘nice guys finish last’ adage comes true eh. Well, screw nice. I have money on the Blades! It’s all about priorities luvvies 8-). The main one being ME!

Something I have discovered of late is BBC Radio 7…it’s official I have become an old codger…aaaagggh. A feature of 7 is the number of old and classic comedy shows they put out. I have heard episodes of Hancock that I never even new existed. Now, although I am not a fanatic (makes a change eh) I am a bit of a fan so this has been wonderful to discover these. What I have listened to though are several episodes of ‘Around the Horn’. Although some of it is now quite dated other bits of it are simply wonderful. Most of these bits involve Kenneth Williams. I had no idea until recently but some of the material he was doing was quite outrageous. When you consider that it was around 40 years ago it is quite astonishing to comprehend he was getting away with some of things he did. He did so, in the main by using ‘Polarie’ and a number of outrageous ‘double entendres’, that one can only think the censors at the BBC did not understand. Polarie by the way was a form of ‘slang’ and a langague used, at that time although hardly at all today, exclusively by gay men. In many cases to be able to communicate in times of extreme persecution. In others, knowing some people who used it, just to camp it up though I reckon. In a time when the most innocuous piece of TV and music was being banned the BBC was also putting out, what can only be described as, totally anarchic comedy. I might be rapidly becoming an old git but it certainly has its’ advantages. How ironic that it took the technological development of digital radio for me to discover 40-year-old comedy 8-).

As well as those above they also put out many other old shows, some wicked plays too. I listened to an episode of ‘Just a Minute’ from 1999 today, starring, the great man himself Sir Clement Freud, Paul Merton, Stephen Fry and the late Peter Jones. Absolute supreme radio comedy is the only way to describe it.

Fuck me. I’ll be listening to the Archers next won’t I? 8-)...It appears that Amy has her suspicions about Alan and Usha and William has phoned Ed Grundy’s employers in France to mark their card too…for those of you who ARE interested in this week’s events in Ambridge by the way. Enough already…I got it from the BBC Archers web site. Jeez! I am not that said, yet. Still a fucking great theme tune though dontcha think?

That’s it for me I’m looking forward to watching Titi on Parkinson tonight. Let’s hope ‘Parky’ is warmer to the present Arsenal legend than he used to be to a former one, Ian Wright, who he used to regularly slaughter in the newspaper column he used to write. Some of it was so strong it just had to be personal. Apparently Stevie Wonder is appearing on the show too. Two legends on one show eh?

I have decided to do my Christmas shopping tomorrow…won’t take long I can assure you. God I hate Christmas. Grrr!

Not turkey again!

2005-11-24T14:15:00.000Z

Happy Thanksgiving blog buddies.

What’s all that about having two Christmases…and 5 weeks apart too?...yeah I DO know what it is really supposed to signal but all the 'trimmings' are the same though.

Anyway don’t the Yanks know that the ‘real Xmas’ takes place on the second Tuesday in March?

Two lots of Turkey though….yeugggh. I hate Turkey. Actually I hate Christmas to be honest, although that is for a different time. Same place, different rant, another time. Keep it tuned, as they say. Two family dinners as well…aaaaagh. I refer you back to the wonderful quote from the Gent in a telephone conversation we had on the morning of day one of this year's Cheltenham Festival. I said to him that “ Happy Christmas. This is our Christmas”, to which he replied, “It’s better than Christmas because you do not have to spend time with your family”. Pure class.

Still at least there are a couple of NFL games on the box to keep me entertained. I shall have to take one less painkiller so as to stay awake though 8-). Poxy gums/mouth still bloody sore. 8-(

My doctor has now signed me off, for the week so it’s back to work on Monday for the baldster. I bloody hope so anyway.

I did (finally!)find a productive use for my blog yesterday…needles and haystacks there eh kiddies. Let me explain. Upon picking up the post I was somewhat perturbed to receive a Penalty Charge Notice (PCN) for a parking offence that (supposedly) took place on July 24th this year. What was equally disturbing was that it was a ‘second letter’ and was asking for an increased payment (double the initial fee) of £100. Now there are a just a couple of little flaws in this. Those being that, not only have I never had a ticket on my windscreen at any time but I also did not receive any correspondence informing me that I had to pay the fine. Although I could not remember what I was doing on the exact day I was fairly sure I should not have had a ticket. Being aware of the stringent parking restrictions in this area I would probably be able to remember the few times I have ‘flaunted’ them by memory alone. The parking restrictions in the West End are really crazy. At this point I also have to tell you that the number of times I have been given a ticket in the past 18 years when parked on a resident’s bay whilst displaying a VALID resident’s permit (i.e. parked in the correct place) runs into double figures. On one occasion I was even towed away from such a bay twice in one day…by a WESTMINSTER truck. I live in Camden by the way and was parked on a Camden bay at the time. I had all this in mind when I appealed and told them so with the letter I sent, that included all details of my permit etc. It was at this point I hit upon the idea of consulting the blog. Aha, I thought. That’ll tell me what I was up to on the day. It turned out that this was the day after the Game 4 Life black tie launch in Smithfield. Reading my blog I was able to ascertain that I had the ‘lurgi’, a horrid virus, on that particular date and was in bed all day on the date of the offence. Subsequently I could not have driven or moved my car. This in turn means I will appeal any fine in the unlikely event they get back and say it stands. You never know with Parking Solutions at the Town Hall. They really are a law unto themselves.

Who said blogs were useless, a waste of time, anal, self indulgent and narcissistic? A wise person probably and they were not far wrong either I suspect 8-). However you can now add a new one to the list... evidence for parking ticket appeals too. Fucking traffic wardens…8-(

Watching Coronation St last night was worth every minute spent if only for the wonderful exchange between Cilla (Battersby-Brown 8-)) and Yana, surely the finest comedy duo on TV today. I am not sure if there is an omnibus or something on later in the week but if there is set the recorder. The Street doesn’t always get the credit for its’ wonderful humour but this was a hilarious scene. I would like to know how many takes they did because it must have been almost impossible to keep a straight face. Lines from Yana such as “He were lovely were Billy. Had a look of Mike Nolan from Bucks Fizz about him” and “'Is there a 'q' in cucumber?' met with a reply from the ‘wonderful Cilla' of “derrr…” followed by a long pause before a straight faced "...of course there is”, What a superb comic actress Wendi Brown (Cilla) is. The Street, still the ‘guvnor’ after all these years. Pure quality.

Carrying on with the ‘Family Entertainment’ theme. After the Street, carefully avoiding the dogs on 425, (it has not been a successful week on the canine front) I watched a film I brought back from the U.S…no my man has still not come through with the Oz’s yet...grrr!..The film was ‘Mickey’, by John Grisham. A feel good baseball story about a boy playing Little League Baseball with a pretty good storyline too, albeit a bit cheesy. Enjoyed it though. The one thing Hollywood does consistently well is to make great baseball movies. The Natural (my personal favourite), Bull Durham (the set where Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon ‘got it together’), Major League 1 and 11 (the least said about 3 the better), Pride of the Yankees (the Lou Gehrig story), Long Gone, League of their Own, Eight Men Out, Field of Dreams and many more. All of the highest standard. It has always been a source of disappointment why (proper) football has never been able to do likewise…please don’t throw ‘Escape to Victory’ at me either. I think that ‘When Saturday Comes’ is still a contender for the worst film I have ever seen too. Perhaps it is because the nature of baseball lends itself to being ‘film friendly’? I am not sure to be honest but a large number of baseball movies do tend to be of a very high quality. Incidentally I recommend any of those above and more. The great thing about these films too is that you do not really need lots of knowledge of the sport to enjoy any of them.

That’s if for me today boys and girls…I like Atlanta giving up a field goal in Detroit at the evens on offer with Sky Bet today. I have made a small 'holiday sized' investment on the outcome too. Let's hope that the only turkey is on the plate.

Happy Thanksgiving 8-)

Who's the wanker, who used to be, in the black?

2005-11-23T17:11:00.000Z

I am very much of the opinion that, in the Prem’, the standard of refereeing/officiating is as low as it has ever been. I really believe that there was a time when we were able to boast the best ‘out of breaths’ in Europe, if not the world. This unfortunately is now long gone I feel.

Oh, and to answer any questions. Yes I am a qualified referee, I did so 25 years ago but, mainly due to parental attitudes (I was, as you know involved in Junior football) I am no longer active, nor do I wish to be. Secondly, maybe I could not do better but then I do not do it for a living…and forget about the differential between Professional refs and amateur ones, they all get paid a very tidy sum. Far more than I, or almost all of you I would wager, earn in a week. Subsequently they should be doing a far better job than they do. If Graham Poll is considered our premier adjudicator then we really are fucked I have to say.

One of the features of watching the 'Champions, runners up and the teams from the rich countries that finished third and even fourth if you are a really wealthy league, League' or CRTTFTRCTFTFYRWL League to give it a snappy title, has been the standard of arbitrating...well to a sad fucker like me anyway. For the most part I have been impressed and depressed (at the level our own ‘out of breaths’ have sunk to) by the high standards on view. This has been the case for many of the blokes who sit around me at the THOF too and something that has often been commented on during such games...ahem...in between talking about cars, tits and how much larger we can drink of course...obviously. Us blokes huh...?

However, last night, I witnessed the most incompetent display of refereeing by ‘the man formerly in black’ and his two (sic) assistants as I have ever seen in Europe. From the first whistle to the last they proceeded to make a succession of incorrect decisions. I do not really care that the Arse only won the game thanks to two of the worst ones. These being the ridiculous decision to disallow a perfectly good goal for our opponents and, in my opinion, awarding a highly dubious penalty when, at best, van Persie was caught with the merest of touches.

In the first 15 minutes alone the afore mentioned Dutchman was called back 3 times for being offside when clean through. On all 3 TV showed him to be on. There were others that followed too, as were there a number of bad fouls that went unpunished too as well.

Ironically, the biggest decision of the game, and the one that rivalled our whistle blowing chum when it came to 'killing the game as a spectacle', was about the only thing he got right, sending off a Thun defender for a (sic) professional foul on Robin van Persie…he was getting around last night wasn’t he?

It wasn’t about ‘who got the better of the decisions for me’; it was after all pretty much a nothing game for us. However it was very much the opposite for our opponents, particularly so with all the financial implications and entry into the ‘Wafer Cup’ at stake.

I am most interested to find out if EUFA impose any sanctions against the Portuguese Arbitrator/s who was, quite frankly appalling and an absolute disgrace. I shall think twice before making statements such as “…how can you get any worse than Graham Poll?” in the future that if for sure. Or maybe not...w-eeeee-ll I fucking hate Graham Poll, the arrogant gobshite...pot?...kettle? 8-)

It could be argued of course that had Thun scored Arsenal would have stepped up a gear and actually put some decent effort into it. This is something we certainly did not do for most of the evening. However this is also something we will never know and in the meantime the ref, and his linos, may have cost the Swiss side a large chunk of their wage bill for the season. This would have been their financial award for beating the Arse, finishing third in the group and entry into the ‘Wafer’, and maybe more too? Very wrong in my book.

My biggest concern though is how long before video evidence is introduced? Surely it has to come soon. With all the modern technology on offer I do not buy the argument about how much it would slow the game down. It could be done simultaneously with the game. Besides, how many top quality referees...and of course Paul Durkin... that have been forced to retire, some would say far too early, are there out there who could do such a job? It has to come soon. Players are becoming 'better' cheats, as it were, and standards of refereeing are dropping. I can't see either one changing in the near future too. Quite frankly it is a ludicrous state of affairs.

I would favour the 'challenge system' adopted by the NFL, and the preferred method of Msr Wenger. Each team/coach could have so many opportunities to make their protest. This could also cut down Alex Fergus...sorry frivolous appeals...from spoling the game. There's that bubble popped eh.

Apart from spoiling the game for all the spectators, last night’s officials have unjustly punished Thun, even bearing in mind the number of wrong decisions made against God’s Team.

Let’s hope those responsible have adjudicated at their last CRTTFTRCTFTFYRWL League tie. Don't hold your breath...besides it's very dangerous, lack of oxygen an' all that.

Despite all of this the performance by the Arse was a poor one, as nice as it is to play bad and win. I also think the ‘Arsenal have finally cracked Europe’ stuff coming out of the media may also be a tad premature. Our opponents in the group are currently 12th in the Czech League, 5th in the Swiss League and 6th in the Dutch League (hardly Serie A or the Primera Liga eh?). I hope I’m wrong but I shan’t be booking any hotels for Paris in May just yet.

Could be worse I suppose…could be a Tottscum fan. Did you know they used to be in Europe quite a bit? Not even the Anglo Italian Cup either honest…although not the European Cup though obviously!

Come on Benfica. A nation expects…No not Thailand. England of course derr!

Bloody mouth is still sore too...don't think I will be back at work this week. The trouble with bloody painkillers is that, when they are 'good ones', you actually think you are feeling much better. Subsequently you stop taking them until the buggers wear off. Only one thing to do then. Yep. Climb back into the bottle. Bet people with dentures never have this problem.

Sympathy on a postcard to the usual address. 8-(

The whining and whingeing ain't over yet

2005-11-22T19:27:00.000Z

Greetings to all the boys and girls in blogsville.

Just after I thought things had sorted themselves out in the teeth department I had an awful night, waking up several times for more painkillers. The trouble with these pills is that sometimes they work so well that you think you are better…until the bloody things wear off that is. It appears that the infection is still live and incubating.8-(

I was going into work today but Thursday now looks more realistic. A couple more days whining and whingeing yet blog buddies.

I watched another excellent episode of the wonderful ‘Broken News’ last night. I am looking forward to the repeats, and being able to bloody laugh properly too, so I can really enjoy them. If you haven’t seen it yet the next episode is on Monday on BBC2 at 9.30pm. Very funny too.

I messed around on Betfair on this afternoon’s racing today and, thankfully made a small profit. One of the races in which I was not involved in though was definitely the most interesting. This involved a horse called Ben Casey. I have to tell you blog buddies that, not for the first time in his career, the ride given to this beast by Paul Eddery was little short of scandalous. The lack of effort shown by Ben Casey's pilot was probably more embarrassing than anything. You would think if you were going to give a horse an....ahem...easy ride...a professional jockey (well a loose term in his case) would be able to make it look better than that. This was also accompanied by the horse being very easy to back in the early exchanges in the ring. Pure coincidence I am sure. I am not sure what price it drifted to on the machine but tomorrow’s ‘Eggs on toast’ will no doubt tell us. Seeing as it is not the first time he has done this it could well signal the end of Paul Eddery’s, already flagging, career.

Only a short one today I am going to watch the Arse on ITV4 this evening. I was going to have a few sheckles on them but, unfortunately, that cunt has been picked at left back again and he just cannot be trusted, as witnessed on Saturday. It will be good to see the boy Song though. He looked a decent prospect in pre-season and has looked an accomplished player in all the reserve team highlights I have watched…I know. I do, sorry. In my defence they are free as part of my Arsenal Online package though. Still sad I know.

Similarly we are also taking the field with the worst goalkeeper I have ever seen in my 36 seasons of going to THOF, 'Fawlty' Manuel Almunia. That said FC Thun does seem to be a team in decline and we appear to be going the other way. Similarly you cannot see than stopping Titi even if he 'half-fancies it' tonight. Mind you I am sure I can find better even money chances in all honesty…although not on the bloody NFL I suspect. I shall be keeping my money in my pocket tonight...unless I like the look of one at the 'Don though eh 8-)

More whining tomorrow my voyeuristic chums.

PS I have removed a bit of this post since yesterday as it appears the information that filtered into Baldman Towers, re the gutshot court case, was incorrect. They are not yet going to Crown Court, apparently, but have to attend another hearing to see if they WILL be going to Crown Court...if err that makes sense. If indeed anything contained in this blog ever does. Something I very much doubt.

Sick Notes for a fiver

2005-11-21T19:26:00.000Z

Evening boys and girls.

Went to the dentist today. I felt a bit better yesterday so did not want to ‘abuse’ the emergency surgery service he operates. I wish I had done now though as I had a terrible night, waking up several times in bloody hack-erney. Oww!

It turns out that it is infected, like I thought. Seems I have found the new career I was looking for. I can be a dentist…once I get over the needle phobia, handling the sight of blood, the sight of gore…err…perhaps a dentist’s receptionist then. Yeah, that’s it. I can be rude and patronising to people with the best of them

He gave me some new anti-biotics (another lot 8-( ) and another letter for work. However, he told me that, dentists cannot do sick notes or official certificates and only doctor’s can. Bollocks to that eh. I then took all the letters and prescriptions to my GP, in order to get the required paperwork needed when having more than 7 days off work when you work for a local authority. Bloody unions must have had an off day there eh! I did come a whole lot closer to finding out why this is the case though…they charge you £10 for a bloody sick certificate. Nice work if you can get it if you ask me. Bit of a fucking liberty I reckon. A tenner! You could fly half way round the world with Ryan Air for that (excluding about 2 grand in taxes though).

He also put a ‘dressing’ on the infected area. Fucked if I know what that was about. I had visions of him sticking a mini plaster cast in my mouth 8-). That would have shut me up I suppose…well maybe not eh 8-). Weird that.

Now perhaps that could be a career. Acquire one of those dodgy doctorates from a magazine and set up a service providing sickies for a fiver. Yeah, that’s it. I could even get the union to sponsor it too…a small kickback may be needed for that but then it’s not what you know is it? I just need a name…hmm…how about Dr Charlatan. Got a nice ring to it don’t you think? Setting it up would even give me something constructive to do as opposed to sitting here writing my constant torrent of shite too. You know sometimes I really think I’m wasted doing what I do. I should have followed my first instincts and become a genius. Why I listened to that careers officer I’ll never know.

I am ‘signed off’ until Wednesday…looking back I probably should have got my tenner’s worth in hindsight…and to be honest I really want to get back to work as soon as, as I am seriously bored. What a sad fecker eh...the bald bloke WANTS to go to work. Is there any hope?

Something that did not help my current mood was yesterday’s NFL…bloody NFL. I hate the NFL…have I said that before blog buddies? Grrr. I did get a little bit back with a small bet on Tampa at Atlanta, as well as the profit from Barca on Saturday, so I did not do major damage. Similarly I am still a little bit in front for the season on the American Football. It does seem to be harder making money this season than in previous ones though that is for sure.

I have been reading Patrick’s (Vieira) book and, although the chapter on Manure was enlightening, it is not great. Standard stuff for a footballer. I know, I know. What did I expect from a footballer’s biography, ‘War and Peace’. Some nice little esoteric moments though for an old Gooner. His affection for ‘God’s Team’ does shine through though.

An excellent weekend’s racing too. I actually backed Kingscliff and Brave Inca for the Gold Cup and Champion Hurdle respectively at fancy prices ante post. Coupled with that I also bankered both of them on my 'Tens to Follow' along with Impek too. One snag though I’m afraid. I did all this…LAST YEAR…8-(. Talk about right place at the wrong time eh. Good to see Impek do the business for Hen and Jim Lewis though…accepting victory with the same undoubted class and good grace with which they equally accept adversity. It is so nice when ‘nice things happen to nice people’ dontcha think?

The Bethnal Green branch alerted me to as little poker event currently taking place in Monte Carlo. Shippy let me know that both Johnny Iannouh (fuck I hope I have spelt it right this time) and Richard Gryko are both in the last 30 or something for ‘huge bucks’ at a big WPT event. Fuck. Two former participants in my old home game at Chez Baldman have gone up in the world. When Mr Gryko came to my house, brought there by James Butler, he was not even old enough to enter a casino! He was wild but talented even then. I of course took him to one side, gave him a few pointers, and the rest, as they say, is history. Actually what really happened was that the little fucker took all my money. Bastard! Grrr! Today’s youngsters eh. No respect for their elders and balders. Johnny I…well he was a good mate but since being employed by the ‘anti-Christ’ and his merry band hasn’t bothered to pick up the phone in over three years. I understand he probably feels under pressure not to do so but disappointing nonetheless. I still maintained a close friendship with Sir Royston whilst he was 'taking the Gutshot shilling', to coin a phrase. I wish him well though. How mad would that be if he could stick it to the big boys? Well both of them to be honest but I always thought that the former has always had a huge competition win in him and it was only a matter of time, even with my limited knowledge of poker…oh fuck, have I just administered the bok? Hope not. The best of bald to you both.

That’s all you’re getting today kiddies…well what do you expect? I’m not a well man you know…and I’ve got a mouth infection too.

Stevie B

Special Trip

2005-11-20T22:52:00.000Z

Found a picture blog buddies.

Although it is not a particularly good one it is the only one we have at the moment.

Can't see its (dog's) bollocks either...sorry Jo 8-).

Like his brothers and sisters he has been schooling in Ireland and will be arriving on these shores in a week or two.

BB

Mr anti-biotic

2005-11-20T12:05:00.000Z

Still not too well blog buddies. I have had a couple of terrible nights and am due to see my dentist today at his emergency surgery. When I had dental surgery a number of years back I got an infection following it. I hope I am wrong but the current pain feels very similar. Not more bloody ant-biotics 8-(. Fingers crossed.

Well, what a judge eh? The first time that I have ‘gone against’ Wycombe all season and one of their most comfortable wins ensues 8-). Fortunately I kept the bald pennies in my fanny pack. It seems I should go against them more often eh? Top and still unbeaten though. So far so good.

I was also going to back the Arse yesterday, something I do not often do, but I thought they were a knock. However this was dependant upon team selection and when, somewhat incredulously, Le Boss decided to pick Cygan at left back I did not bother. A bit like finding out the horse you fancy has been assigned to a really bad jockey but more so, if that makes sense? Although we won I was not far wrong with my reasoning. Throughout the game Cygan was truly appalling. He spent the entire game being pulled out of position, I know he is a centre half but I thought that even his positional sense could not be that bad, constantly mis-kicking the ball, missing challenges and giving away a series of needless free kicks. Add to this that, along with the equally terrible Gilberto, he conspired to gift the all-important second Wigan goal. This in turn changed the game and, yet again, placed his teammates under pressure for the second half when 3-1 would have probably meant a different, and more comfortable second half. I would love to know how his teammates feel about this cretin. His regular selection cannot do much for Arsene's credibility amongst the players though surely?

The person I really feel sorry for though is any left back we currently have in our reserves. Cygan’s selection, albeit as out our 4th choice left back, has effectively told them that they have absolutely no future at the club. To pick, almost certainly, the worst central defender in the division (if you think I am exaggerating then please name me a worse one…take your time by all means) at left back means he has no confidence in them whatsoever.

Although Wigan are a tough side and can take a lot of credit for their performance, we were not playing Wimble-Chelski or the Manchester Red Sox so why not use one of our 'much feted' youngsters? That he did not tells me we should be worried. I think Le Boss has a real blindspot with the ‘Human Kryptonite’ and he seems to refuse to see what is so glaringly obvious to the rest of the world. At least Gilberto wasn’t the worst player on the field yesterday, as appalling as he was also. In the interest of balance, our midfield ball watcher, Gilberto did win a 50-50 tackle yesterday, in the 82nd minute. Hey, credit where due. Saw it with my own eyes I did too. I would love to be a fly on the wall in Mourinho or Fergusmoan's office when talking about these two incompetents. They must piss themselves laughing...yeah I know about Liam Miller too, unlike Gilberto, HE cost Manure nothing and was never a regular in the side.

On the plus side. Just how good was Titi? When (if?) he goes we are going to be in the biggest pile of steaming jobbies ever laid I tell you. I do not even want to think about it. What a wonderful moment when he 'gave it' to that egotistical incompetent piece of shit Graham Poll too. Absolutely loved it. And as for that free kick? How good was it. He just gets better and better. The board at THOF has to offer him anything he wants and I mean ANYTHING...although I think it may not be about money actually.

What of ‘Titi’s suitors’, Barcelona? Well I watched ‘El Classico’ last night from the Bernabéu and…wow fucking wow! I also availed myself of some 2-1 on Betfair but that was an irrelevance in the circumstances. The quality of their football was stunning to say the least. Although I take on board the media plaudits for 'Ronnie' Aldhino…when was the last time HE went to the dentist? Apparently he has the same one as Ronaldo…who really was fantastic, the player who excited me the most was the 18-year-old Argentinean International Messi. Apparently he played against England last week but I don’t watch international football so forgive me if it is old news. What a player this kid is. Fuck!

The media in this country go on about Pig Boy Rooney a lot (and quite rightly in most cases) but I can’t help thinking this kid Messi is ‘all that and then some’. How good can he be? Frightening I tell you.

There must be some kind of ‘European Office of Fair Trading’ or something to stop Barca getting Henry. It is not fair. They are too good already. Can’t we have a draft system or something? It’s not as if they need him or anything 8-( . I am really worried he will go. I mean who wouldn’t want to play for that team? Let us not forget that, but for over confidence in the first 10 minutes or so at Stamford Bridge, coupled with an illegal winner from Terry, that Barca would have beaten Chelski in last year's CL and, more than likely, won the competition. I don't know who will stop them this year though, if anyone. Probably a touch biased there though as I backed them at the start of the competition 8-)

Always good to see ‘Franco’s team’, with their bottomless pit of money from local government and big business, being thoroughly humiliated though…and believe me they were thoroughly humiliated. Do not forget that they were the 'original' Chelski, in terms of not having to 'earn' their success, long before Abromavich came on the scene.

The past week or so I have been sleeping in 3 ½ - 4 hour blocks, i.e. when the painkillers wear off and it has been a pain in the…err mouth really. Not very comfortable to be honest. However on Friday night / Saturday morning this was a real positive. Waking up for my latest ‘fix’ of the Dihydrocodeine I stumbled across a wonderful programme on E4 that had slipped under my ‘future viewing radar’. It was a concert from the Abbey Road studios featuring Grammy winning rapper Kanye West accompanied by a 17-piece string orchestra. Hip Hop with stings?…and how! It was a stunning performance too. It just worked so well. I have taped it, and subsequently taped it to audio too. If they repeat it, which they probably will, do yourself a favour and watch it/set your recorder. Outstanding.

A slight apology blog buddies. I have been told, by my main partner that we now have a different dog in the recent litter of greyhounds I have been writing about…wish they would have told me. Although the bitch (Callacopper) is still owned by John and I, the dog we are involved with is ‘Cookie’s brother’, Special Trip, although Dogolphin do still own 'Cookie' Still no picture. Sorry y’all, sorry Jo No reason to suggest that Special Trip will not have some equally impressive genitalia though eh? Picture coming soon. Always the last to know me 8-(

Anyways that’s it for me today.

Today’s NFL bets are Carolina –3 at Chicago and Jacksonville –4 at Tennessee.

I’m off to the dentists.

BB

It only hurts when I laugh

2005-11-18T19:25:00.000Z

Howdo again blog buddies.

I have had my sleep but am still very sore and tender…please don’t lower the tone eh…well any more than usual anyway.

I am pleased that I have finally had the tooth out though. I wanted it out on Tuesday, practically begged him in fact. However because of the swelling and the infection that the abscess had facilitated, it couldn’t be done.

The first thing I am looking forward to is some solid food. Similarly on Sunday, maybe Monday, eating some dead animal for the first time in over a week. Come on you know I’m weak I have told you often enough. At this stage though any solid food will do. I quite like soup but not every fucking day I’m sure you will understand. Not going to be throwing the straws away just yet though.

Another thing I am looking forward to is ‘laughing’…let me explain. I watched an episode of ‘Broken News’ last night, the spoof news show, with just a hint of ‘the Day Today’ / ‘On the Hour’ about it. I taped it on Monday night and I noticed it was not the first show in the series as well. Not sure how that slipped under my ‘comedy radar’. Anyhow I started watching it last night and thought it was very funny. The only problem with this was that unfortunately, due to the pain, abscess and swelling etc, laughing was both painful and uncomfortable. Isn’t the expression ‘it only hurts when I laugh’ 8-). Fuck it’s true! I may just wait for the reruns and do the whole series instead. Impressive piece of TV though. Definitely my kind of humour.

We now have a racing name for ‘Cookie’, the dog that will be racing under the ‘Dogolphin’ banner, and should be here in a week or two now. The racing name for the dog is ‘Concerto’. ‘Tif I know why. Personally I preferred Cookie. Mind you so long as the name is prefixed by the word Winner it probably doesn’t matter what they call it eh? No doubt I will think of some awful puns in time but not really up to it at the moment I'm sure you'll understand.

Anyway I will be seeing the partners on Tuesday week at the ‘Stow for the big Racing Post Festival Night. Thanks to the lovely people at Betfair…and of course John for his masses of commission 8-)…we have a corporate freebee on the night. Should be some absolute top quality canine action too. Looking forward to it. It will certainly give a whole new meaning to a doggie bag. Fully intend to get my 'money's worth' that is for sure 8-)

Although they are the only unbeaten professional team left in the country, could still live without all the bloody draws though, I have bad vibes about Wycombe tomorrow…all hail the bok eh. They are at home to Grimsby and, as well as all the injuries they have, and there are several key absentees in addition to the now departed Nathan Tyson, I just do not think the vibes coming out of the Chairboys camp are strong. I also think the absence of Stefan Oakes could be a real problem too. I do hope I am wrong, I really really do, but I can’t help thinking that the 13/5 about the Mariners, a team I believe offer the most serious threat to Wycombe’ title hopes, could be seen as very big this time tomorrow. I do hope I am not right. I really do.

Before that I have to go to the Arse’ in and choose my seat at the new stadium, this despite the fact that someone else will be sitting there. I have to do it and leave the obligatory deposit anyway. Wonder if I will get a tinge of regret when I pass it on? I doubt it to be honest.

I will hurry back to watch the Wigan V The Arse game on Sky…well I’m not going racing so I might as well. The big fear about the game for me is the terrifying prospect that, according to some sections of the tabloids, Cygan may be playing...as a left back (Nooooooooo!!!!!) in the absence through injury of Ashley Cole (if he wants to got to Real Madrid incidentally then let him can fuck off now quite frankly) and Gael Clichy (who was really starting to flourish with a long run in the side). Hopefully he will play Kolo there, I felt that it may have been a job for Emmanuel Ebbouie but he is injured too!!! You couldn’t make it up could you? So long as it is not Cygan we can probably cope…Cygan and Gilberto in the same team is just too much of a burden for the other players to carry.

How ridiculous is this, 'the end is nigh for Wimble-Chelski testicles' we have been subjected to lately. They lose two games and it the end. Yeah right. Let’s put it in perspective. They are still near certainties for the Prem. The Arse and Manure are still fighting for, a very distant, second place and, although it will be very close I think we may be slight favourites. Both of us will be miles behind Chelski and, despite their outstanding win last week Merchandise Utd are still nowhere good enough, as we are not either, to win the League. It was an excellent victory for them last week but over the last few years Utd have endorsed their reputation as the ‘cup team’ they now are on a number of occasions. The victories against the Arse last year, most notably slaughtering us in the final (albeit with the help of Arsene’s dodgy tactics) have proved this. The poor results that followed the great ones last year did likewise to affirm their 'cup team' label as well if you ask me.

Glad we cleared that up because I can’t help feeling the press have been getting carried away with 'the demise of Wimble-Chelski. I do feel that a big part of this is connected to their undoubted glee of seeing the thoroughly unlikeable Mourinho getting his buttons un-cuffed though. Such a lovely man...yeah right!

Back to the painkillers…we fancy one at Wimbledon tonight too so I'm off of back it and listen to another one of the truly awful dog commentaries on William Hill Radio. Sometimes I think the Wimbledon commentator does so from Walthamstow.

‘Gums’ Bennett

Waiting for the Tooth Fairy

2005-11-18T14:50:00.000Z

Ooooow....aaaaah....ooooh...eeeerrrr...OUCH!...aaaaaagh...tooth's out...bloody anaesthetic's wearing off too!

I'm going to bed 8-(...grrr

Did get some more painkillers though 8-)...whey hey!

Today's Torrent of Shite

2005-11-17T17:18:00.000Z

Hello again my little voyeuristic friends.

Less than 24 hours now and boy am I counting. Never thought I would actually look forward to a trip to the dentists but, seeing as I like sleep and food and do not care much for excruciating pain, it is definitely the lesser of 4 evils. Thank God for Dihydrocodeine that’s all I can say 8-(.

I have spent most of the day kipping, well broken sleep anyway, whilst ‘under the influence’ of said drugs to be honest. Best place to be too.

I have been messing around on the horses for small money the last few days, albeit mainly out of boredom…definitely the wrong way to go eh. To be truthful I have not done any great damage. In fact, but for a faller at the last yesterday when looking all over the winner, a horse that was certainly going to be placed at the very least, it could have been much better.

As well as backing said beast at 10 to be the victor of the opening contest, held at the faraway land of Hexham, the bloody thing also cost me a decent placepot…grrr. Like having teeth pulled it was…and I should know eh, or at least I will tomorrow.

I won a few quid today by messing around but opted to take my place in the ‘sleep in the afternoon because I’m fucked off at the pain stakes’. A middle distance race, held in Covent Garden restricted to those on Dihydrocodeine…8-) Just as well in the end too because the two horses I gave a squeak to, that were running during my drug crazed stupor, were not seen or sighted yaay. Always something very satisfying about not backing a loser you had intended to be on. Not as good as betting a winner but not far off.

I did read again today that Le Boss has reiterated that he believes he has a strong enough squad and he does not need to buy. I hope it is a case of ‘him protesting to much’ but I am really worried he is starting to believe this rubbish. I really hope not as nobody is fooled by the Champions League group and as soon as we play a team with a half way decent midfield we could be in real trouble.

Talking of ‘central midfielders’ Patrick’s snappily titled biography ‘My autobiography’ (footballers huh?) came out today so I popped into Waterstones in Oxford St on my way to Sainsburys...for more bloody soup 8-(...to procure my copy. I have read a couple of chapters so far and he is very nice about the Arse, as indeed he should be, and I am looking forward to some honest appraisals of people and situations that leaving both the THOF and the country will allow him to give. Once the anaesthetic has worn off I am going to get stuck into it over the weekend.

Good to see (Sir) Henry Cecil given an Award of Merit at last night’s Cartier Awards, a sort of flat racing ‘Oscars’ if you will. The rumours were/are that this is Henry’s final season as a trainer. In many ways, as I have said before, I do hope it is. I think now I know how some of my older contemporaries felt many years ago when they used to tell me how it broke their heart to see Jimmy Greaves playing for Barnet, albeit in slightly different circumstances. I think the only things Henry may be addicted to are shoes or possibly ties 8-). Despite his downturn in fortunes, both professionally and personally, over the last few years he is still one of the coolest fuckers ever to have walked the earth. My all-time racing hero bar none.

Just a short one for me today not really in the mod for blogging to be truthful.

That will more than likely not until Saturday now when I can have a good whinge about dentists and how expensive they are, the NHS, how ill I am still feeling, bloody Wycombe drawing again, Gilberto being outclassed by the Wigan midfield and all the work I have to catch up on that I missed this week…amongst other moans. Looking forward to it already when it is put like that…8-). I have joined the ranks of the GOM and how, eh blog buddies.

Does the tooth fairy still buy your old teeth from you? Hmm. Not sure I want an answer to that one actually.

Stevie B

Every time I try to get out they pull me back in…

2005-11-16T11:46:00.000Z

As Michael Corleone once said….8-)

Blog buddies. Other people get accused of being the Poker Bastard not sure how long the list is now... but I have been accused of being Baby Jane ! .in a new blog that has appeared recently that you can read here I don’t know who should be more insulted the Gutshot management, who the blog is aimed at, or me? I have done fuck all to put myself in the frame for this either!

As you will know I do not visit the Gutshot forum very often as, in addition to finding it cliquey and boring I have little interest in it. That is apart from the times it is libelling friends of mine or its’ MD is having an unprovoked pop at YT.

I am however sick and tired of some people using me, or my ‘Gutshot history,’ to make cheap points in their own vendettas against them. Have a bit of class for fuck's sake. If you have issues with someone then fine. Why do you have to involve me? That is almost as bad as the Gutshot MD telling lies about me to try to make himself look good, as happened a few months back.

From a post, that was pointed out to me on a recent thread, about being struck down by having ice picks inserted into my cranium, to the recent thread on the new blog mentioned above. I can only think that the former is some kind of reference to my being Trotsky in the face of the Stalinist way in which Gutshot often deletes posts…and as has been highlighted here before on several occasions they DO delete posts we all know that.

However if they want to delete threads on their forum let them, I feel they lost any credibility they may have had in this area long ago to be honest so I can hardly think anyone is still in any way surprised by it surely? However just don’t involve me eh.

I did think incidentally that the treatment of Dom Sutton, by that David Lloyd fellow, in the thread that I read, was very poor to say the least and, as such I have to agree with some of the criticism levelled at Gutshot in the blog piece. Nowt to do with me though, apart from having a lot of time for Dom.

The one thing the piece did do however was to…how shall I say…narrow down the field of suspects for the writer of this new blog. By the references to my locale and my extensive (obsessive?) video collection the writer has obviously been a regular visitor to Chez Baldman, and almost certainly a participant in one or more of my, now legendary. (I have a trumpet and I am going to blow it so there!) home games…hmm I wonder who that could be…2+2 equals…? I am sure you can work it out kiddies can't you?

I would like to state though that, if you have a gripe against Gutshot, or anyone for that matter, then fine. Say what you want and do what you want to do but why involve me. It really does show a distinct lack of class.

Similarly, I haven’t got the time to waste putting numerous posts on the Gutshot forum under an assumed name …oh hang on I have haven’t I or I wouldn’t be here now. Ok Bad example there 8-) but I am sure you know what I mean don’t you?

One of the things that I am proud about is that for all my issues with the people at Gutshot…and there have been, and still are, many…I have never involved anyone else in this. The biggest example being one of my best friends Simon Ship who not only plays at the Gutshot Club regularly but goes off to Vegas with them every year at WSOP time (splitter...Only kidding Shippy 8-)). If I have any arguments or gripes with someone then they are between 'thee and me',nobody else. I stopped the 'not being able to be friends with my enemies' shit in the playground at Primary School. Well I had to really I had started selling drugs you see and I couldn't risk alienating my client base.

Still a bit insulted that I have been accused of someone who is not only annoying but incredibly unfunny as well…I might be sad, bigoted and up my own arse most of the time but surely I am not as bad as this Baby Jane character…? Actually don't answer that.

Whether I am or not let me say this now. If you have a problem, gripe, vendetta or any kind of personal issues with anyone else. Please leave me the fuck out of it.

Bloody tooth is still painful. Still it's coming out Friday. The swelling has really gone down a lot so no problems on that score.

Until then...Pass the codeine..

I could get addicted to this stuff you know. Looks like I have found my obsession for Christmas early this year. 8-)

Baby Bald

Michael Moore, my molar and me

2005-11-15T21:02:00.001Z

Went to the dentist today and the upshot is that my offending molar is about to be history. However, because the swelling is still pretty bad the ‘day of departure’ for the tooth is going to be Friday. It can’t come soon enough for me. Either the drugs aren’t working as well now or it is more painful today than it has been? One thing’s for sure. It fucking hurts like hell blog buddies.

Apart from the trip to my orthodontist…I’m sure he used to be a dentist you know…it has been TV and DVDs all the way. Fuck I even played some online poker so bored was I…unsuccessfully I hasten to add. Not the greatest idea to play cards whilst under the influence of strong painkillers really.

I watched a documentary on Sky One last night entitled ‘Michael Moore and Me’. What it was, was a totally subjective, incredibly biased hatchet job on Michael Moore, on behalf of the Rupert Murdoch Network. Now I’ll be honest with you kiddies…and you don’t have to be sitting down for this either…I am a bit of a Michael Moore fan. Quel Surprise huh blog buddies? I have all the books he has written, all of his films and a number of his TV shows on tape, such as TV Nation and the Awful Truth. Yes I am fairly biased the other way and I fully admit it. I am a fan.

I am also open minded enough to accept that, at least some of the accusations levelled at Mr Moore may be true, although I suspect that most of it is probably a case of things being twisted in only the way journalists can. However I cannot help thinking that, due to the programme’s totally subjective nature, all it would/could have done was to piss off the likes of me, endorse the views of those who are anti Michael, the right wing lobby etc, and probably alienate any neutrals in the process.

I cannot help thinking however that when a documentary is so vitriolic and subjective that you are never going to recruit or change the mind of any floaters, or indeed anyone with a mind of their own really. For these reasons I found the programme to be very strange. To spend all that time and money trying, unsuccessfully I thought, to discredit someone whilst allowing little room for debate was a waste in my view.

And who did they get to present the programme. To try to convince the general public (bastards all of them if you ask me) that Michael Moore really is the anti-Christ… Isn’t that Barry Martin?…only one of the most odious individuals ever to join the profession of journalism. Janet Street-Porter. For those of you ‘under a certain age’, I.e. a few years younger than me…fuck that brings in a lot of people eh…During the height of her television career she was consistently voted as one the most unpopular and disliked people on TV and was…well horrible frankly. On the other side of the coin the fact that she was a talented journalist and very intelligent woman is not in dispute. However that she is a particularly nice person was a matter for major conjecture and then some. Not after the populist vote then which begs the question, what were Sky after?

So let’s recap. You want to make a programme convincing the public that they should form a negative opinion about a person, actually in parts demonise, an individual. You do so in a personal, subjective and, at times, vitriolic manner…and who do you get to present it? A thoroughly horrible and unpopular individual. I would love to know how much this show cost and how much she was paid though. Real head scratching stuff.

I did have to laugh though. One of the things underpinning the show was JSP’s quest to get an interview with Moore. Well I have to tell you that, even if she was doing a positive piece on him, I doubt that he would never want to meet this woman regardless of her agenda she was probably on a loser from the start. There was one point, whilst she was in the street where she believed Moore's New York appartment to be, when she asked a local a question about him. When she was rebuffed she let out a tirade of foul mouthed expletives about the person that made me cringe. What a dreadful person.

A shame really because I would genuinely like to have seen an objective exploration of some of the points raised. I really do not want to be a blind supporter of anyone…weeeell maybe the Arse’ but I’m sure you can excuse me that can’t you kiddies 8-)…and this programme made sure not to do this, instead preferring to take the ‘personal route’ usually favoured by the Station Owner’s print media interests.

Still good to see Mr Murdoch not using his television stations for his own agenda eh…again!

What else has been rankling with a miserable, whining, stir crazy, old bald man this very day?

Good to see A-Rod (Alex Rodriguez) being voted the American League MVP (read player of the year) as voted for by the U.S. sports journalists. The big debate since the season ended was who was going to get this award, A-Rod or David Ortiz of the (hated) Red Sox. The latter however is a ‘DH’ (designated hitter), which in effect means half a player, as he does not field. A-Rod on the other hand is a phenomenal fielder and has several ‘Gold Gloves’, an award given to the best fielders in the league, to prove it. A 'full player'.

50 home runs in a season for a right handed batter whilst playing half of it at Yankee Stadium is a huge achievement in itself. For those not familiar with the ‘House that Ruth built’ it strongly favours left-handed batters. Alex had a season of Mickey Mantle proportions…just a shame some of his teammates could not reciprocate really. Mickey Mantle, along with the 'Yankee Clipper' Joe DiMaggio, was probably the greatest ever Yankee. Joe D, one of the greatest ball players to ever live (many thought THE best)and he got to shag/marry Marilyn Monroe and hang around with Sinatra too…fuck how cool was he?

I do understand some people’s annoyance that Ortiz was overlooked; such was his importance and influence to the Red Sox. Let’s be fair, and never let it be said that I cannot be fair and balanced when discussing Red Sox scumbags...err players. I am fully aware that loser’s are people too 8-).There you see? Giving the MVP to a part time player is, to me, the equivalence of giving the CY Young award to a relief pitcher of maybe giving a Football Writers Player of the Year Award to a player who did not even play 20 full games in a season. Oh hang on they did that already actually didn’t they with Daveeeeed Fellova? Bad example but you know what I mean dontcha? Great added bonus to piss off all the Boston Red Sox fans as well…yaaay. We DO like that too.

Well I am getting back to the ‘bottle’. No the anti-biotic and painkiller bottles of course. Loads of dog action on the custard tonight but I will probably give it a miss. I have almost finished the ‘Tilt’s’ so I will probably just finish them off. As I have said before, not bad but not great. I wouldn't be rushing to buy Series 2 if they make one...unlike the Wire, the Sopranos or Oz.

Bored and bald and still in pain.

Night night boys and girls

Just call me Mr Codeine

2005-11-14T19:18:00.000Z

Let us Pray...only 135 days to the Festival.

Where to start today blog buddies?

Well my bloody tooth (teeth?) is still hurting and then some. The swelling has gone down quite a bit but it only hit me just how much it was swollen originally by the reaction of a colleague of mine this morning when I went into work. She was at great pains to let me know just how awful I looked…thanks for that I thought.

As previously mentioned I did go into work but I did not stay very long. I organised all the paperwork, forms, participants etc for the patrols and then went home…well was almost sent home actually. It was easier to do that than make lots of phone calls explaining it really so I just went in and did it. What a hero I am eh. Worth a pay rise I reckon 8-).

I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon with my dentist so will know more then. As I have said the anti biotics have certainly taken the swelling down a bit, although it still needs to come down a load more though. The painkillers too are pretty good…that is if you call not knowing what day it is ‘pretty good’. Better than being in pain though if you ask me.

What of the weekend? Well as I remarked upon yesterday Saturday was a strange day. Wonderful racing, a beautiful autumn day, bright sunshine, a great seat in the Annual Members stand, the same seat I have for all 4 days of the Festival this year, and several winners. This however was happening in parallel to feeling like shit 8-(.

As well as my nice 8-1 ante post voucher on Our Vic I also had decent size bets on ‘Not Left Yet’ at 3.5 (SP 15-8) and ‘Standin Obligation’ at 3.3 (SP 7-4). I thought both of them looked to be thrown in at the weights and had all the hallmarks of Pipey-David Johnson coups. I also had a decent each way bet on Control Man at 12-1, which despite some decidedly dodgy jumping finished third. If they can sort out its’ jumping it could be a Welsh National horse. Not sure I would be steaming in to back it until I see proof that it can improve its' fencing. On the subject of jumping, although Our Vic did jump pretty well on Saturday, I definitely want to lay it at the currently ridiculous quoted prices for the Hennessey that is for sure. Confidence can be a brittle quality in a chaser sometimes and I cannot help thinking that a couple of early mistakes in said race could send it back to square one. And at that price it is not for me. Besides I still feel it could have been very interesting had Redemption stood up. I got a text from the Gent who told me he was on Redemption. I believe the approriate phrase here would be 'Marvellous'. Bad luck there mate.

Despite all of the winners I backed over the two days, for me, the most impressive winner over three days was one I did not back. I was extremely impressed by Trevor Hemmings’ French acquisition Crozan on Friday. I think the race it won will prove, in time, to be have been a pretty tasty contest. Not sure it would definitely be a Sun Alliance horse though. Nicky Henderson has taken the Cathcart route at the Festival on more than one occasion with his novice chasers with a similar profile to Crozan. Stormyfairweather being the most recent example. It is well known what a great record the French bred chasers have in Festival handicaps around the 2-½ mile mark too. Definitely one for my notebook with one eye on March. Over to the handicapper. It will be interesting to see what he makes of it?

By the same token I was equally impressed by a Festival contender that ran at Navan in Ireland on Sunday. Eddie O’Grady’s O’Muircheartaigh…a fuck of a great score in scrabble but just don’t ask me to pronounce it whatever you do. Having its’ first run over hurdles it pulled like a train, didn’t do a tap in front, idling pretty badly, and still gave a field of Grade 3 hurdlers an absolute running lesson. Usually 8-1 for a horse in the Supreme Novices Hurdle at this stage is not a price to take but seeing as ‘Sadblokes’ are going only 5-1 they seem to agree with my assessment. He very much reminds me of ‘Back in Front’ and seeing as its’ next test is going to be in the Royal Bond perhaps Eddie O’Grady feels the same way by mapping out an identical campaign for his latest young hurdling star. Not sure it beat a lot but I was very impressed by the performance. I have had a little bit of the 8’s…but then you knew that didn’t you 8-)

What else happened on Saturday…oh yeah. I bumped into Martin Farragher at Cheltenham Saturday. Always good to see ‘Gripper’ though. He was at Cheltenham ‘filling in for his boss’, who was unable to attend a ‘corporate’ in the Hatton's Grace Suite as a guest of Paddy Power. What a trouper eh 8-). Life is so hard sometimes. I was pleasantly surprised to get a telephone call whilst at the track (most people try to AVOID me at a racetrack!) and we met up for a good chinwag.

Bastard never came through with the doggie bag I asked for though. It was all free and I'm sure they would never have missed it. That’s the trouble with some people. They move up in the world and forget all about the little people. I would have even held his coat and doffed my cap too if he had come through 8-(. Actually that would now have been the last solid meal I had eaten 8-(. Are you feeling pleased with yourself now...well are you? Eh?

Martin's horse, Limerick Lord, that he co-owns with his Dad, ran at Naas on Saturday too in a beginners chase. Running on into third, without having a particularly hard race it appeared, in a decent enough contest was a very encouraging first run over fences over, what looked like an inadequate two miles. I actually backed the winner of the race Mansony for the County Hurdle at last year's Festival before it was withdrawn so I think the winner is a decent tool. It also finished second to Essex in last year's Pierse Hurdle so a pretty decent horse to be beaten by I'm sure. The 2 and a half mile novice handicap chase at the Festival beckons...???? Very interesting. I haven't spoken with him since but it did seem to be a very pleasing first run over the larger obstacles. Fingers crossed for you sir. Bet he doesn't ring me in March after this though. I may have to bring my own sandwiches even. 8-(

Wycombe maintained their unbeaten record, the only unbeaten team in the country now, but drew again. Grrrr. They did come from behind but this was their 10th draw in 17 league games 8-(. I can't help thinking they may begin to regret some of these draws later in the season. Nathan Tyson has now gone to Forest but I still think that they can cover this end of the field and a keeper and centre half is more of a long term priority at the moment. They have just, fortunately, signed one of the former in Iain Turner who is on a month's loan from Everton. Hopefully this loan signing will stay fit unlike the last loan keeper they acquired.

Mind you in League one…League one?…in the ‘Third Division!' both Huddersfield and Brentford got back to winning ways. Approaching the half way mark of the season I am happy enough with these two bets I have, although the size of the latter's squad is still a slight worry for me. The least said about Gillingham however the better. It is looking entirely possible that I could have backed a team for the title that may end up getting relegated. What a judge eh? 8-)

The journey home from the ‘Holy City’ on Saturday evening/Teatime/Dinnertime/late afternoon…depending upon how you look at these things 8-) was a particularly unpleasant one I have to say. I had to stop twice to take some Ibuprofen and Oil of Cloves, as I explained yesterday. It was pretty horrible too. Mind you stopping off at Sainsburys and buying a load of food was, in hindsight, a tad optimistic. Anybody got a blender? Still the soup did come in handy. Likewise the straws I bought. Groan!

So here I am feeling sorry for myself, wallowing in self-pity, doped up to the eyeballs on super nutter turbo bastard codeine…whey hey. There's the silver lining…been flying around the room all afternoon too kiddies.

I have started watching the ‘Tilt’ series in earnest this weekend. Although it is not The Wire or Oz…the 4th and 5th series are ‘on order’, I think it is ok. A bit clichéd maybe but well worth watching nonetheless. Being indoors for a couple of days I have watched 5 of the 9.

Off to the dentists tomorrow. To be honest I just want him to sort it so hopefully I can get whatever needs to be done quickly. I am not a lover of needles, an understatement if there ever was one but after that is done I have no problem with the dentistry itself. I suppose to use a ‘Seinfeldism’ I am not an ‘anti-dentite’ but rather an anti-needlist 8-).

I am not a great patient to be honest. I just want to get it sorted, get out of the house and get back to work. I hate sitting around doing nothing.

In the meantime I shall sit here whingeing and crying like a big girl. So no change there then!

Oooowww!

Ooooowwww!

2005-11-13T19:51:00.000Z

I have been having a couple of days off from blogging comrades. The main reason for this is that it turns out that the ‘toothache’ I have been bitching about (like a girl actually) was not a toothache but a bloody abscess…and fuck me it is horrible. I woke up in bloody hackney...sorry agony...I always get those two confused, yesterday morning and it just got worse to tell the truth.

Apart from the mouth I had a really good day, not least financially (good old Vic eh), at Cheltenham yesterday (more of which later in the week) but after a nightmare journey home I felt like crap. I had to stop in a lay by…no nothing untoward, please…to take some painkillers and ‘shovel on’ the Oil of Cloves. The drive home was uncomfortable to say the least. I will write more about the day when I feel a bit better.

Painful it most certainly is too 8-(. I was referred to the emergency dental service at the UCH today. The dentist took some x-rays and he thought it was an abscess. To be honest my cheek and gums were so swollen it was not easy to get the, portable x-ray in my mouth…and we all know how big that is don’t we blog buddies?

Oh…and after going to the centre stocked up for the long haul. Book, the ‘Eggs on Toast’, reading glasses, bottle of water, CD Walkperson (women listen too comrades. Fight sexism at Sony!) amongst other goodies. I was forced to wait exactly…err actually I wasn’t. They saw me straight away. Fuck. Bloody NHS. You can’t even rely on them to be crap. I was really looking forward to a good moan too…”I don’t pay my taxes for this…my family didn’t avoid National Service in 2 World Wars for this kind of thing…etc etc. Bollocks. Great service though. I phoned NHS Direct last night and they referred me…had to wait two hours for them to get back to me though. Two hours? Bloody NHS eh!

The dentist gave me a prescription for some anti-biotics and some fuck off strong painkillers. He wasn’t joking about that either. I don’t know about “do not operate machinery” it should say, “May cause brain damage”. Can’t feel any pain though or my gums…or teeth, hands, legs…err nothing really… Fuck. Where am I? Sorry? Do I know you?

He told me if is still giving me pain in a couple of days then I should go to my own dentist. I hope there is no need to do that I have to say, although currently my face looks like the fucking ‘Elephant Man’. No. Even more than usual. “I am not an animal, I am just bald”

On top of that I have to go to work tomorrow as well. It is the first day of the National Truancy Sweeps, read Government led, high profile patrols taking place countrywide for the next three weeks…and as the council’s Crime and TRUANCY Officer, well just gotta be there. I really am a martyr aren't I kiddies? Camden will erect a statue of me one day don’t you think? In a park somewhere I reckon. Well something’s got to keep the pigeons away I suppose.

Haven't eaten in two days either...save for a bowl of soup via a bloody straw! Perhaps I'll lose some of the weight I put on in the States. There's the silver lining I knew there had to be one 8-)

I’m going back to wallowing in the river of self-pity kiddies…or floating if these painkillers have anything to do with it.

All sympathy on a postcard to the usual address.

John Merrick

A bad day at the races is still better than a good day at work

2005-11-11T21:49:00.000Z

Off to Cheltenham today blog buddies…well eventually anyway.

Not the best day I will ever encounter here. It started off pretty badly and did not hit the heights I usually associate with this charming venue.

I have had a toothache for a few days, nothing too serious I think, probably a filling or something. Mildly painful and annoying, especially at meal times. However last night, and this morning, it hurt like hell. Waking up to this was not the best start to the day. Similarly, as a result of this I overslept…although the latter may have had more to do with strong painkillers and too much Oil of Cloves. Who said I don’t do drugs eh 8-)

Running around like a nutter I packed up my stuff and rushed out of the door. However when I decided to stop to fill up the baldsmobile at Park Royal I realised I had left my cardholder containing all of my credit cards etc at Chez Baldman. “Damn and blast it”, I said…or something like that anyway. The long trek home through the Central London traffic was not a short one boys and girls. Bollocks to that. I cannot remember EVER leaving a wallet behind before.

After sequesting said cardholder from home it was now time for a mad dash up the A/M40. Having been (obsessively) early…as ever 8-)…I was now very late.

I also had two to back at Wimbledon…do I really need to tell you? I think they are still looking for them. Even when we do lose at the ‘Don we are always there or thereabouts and often unlucky. Not today. Beaten out of sight. Every chance and no excuses. I listened to them on the ‘dog’ but others also confirmed this. Oh dear. A bad omen?

I (finally) got to the outskirts of the ‘Holy Town’ and, as I was late and being aware of heavy traffic I decided to take the shortcut through several villages and over the back of Cleeve Hill. I know it is a good short cut as I have done it several times with Alex the Gent, for it is his short cut. However The Gent was travelling to the meeting with a friend today via a different route. “How hard can it be”, thought I. “I’ve done it before…” .So off I went…well of course I got lost. What the hell did you expect? I actually missed the all important turnoff from the country lanes. It wasn’t as if it was signposted or anything though…oh hang on. It was actually. I found that out when I doubled back after realising I must have gone too far. Doh! Finally, after making another wrong turning, albeit a short one, I got to the track, after following a BMW whose passengers I thought were a ‘dot’ to be racing people. Fortunately I was correct. After a long, eventful and shit journey I arrived at the track.

Despite all the mishaps, and due to some mad driving, there were still a couple of minutes to the first contest. How—eeeevrer the bloody Annual Members Car Park was full up, or so I was told. As I was being ushered further and further away from the fast disappearing stands it was time to throw my toys out of the pram and give it some of the “My family didn’t…Do you know who I am! Well maybe not exactly that but you know what I mean dontcha kiddies? In doing so this I think I scared the shit out of this poor young car park attendant. Realising what I had done I reined myself backed in a bit. Poor fucker. It wasn’t his fault really was it? However our young yellow-coated chum had already (fearfully?) opened up a rope for me, albeit still a long way from the entrance. Aah fuckit I thought, and after a quick shufty and not seeing any attendants cut across several rows and back up towards Tatt’s. Although there were no spaces, save for the Trainers and Jockey Club Officials section where there were loads (grrr), in the end I was able to park right by the entrance albeit on the ‘road’. As I parked up I heard the dulcet tones of ‘Cat’ calling the runners of the first race home from the 3rd last.

Oh well at least I had arrived even though I was thoroughly pissed off.

Things actually started quite well. My bet of the day, and only ‘real’ bet to be honest, won. Even there I had missed the ‘scruffy and dirty’ (100/30) on offer with ‘Sid James’ last night. Mind you knowing them it was probably only there for a bout 10 minutes. Refusing their counter offer of ‘elef a rouf’ (11/4) I also spurned the 3.95 on the machine…primarily because I was a greedy stupid bastard really. When I woke up this morning it was 3.6 and I eventually backed it at bottle and a half. Bollocks. Still, after the day I had been having a pleasant surprise. At least it won eh. It did make a terrible blunder at the last when clear though but managed to just about get up the hill…can you imagine the scream up I would have been having then???? 8-).

The rest of the day well, apart from getting absolutely soaked in a downpour after going to my car to get onto Betfair via the laptop…that I was unable to do anyway because the reception was so poor, it really was one of those days, was fairly uneventful. I met up with the Gent and his racing companion for a tea and doughnuts...the ahem doughnuts were all for me I have to say 8-). I still have that ‘holiday feeling’ where food is concerned at the moment I’m afraid. Always a pleasure to share Cheltenham time with Alex though. I am not sure how he will feel about today mind you as he is due in work at 2.30 am for the cricket. Ouch. That’s gotta hurt surely!

After a 90-minute drive and a lot of traffic too, having been sent the wrong way by a member of the Gloucestershire constabulary. I was not sure where I was to be honest. One, because I was not at my usual exit and, two, because I was staying over the night and was going a different way. I finally got to my hotel…about 3 miles away just over an hour and a half later! Still at least if that cretin is on traffic duty he is not in the community trying to catch criminals so the people of Cheltenham have something to be thankful for. What a dick!

Arriving at said hotel, where incidentally they gave me the wrong key for my room. Bewleys all over again eh. Mind you this time the key just did not fit unlike the Bewleys giving me a key for someone else’s room. 8-(It really was ‘one of those days’. I finally got the ‘right key’ and had a quick shower and change, popped out for something to eat and came back to the room for a ‘study up’ of tomorrow’s racing. And if I find something I like on Betfair tonight I WILL take the price.

Still a bad day at the races IS still better than a good day at work. Ain't that the truth eh kiddies?

Full steam ahead for tomorrow. I already have some 8’s about Our Vic so that is a nice start. I think the value has gone out of it now though. I do think that Vic’s task is simple to be honest. If it jumps it wins…but that could be a big ‘if’. If anyone can get him back though ‘Pipey’ can that’s for sure.

Night night blog buddies

STOP PRESS
Had one to back at the ‘Don and it has just shit home at ‘Nut’ (9/4)…yaaay. I have a good feeling about tomorrow. Well you have to really don’t you 8-)

Not long now eh?

2005-11-10T21:27:00.000Z

The bastards wouldn't let us call it Oi Oi Callacopper for some reason so Callacopper it is then.

Click here for the bitch.We will need to get a picture up there though won't we?...coming soon blog buddies.

And of course not forgetting Cookie Not sure if that wil be its' racing name yet. That will be up to the head of the Dogolphin...still love that name... syndicate and breeder Gary.

The litter's half brother, Special Deal a January '04 whelp who is still a puppy, has just won a pretty decent open race at the 'Stow in 28.90 this evening...would be nice if ours are half as good as that eh?

Fuck...I will have to start paying training bills soon 8-). Now I am really depressed. Can't wait until the bitch goes into season too 8-(...do you think I will be able to sell them NOW?

My dog, my dog, a Sun Ra DVD for my dog 8-)

The beginning of the end?

2005-11-10T20:12:00.000Z

Well who’d have thunk it eh. Labour politicians standing up for people’s freedoms and civil liberties! Shame it didn’t happen 12 years ago. Maybe then I might not have left the Party…then again maybe not. Thank God we did not go the whole hog down the way of the fucking 'Patriot Bill' in the U.S.

Still good to see Bliar getting his narcissistic arse kicked though, the odious, sell-out, evil, warmongering, ‘Bush arse licking’ callous, piece of lying scumbag shit…did I go too far you think Blog Buddies? All right, I’ll take back the ‘evil’ then. Better?

Mind you not much will change with Brown will it? Still a right laugh though watching Bliar squirm. Small pleasures and all that eh.

I remember when Blair got elected to leader of the party like it was yesterday actually...that's senility for you. The week it was announced I won a right few quid on the result, thanks to an early tip from none other than Frank Dobson, and just under two weeks later, being pretty confident what to expect, I left the party. Although I had no idea he would sell out the party to the extent he has to be honest.

Watched the ‘Old Firm’ game last night on BBC Scotland. Firstly, not having seen one since Setanta took over from Sky, I have to say that the standard of the game, and the two teams, was awful. So bad was the fare on offer that John Hartson actually looked like a footballer…no honest. Despite this though the Bhoys were still way too good for the Huns…have you guessed MY allegiances in this quaint little sectarian custom of vitriol yet? I did place a few ‘English’ pounds on the outcome of said ‘futba’ contest too, so that was nice. No prizes for guessing where the bald pennies were placed of course.

And as for Stefan Klos…well let’s just say that ‘Dodgepot’ Lehman’s place in the German squad looks extremely safe and certainly explains a lot. I know he is just coming back from injury but he was hugely at fault for both goals…’it’s behind you’. The pantomime season started early in Glasgow last night. Oh No it didn’t…sorry. I’ll get me coat eh?

Towards the end though there was truly a wonderful commentary moment when the cameras panned the touchline to find a, yellow police type jacketed, Annabel Goldie, the new leader of the Scottish Tories…no not ‘Tartan Tories' thems the SNP…the 'Scottish Tories'. They do exist honest. He then said. “Alex McCleish will be pleased to know there ARE harder jobs in Scotland”. What a classic 8-). Don’t know the guy’s name I’m afraid but quality commentating.

Got my membership renewal for Sandown today and was duly informed that ‘2005 Sandown Annual Members can get a special discount of £25 for the Premier Enclosure for this year’s ‘Kempton’ event the King George…’. What the f….Hang on! We were led to believe that all the Kempton meetings were going to be a bonus for Sandown (and the other tracks that took them) members and now they sneak this little gem under the door. Haven’t these people learnt anything from the ‘Ascot Experience?’ I love the way they tell you it will almost certainly sell out, although they neglected to mention that Kempton have no members of their own at the moment…and I should know because I was one/will be one when it reopens probably. I have not missed a 'King George' for years but am seriously thinking of changing my outbound flight to Ireland in order to have all 4 days at Leopardstown for the Xmas Festival instead of the 2 I have booked up already…I actually typed ‘boked’ there by mistake 8-). Freudian slip or what? I really hope they come unstuck big time as Ascot did, most notably at Newbury, for their very own 'King George' and Newmarket for the Festival of Racing.

Still no e-mails about the Sun Ra documentary you bunch of bastards. Someone must have it…how to win friends and influence people eh? As the boss character said in the wonderful recent new series of ‘The Smoking Room’, “All people are bastards”. Well she’s got a point. I shall just have to scour the Radio Times every Tuesday. Either that or get a life I suppose.

Off to Cheltenham tomorrow kiddies. No matter how many times I go to Prestbury Park, and it must be getting on for a couple of hundred now, I still get a little tingle when setting off from home and again when walking through the gates. Long may it continue too. I couldn’t bear the day I do not feel that way. I am going up for tomorrow and Saturday. I don’t think I am going to stay for Sunday, although I may change my mind. Either that or go to Fontwell Sunday instead. I may let the weather decide. If it is raining as forecast and the track is a quagmire…is it possible for something other than a football pitch to Be a quagmire?…never mind…then I might give to a miss.

I am going to enjoy this weekend too as I have a very busy three weeks coming up at work…hmm where is the phone number for my union rep’. Well we can’t have that can we?

When next we speak I shall be at prayer in the Holy City of Cheltenham blog buddies.

Wish me luck

BB

An Impassioned plea

2005-11-08T20:09:00.000Z

Post number 150 eh...doesn't time fly when you're a self indulgent dick?

About a year ago, it may have been a bit longer actually, I watched (yet another) stunning documentary on BBC4. It was about the life and times of singer/songwriter, musician, jazz legend, poet, novellist. magazine columnist, civil rights activist, and also thought by many to be the, Godfather of Rap, Gil Scott-Heron. A real renaissance man, very much modelled on Langston Hughes his hero when growing up.

Incidentally Gil Scott Heron’s dad played for Celtic and was the first black footballer to play in Scotland. He was nicknamed, somewhat lazily as,’ The Black Arrow’. Wonder how long it took them to think of that one eh? It’s true that as well. Nothing to do with this entry but just a little fact to keep all the anoraks going. I don't half know some bollocks you know.

For those of you who do not know Gil’s work he has influenced a generation of musicians and rappers alike. Compositions such as ‘The Revolution Will not be Televised’, ‘The Bottle’, a huge club hit about the damaging effects of alcohol and how it ruins lives, ‘B Movie’ his take on the election of Ronald Reagan, and ‘Home is where the Hatred is’, a (auto-biographical?) story of drug addiction, are classics in their own right. Similarly, poems such as ‘Whitey on the Moon’, a poignant comment on inner city life at the time of the moon landings and ‘Sex Education Ghetto Style’ are, along with 'The Revolution will...', nothing if not the very seeds of the more positive aspects of modern day hip hop.

So good was the programme that in the first fortnight of its’ screening I watched it three times. A truly magnificent piece of television.

Several months later I was in the Bank of Friendship, a pub within a El Hajj Diouff gob away from the Home of Football, with my DJ friend (everyone should have one I think) Gilles Peterson and Gilles’ good mate Rob Gallagher, former Galliano front man and co-founder of the excellent ‘Two Banks of Four'. Named incidentally after the oft uttered Terry Venables phrase of Euro ’96. We were Standing out in the garden of said hostelry when I was introduced to the person who made the documentary, whose name rather embarrassingly eludes me now…what an ignorant bald wanker eh? After shaking the guy’s hand and, what I believe young people like to call ‘bigging him up’, I was told that the same person was in the progress of making a documentary about the Jazz, nay Human, legend that is Sun Ra. Oooh, thought I. Can't wait for that.

I wouldn’t say that Sun Ra influenced a generation of musicians and music lovers alike because he has influenced SEVERAL generations. For me Rolling Stone Magazine put it best when they described Ra (real name...well 'birth name' anyway, Herman Sonny Blount) as ‘The Missing Link between John Coltrane and Public Enemy’. Although Ra claimed he was from the planet Saturn.

And to think I thought George Clinton, he of P-Funk, was unique and original. How little did we young disciples of funk really know? If you ever see a picture of Ra you will know what I am talking about here. Mr P Funk stole more than James Brown's backing band methinks.

Now those of you who know me will know just how much I revere this genius… and that is the correct phrase make no mistake. In the late 50’ and early 60’s Sun Ra had full publishing rights for his songs. You make think that is not unusual but bear in mind that he was a black man in Alabama in the late 50’s! You could not even walk down half of the streets in safety in Alabama as a black man at that time. Having your music played on the radio (wireless?) was like winning the lottery but Ra had full control of his music and destiny.

To let you into a secret the ring tone on my mobile is actually the title song from 'Space is the Place', the avant-garde film of the same name, written, directed by and starring Sun Ra. Who needs Crazy Frog when you can have a bit of left field jazz eh…what a pretentious wanker eh 8-).

Mike Walsh describes the film thus "...The movie has a cosmic humor, and like Sun Ra it is at times fascinating, indecipherable, and absurd" Top man...well 'being' anyway 8-)

After scanning the Radio Times religiously for weeks and months looking for this documentary I found out today the bastards showed it whilst I was in America. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggghg! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggh. Bollocks. Bollocks. Bollocks. Bollocks. Bollocks.

I only found out today and to tell you how I need to go back a bit in time. Several months ago a new mobile phone shop and Internet café opened in Camden High St. Nothing unusual there I hear you say and you’d be right…you smart arse bastard.
I got to know some of the guys who worked there, and am a regular visitor. A while back I had them get a hold of a number of ring tones for me. They managed to get most of them but had a lot of trouble downloading several Sun Ra tracks. A number of people had them but were refusing to release them. Finally I took some of my own CD’s in and had ring tones made out of them. The guy charged to undertake this task himself listened to the CD’s several times and was curious and intrigued by someone he had not encountered before…still the best buzz there is turning someone on to something really good that they had not experienced before isn’t it?

Therefore when he saw the documentary was on recently he watched it and thought it was outstanding and that Sun Ra was an incredible man.

Fast forward to this afternoon. I popped in to see one of his colleagues who is getting me some things for my computer. As soon as he saw me he mentioned that the documentary had been on in the last few weeks, several times he said, and he asked ‘Did I watch it’. Well obviously I did not and this is where you come in my little blog buddies…Fuck I thought he’d NEVER get there didn’t you? If any of you, or anyone you know, taped this programme can you please please please please please please please let me borrow it. I can be reached at stevie.bennett1@btopenworld.com
Many thanks in advance. I can pick it up and deliver it from anywhere and, if you have it on VHS, I am even prepared to put it on DVD for you. Well I have to start playing with my new toy sooner or later. I have had it long enough 8-).

They may show it again soon on BBC4, as is their wont, but I have checked next week’s listings already and it is not on then. I just have to see it I am sure you will understand.

I leave you with this impassioned plea boys and girls and hope you can assist me. I will even grant sexual favours for the person who can help. I promise never ever to have sex with you! There you go you can’t get a bigger favour than that believe me.

If you would like to find out more about the great man
have a read of this... and especially this.. ...and maybe this?

Similarly if you want a good read check out Space is the Place: The Life and Times of Sun Ra by John F Szwed. One of my favourite books of all time.

There ARE other worlds

Night Night

What a judge

2005-11-07T20:48:00.000Z

Well it shows what a judge I am. Much like Andy Ward I thought Wimble-Chelski were good things at the Theatre of Prawn Sannies. However, unlike Andy, and due to my ridiculous, petty, irrational biases I did not risk any of my hard earned, as I could not stomach the thought of profiting from such ‘immorality’. You see being a small minded, petty bigot does have its' advantages sometimes!

Nice to see Jose displaying the usual good grace and magnanimity for which he has become famous though. What a nice man eh? Gotta love one of the most negative coaches in the Prem’ calling someone else boring and defensive. Fuck off eh. What the hell is Fergusmoan supposed to do? Stick 4 up front against a superior team? Like you did at Porto Jose? The only reason I do not want the Arse’ to do things like that is because we are incapable of doing so, witness the dreadful display at Cardiff in May. Forget about the trophy we were arsehole lucky and, more to the point produced our worse performance of the season to boot because we just cannot play defensively. I like the way we play but to be honest we haven't got much choice. Probably why we have little chance of winning the CL though. If you can play it tight do so. Especially if it pisses off Jose eh? Talk about the pot and the fucking kettle eh? Oh and let’s not forget this is coming from someone who has so many players and so much money, nay unlimited money actually, that he could play any way he wanted and still win the Prem’. What a loathsome little man Mourinho is.

I do not think that yesterday’s result will matter one jot in the final analysis as I agree they were the better side, and are still the best team in the Prem' if truth be told. The trouble is though if you do not put your chances away you have only yourself to blame...or is Jose looking for Graham Pollscum to hand Chelski another load of dodgy decisions. Probably. However it was good for people to see Jose’s true colours. I know that Arsene’ and ‘Old Red Face’ have been guilty of similar in days gone by but even those two have not been anywhere near as disingenuous and downright un-sportsmanlike as that.

Made out like a bandit in the NFL last night. My biggest bet of the season, Carolina at Tampa, coming through for me…you know I suddenly like the NFL again. I really can’t think what possessed me to denounce it the way I did recently. Oh hang on; yes I can…losers that was it. Aren’t I fickle blog buddies? Baseball season starts in less than 5 months anyway 8-)

I have been really getting into my new ‘Soul Gospel’ CD in the last two days. Rather topically there was a bit on the Simpsons last night when the family went into a Gospel church that was rocking (not another sign? It’s a coincidence.). Upon encountering the wild singing and dancing in said church Bart uttered the wonderful line, “Awesome. Black God”. I have to say it really summed up my recent ‘New Jersey visitation’ in my one line. What a show. It just never gets tired or worn. It would be good to know just how many writers they have burnt out though don’t you think?

A busy day at work today. My first full day in the office since I got back from the States and a shit load of admin. Boring and tiring to be honest. Not much to talk about there. I have a really busy one this week. Mind you that means it will go quickly…yaay…which in turn means that Friday will come quicker…yaaay.

I am paying my first visit to the holy place since April on Friday. I am off to Cheltenham for a couple of days. Now that is MY place of worship. I am driving up Friday morning, staying in town Friday evening and coming back after racing on Saturday.

I know what you’re thinking...”Doesn’t the bald geezer do any work?…more holidays than Judith Chalmers” Well you know what you’d be right. And guess what? You too could have loads of holidays and masses of money for hardly any work and all you have to do is go and work for a local authority; preferably a Labour controlled one…yaaay. Three cheers for the council taxpayers…hip hip…not forgetting the unions of course 8-).

Think I’ll settle down and watch a few more of the Oz’s tonight. Hope my man has my fix of Series 4 and 5. I’ve almost finished 3 now. I defintely need my stuff man.

Lights out and time for lockdown kiddies.

Stevie B

Voyeur's Corner

2005-11-06T15:30:00.000Z

Hello again to all the voyeurs out there…not including Mr Wenger of course.

Not a lot going on this weekend really. Went to THOF yesterday and, quite frankly, was bored shitless. I have to say that I cannot remember a Premiership team coming to Highbury that were as poor as the ‘Mackems’ side we played yesterday…and I thought Everton were bad! For most of the game it was like watching a lion playing with a wildebeest before eating it, so poor were the opposition.

We really should have had more goals, and but for our usual arrogance we certainly would have done. Mind you we can’t complain about the arrogance now as more than a few of our wonderful moments in recent times have lent themselves to the same trait. When Sunderland scored, with what I think was their only attempt on goal in the entire match, everyone who sits around me, to a man. All said. “We’ll score again now”. Which we promptly did a couple of minutes later. It really was half pace performance against a really bad team. Even Gilberto managed to look mediocre

I can actually see this team threatening the Premiership record for the lowest number of points in a season. They looked that bad to me. I am not sure what price they are on Betfair to go down but whatever they are I would advise that you ‘fill up’. It has still got to be better than any bank rate.

A real shame actually for Sunderland, not least their brilliant, and vocal, travelling support. Also because I really like Mick too. I have always had a lot of time for him. I find him refreshingly honest and still think he handled the Roy Keane thing a few years ago with a lot of class, despite being subsquently shafted by the FAI. However the thing that has always impressed me the most about Mick was the way, that when playing for Ireland, he would stick like glue to the opposition’s star player in the last 2 minutes of every game he took part in so he could swap shirts with them. Check the old videos if you don’t believe me. He must have the most unbelievable collection of shirts at home…coming to a Sotheby’s near you eh 8-). He will never be skint with that lot I'm sure. I hope he doesn’t lose his job though (sometime around March by my reckoning) when Sunderland goes down.

Didn’t do a lot last night. Messed around at Walthamstow on 425, which turned out to be a bad idea. Note to self. Don’t get involved with dogs you know little about or have no semblance of an edge…derrr! Oh and don’t whinge about your luck when the same dogs are in any way unlucky. Shame I do as I do and don’t do as I say eh? 8-)

On the dog front. Our pups will be leaving Ireland in the next couple of weeks and, all being well, may even be on the card in December, at we think Walthamstow. A bit to do with that one yet. A long story that I may go into at another time. Not long now. Looking forward to it and all.

Did watch a load more of the ‘Oz’s’ last night. I am on series 3 now and a phone call has been made to ‘my DVD man’ for 4 and 5 already…another obsession for the bald bloke.

What else…oh fuck me. Did you read what Patrick has said about Van Cheatalot. Read it here kiddies Wow. He did not sit on the fence with that did he? Maybe now certain sections of the media will view ‘handbag gate’ at the Theatre of Prawn sannies in the whole context of it and the many years and indiscretions that Van Divelaot had gotten away with when playing against the Arse. Now I do not condone what happened and a number of the Arse’ players were (very much) rightly punished for their poor behaviour. I am however still amazed how Gary Neville was not when TV evidence clearly showed him punching Ray Parlour. (How many times did I feel like doing that over the years? 8-)). However I am sure the Premier League had their ‘reasons’ for not punishing ‘England’s full back and David Beckhams’ best man. The one thing the altercation was not, and never was, was a stand-alone incident though. That is the point. And besides, anyone who has seen any of the bench clearing incidents between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox in the past few years would choke on their ‘hot dogs and pretzels’ to see the events described at OT as a brawl. Absolutely ridiculous. Can’t wait for the book to come out. He can say what he likes now he has left ‘God’s Team’ …and it appears he is taking that fact and running with it eh. November 17th apparently. My order is in Blog buddies. Oh and, let’s be honest… I know Patrick was no angel himself but was anything he said about Van Shitimself in any way untrue or off the mark? Exactly! A great player and an unbelievable goalscorer but a truly odious individual.

I popped down the market this morning. I went to Spitafields, Brick Lane and Columbia Row. I parked my car outside ‘Ship Castle’ on the Village Green of Bethnal. Too early for the Shipmeister I’m afraid so I went to market on my own. I did not buy much although I did acquire a new Soul-Jazz Records compilation that has just been released entitled ‘Soul Gospel’. Damn good it is too. Yep blog buddies. When I open the door and decide go in, then walking back out again is not an option is it.8-). I shall henceforth call this my Gospel period.

Returned back to the baldsmobile and popped into the Shipster’s to share recent bad beat stories over a mug of PG’s finest. He was in good form too, as was the family. His little boy was excited as Simon is taking him to Birmingham to see the WWE next week. Bet you won’t be able to get a bet on that Shippy 8-). If you did you could always ask for the results in advance though couldn't you?

I am going to spend the rest of the day at Chez Baldman. I will probably watch the Merchandise United V Wimble-Chelski game but I am not sure yet. To be honest I couldn’t give a fuck who wins. I always want both of them to lose. Actually that is not strictly true. I want them both to beat Tottscum whatever the circumstances. A draw with lots of injuries and red and yellow cards please.

I have also had a good bet on Carolina to beat Tampa Bay tonight too at 1.98 with no handicap. I have backed Carolina to win the Superbowl at the start of the season this year and hope to get the lot tonight. A win plus top spot in their division too. At the risk of not bokking myself I am have won my last 3 NFL bets and am now in profit for the season at which I am now 6 and 4.I really shouldn’t have written that should I. Bok extraordinaire eh!

I'm off to play some darts...with my Van Nistleroy poster.

Love and kisses

Happy birthday to a legend

2005-11-05T01:07:00.000Z

The greatest jockey who ever lived is 70 today.

Mean, miserable, cantankerous, selfish, backstabbing and an absolute genius as well as one of the funniest men ever to have lived. I am of course referring to ‘Sir’ (but for his little altercation with the tax man surely) Lester Keith Piggott.

If you have not yet seen the recent, well for ages actually but it just keeps coming back to the top, thread on the Betfair Forum. Well where have you been? It is quite wonderful. I spoke recently with Rupert Mackeson, co collaborator with the great one on the book Lester’s Derby and his unofficial agent, and according to Rupert himself, "Lester’s valet these days", about the possibility of a book involving ‘Lester Stories’, a la the Betfair thread. He told me the possibility was being looked into. The main problem, he said to me, was convincing Lester who is just as moody as he ever was 8-). Rupert also told me that some days he turns up for the book signings does not say a single word to him, stays for several hours and just buggers off again, often without even saying goodbye or a single word to him all day.8-)

There is a wonderful piece in yesterday’s ‘Eggs on Toast’ by Sean Magee revealing ’70 things you need to know about the racing legend on the eve of his 70th birthday’.

Amongst the many gems in the piece my own four particular favourites were…

“Lester is a volcano trapped in an iceberg” from Hugh McIlvaney

An inscription from the greatest ever sports commentator Sir Peter O’Sullevan, which he contributed to the Piggott Gates at Epsom Racecourse in 1996 saying “An iconoclast who became an icon” …fuck that’s good!

After Lester won his 9th Derby on Teenoso journalist Tony Morris described him as “The supreme artist plying his craft from the saddle, his genius as sublime as that of a Rembrandt or a Beethoven and his accomplishments on the same plane” A bit over the top that one but for true racing folks right on the money.

Finally a great quote from former Royal jockey Harry Carr who said, “Jimmy Lindley says if Lester hadn’t been champion jockey he’d have been Prime Minister, but that’s wrong. He would have been Chancellor of the Exchequer”. What a thought eh? 8-).

Still the greatest jockey I ever saw…or probably ever will. An absolute legend and, very definitely, a one off. Happy birthday to the ‘Long Fellow’. Bet he won’t be paying for any of the drinks at his party either. You can bet on that!

What has been happening in baldsville today kiddies? Well I went out on truancy patrol this morning in a joint venture with my colleagues from Westminster and made a little girl cry in the Trocadero…8-(. Basically she was with her sister and older brother and they were obviously truanting. They were also equally as obviously lying through their teeth giving us several different addresses, schools, dates of birth etc. Anyway after about half an hour, and realising my colleague and I from the police were not going to go away, we finally got the truth, saw ID etc. At this point one of the girls burst into tears. She realised that we were going to telephone the school. Something we have to do, not just because it is in our remit but also from a health and safety standpoint. I.e. so everyone knows and in case there are any problems, accidents or complaints after the event, that kind of thing. The young woman, realising we were going to inform the school, who would ultimately tell her parents, just lost it. Bawling her eyes out with the main crux of her sorrow being the old “my dad’s gonna kill me” defence. Fuck we felt shitty. It was pretty horrid I can tell you blog buddies. I suppose one can hope that this experience may have put them off ‘bunking off’ in the future. After speaking with the Deputy Head at their school he told me that they were actually pretty much model students and certainly not habitual truants. So maybe it would have scared them sufficiently? However it really is fucking horrible knowing you have been responsible for a 13-year-old girl bawling her eyes out though. Gotta be a better way to make a living than this surely?

On a more positive note all matters Wimbledon were tickety boo, A1, ace, terif’ and brill’ yesterday darlings. One bet in the morning (well lunchtime actually) copping a nice forecast AND the tricast. Fuck me I can't remember the last time I even put a tricast on! All 3 dogs finishing well clear of the field…dontcha just love it when that happens? 8-). In addition to that we had only one bet on the evening card and it won at 5-2…yaay...by a short head... yaaay! Please refer to previous comments!

And all that on top of my first decent night’s sleep in over a week. Things are looking up kiddies…how’s that for the bok of boks eh? How many whinges will there be tomorrow I wonder?

May every post be your (and my) winning post.

Night night

The (evil) Childcatcher...lock up your children I am out again Wednesday!

The holiday is officially over

2005-11-03T18:59:00.000Z

Back to work today…8-(. Well it had to happen sooner or later didn’t it?

I still feel a bit rough but I did get around 5 hours sleep last night, finally. Hopefully I will get a proper night’s zzz’s tonight and be ok. Should be anyway.

I did find out at work today that I am moving into a different department and office. I am being moved into the Education Welfare Service. It is not completely different as most of my duties will be the same and I am ‘half an EWO’ anyway at the moment. It will not change too much. I may take on one or two new tasks and perhaps lose some also…the way things were prior to my holiday I fucking better anyway! The move is probably going to take place sometime in December and I have asked to do it in the school holidays. As for my ‘professional future’ I am going to see how it goes for a couple of months. A change of scenery and a slight change of job might do the trick. I will play it by ear and see how it goes…and lots of other clichés too.

I saw my neighbour yesterday and broached the subject of the ‘flat swap’ I have to tell you blog buddies she did not seem as enthusiastic as she once was, and nowhere near as much as I either. I did not labour the point as she may have been having a bad day. Mind you I do have that effect on people sometimes though 8-). She did not actually say no but did not seem overly keen to discuss it. I will give it a week or two and revisit the subject. I am hoping to go full steam ahead for the New Year if all is agreed. I suppose watch this space is all I can say. Besides I still need to raise the money too.

Roy Keane eh? Fuck me he’s a boy isn’t he. No job in the diplomatic corps for him eh? I read some of the things he is meant to have said in this morning’s Gruaniad. Wow! Doesn’t mince his words does he. Surely the interview will have to turn up on the ‘Net at some point soon. I would pay money for that. Good to see that he hasn’t fallen for all the ‘Emperor’s new clothes bollocks’ about Darren Fletcher neither. Let’s put it this way. As an Arsenal fan I have always been extremely pleased to see Darren wearing the Red/Blue/Grey/White/Black of Manure…and that is just this season’s kits! It is almost as ridiculous as some sections of the media telling us how great Gilberto is “Well he won a World Cup Winners medal you know”. Two words Stephane fucking Guivarche…well three anyway...err nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition…ahh fuckit.

And what of old 'red face' himself? Well like all great dictators perhaps he has stayed in office a bit too long…De Gaulle, Thatcher, Brian Clough etc. I Still think it is a bit off though the Surrey Utd fans giving him loads of stick. He would not win any popularity contests, outside of Surrey or Thailand maybe, but the bloke has been one of the greatest managers in history…Football fans eh. Now about that cunt Wenger 8-)…lol.

Finally how about those French boys and girls. When they rise up and 'revolt' they don’t fuck about do they? Fucking hell. Those revolting French again…at least that it was I think the bloke on the telly was saying anyway. Puts our piddling little ‘Poll Tax riots’ in perspective doesn’t it? Always liked they way they treat their royal family as well the French. Them and the Russians eh? Public beheadings of Royals in Hyde Park. Whaddya reckon? Now THAT would bring the tourists in. Put me down for a dozen commemorative mugs for that one. In my world anyway. 8-)

Night in tonight blog buddies. I might start on the ‘Tilt’ series although I also, finally, have a copy of California Split. I have never actually seen it but have heard lots of good things about it. It has finally been released on DVD so I bought a copy last week. That is if I can manage to stay awake. One more night

Stevie B

Only 361 days to the Breeders Cup

2005-11-02T22:10:00.000Z

Not a well man today blog buddies. I think the jet lag combined with burning the candle at both ends, some poor sleep patterns and a truly appalling diet in the last couple of weeks has resulted in my catching a horrible cold. I feel like absolute crap boys and girls. Never as happy as when I'm whingeing 8-)

Didn’t go to work today but I took it as annual leave…I could hardly take a sickie seeing as it was self-induced could I. That would have been taking the urine considering I have just returned from my hols.

I have spent the day indoors watching a load of DVD’s and taking non-prescription cold remedies. That's a good night out in my world. I have been catching up on my ‘Oz’s’ and watched a couple of films I brought back from the U.S.

I watched ‘High Roller’ the film about Stu Ungar. Have to say not overly impressed. I thought is was pretty disappointing actually. I also brought back the 'Tilt' Series. Haven't watched that yet but have heard a number of bad things about it. I think I will leave that until after 'Oz'.

I didn’t go to THOF tonight either. I felt like shit, it was pissing down with rain and I couldn’t be bothered really. I did offer my ticket to a number of people (free of charge) but nobody wanted it 8-). We really are spoilt us Gooners aren’t we?

I watched the game on TV and to be honest it wasn’t the greatest game. I think I have said before that, over the past 10 years or so, we have had some bastard groups. However I honestly do not think I have seen a weaker group than this one. I know you can only beat what is put in front of you but we have had some seriously good fortune with this draw.

That said ‘Fawlty’ Manuel still managed to look a truly appalling goalkeeper. Please God we do not have to use him in a ‘proper’ game…see the Manure and Bolton games last season! Every time you see him he just reminds you of a bloke we have put in goal because the real 'keeper did not turn up. A la Hackney Marshes on a Sunday morning. Very fucking frightening. He just looks clueless in everything he does. And to think I used to moan about the German. He might be a dodgepot with a suspect temperament but he is a thousand times better than Almunia. Question for Le Boss. Why the fuck did you buy Poom if this mug is still going to be in front of him?

On the Arse’ front I have decided not to renew my season ticket for next year. Such is the nature of the new stadium we have to decide about next season, and leave a deposit, (Qu'une surprisee eh?) in the next few weeks. As such I have been given ‘my date’ to go to the stadium and do the business. That date being November 19th. I have made arrangements for someone to buy it off of me next season, whilst keeping my name on the book. Therefore if I do miss it I still have the opportunity to ‘come back’ in 2006-07. At the moment I don’t think I will though. Time will tell. I have however already managed to secure a ticket for the first home game at the new stadium…well I have to go to that of course.

Finally, in my quest to become one of the saddest fuckers on the planet I booked my hotel for the 2006 Breeders Cup today, being held at, the ‘Bluegrass Country’ that is, Churchill Downs in Louisville Kentucky. Only 362 days to go you know. Well my reasoning is I do not have to pay until I get there and can cancel whenever I want so it is not costing me anything. Got a great deal too it is only a ½ mile from the track as well…yeah I know what a sad fucker 8-(.

I’m going back to my Lemsips and self pity anyway…need to get a good night’s sleep tonight though. I HAVE to go to work tomorrow no matter how I feel. I have a couple of very important meetings.

PS Just seen the Barca' highlights. Fuck they looked good. Why the hell did we not but Van Bommel? We had so many opportunities too.

Glad to be home?

2005-11-01T18:25:00.000Z

Well I am back in the bosom of Mother England…fucking bollocks eh? I have never been able to get behind the thinking that “…it’s good to get home after your holiday”. Huh? Perhaps they are going to the wrong holiday destinations. I could have stayed much longer and not been at all worried about what was going in England to be honest.

Back to reality, a job that is beginning to bore me, dark nights and no more trips abroad until after Xmas. Still at least I have Cheltenham the week after next for the Mackeson Meeting. Yaay!

What has happened since last we spoke? Well to be truthful I did almost nothing on Sunday. I was a bit down and deflated really and, as I said in a previous entry, was in an ‘after the Lord Mayor’s show kind of vibe’. In retrospect I should probably have arranged to fly home on Sunday. If nothing else it would have given me an extra day to recover this bloody jet lag I have. I have tried most things to try to combat it but nothing really works for me. I am desperately trying to stay awake now so as not to be wide-awake in the middle of the night. I might have to play online poker if that were to happen 8-). I have to be in the office tomorrow so I shall brave it out by finding loads of things to do. Mind over matter and all that.

An uneventful journey home really…oh I did get lost in New York (again) on my way to Le Guardia. Typical fucking New York directions. The hotel gave me a sheet outlining where I needed to go. However at a point several miles up the Parkway the road splits in two and… yeah you’ve guessed it…neither way had any piece of what was written on my sheet. Nothing even closely resembling it. Another even money chance I got wrong 8-(. I ended up nearer to JFK Airport and then got caught in bastard traffic jam on the Van Wyck. Lucky I gave myself plenty of time eh?

Aaah yeah the only thing of any note that I did find amusing, since last we spoke, was the most bizarre shop I discovered. I popped over the road to the mall on Sunday to get one or two supplies and some food (as you know I don’t do airline food) and found the strangest shop there. You know those infomercials you get on the crap satellite channels when they give you the “You can’t buy this in the shops line”. Well the reason for this is usually, A, it is a pile of jobbies and no one would dream of buying it in a shop without the patter and the sales pitch anyway, and/or B, If you ever got to see this garbage in person you would never dream of buying it. Never mind that most of it is as much use the proverbial chocolate teapot. Well this shop was called ‘As Seen on TV’ (so is death, pestilence and famine but you wouldn’t fancy buying any of it would you?) and it had the most unbelievable gunk you have ever seen. I went in and some of the items were truly appalling…and cheap? You couldn’t get any cheaper. The trouble was that this 'cheapness' did not extend to the price tag...what kind of mark-ups they work on God only knows. I ain't half getting biblical since my 'calling' on the I-95 dontcha think? I actually hung around for a bit to see if anyone went into the shop but I did not see one person go in. I think I may have been inadvertently teasing the proprietor by my lurking. I reckon he might have thought he finally had a customer. I certainly wouldn’t be recommending that he expand the business though if I were him. Maybe he could take out an Ocean Finance Loan? At least I now know for sure why “…you cannot but this in the shops’. It appears that even Americans are not gullible enough to but any of that shit in a shop. Or perhaps they are…I don’t live there it’s none of my business. Perhaps they need an annoying Englishman to demonstrate it to potential customers? It seems to work on the telly...Hmm. Are you thinking what I'm thinking blog buddies. I can certainly do 'annoying Englishman'.

The rest of the day I just chilled out and did very little. The Giants won though so that got me a ‘few dollars more’ anyway.

I did get to finish a book I have been reading. Excellent it was too and I highly recommend it. It is called ‘Horseplayers: Life at the Track by Ted McClelland. Ted is a Chicago journalist and a keen racegoer. He persuaded an editor to finance him to spend a year at the Chicago racetracks of Hawthorne and Arlington, with his goal being to make it pay/a living, what a dick eh 8-), and of course write a book about it. Fuck me though, how good is that gig? Jealous? And how, and how. About as jealous as jealous can be too. What he does do is follow and interview a number of people who are regulars at the tracks and he does this across all the social strata’s and hierarchies existing at the track. Don’t forget when a track has a ‘meeting’ in the States is goes on every day for months. He introduces you to hustlers, touts, all the way up to the top handicappers and pros. What makes it so wonderful is his writing style, dry wit and marvellous insights into the world he is inhabiting. There were a number of occasions when what Ted wrote was so wonderful that I would have to go back and read the passage several times…slowly of course to savour it. My reading really is coming along you know. Key Stage 3 is history; bring on KS4 that’s what I say! Raay for Phonics eh? I actually discovered the book after a review in the ‘Eggs on Toast’ a few months ago and High Stakes ordered if for me from the publishers the Chicago Review Press. Highly recommended though kiddies. An excellent read if you get the chance.

And now I am back at Baldman Towers, heavily jetlagged and (NOT) looking forward to going to work tomorrow. Maybe I should write to Ted and find out he managed to persuade an editor. That is one job I could really go for.

A little sad also after Best Mate this afternoon but I have covered that elsewhere.

Glad to be home?...Am I bollocks!

Best Mate January 25th 1995-November 1st 2005

2005-11-01T15:26:00.000Z

2002 King George V1 Chase

2002 Cheltenham Gold Cup

2003 Cheltenham Gold Cup

2003 Ericcson Chase

2004 Cheltenham Gold Cup

A very sad day today. We lost a proper racehorse and a true sporting hero this afternoon. A real 'People's Champion'

All thoughts with Hen' and Terry and Jim and Val Lewis.

Apparently he did not suffer so that is something.

With much sadness.

The Big Day

2005-10-30T17:51:00.000Z

'Two cool cats?'...oh alright a 'Dude and a Dud then'

Breeders Cup day started with getting up at a pretty early hour. It was the little matter of the North London Derby. I had telephoned several local bars with Fox Sports World (read Sky) but none were opening to show it. I am sure they would have done had the ‘local team’ being playing, the Manchester Red Sox…grrr!

Therefore it was just YT and the, pretty mediocre and constantly reloading, Arsenal Online. Not the greatest commentary you will ever get but hey, needs must eh. The co-commentator today was Terry Neil. Didn’t know he was back in the country either. I wonder if that is known to certain people? After listening to him for 90 minutes it further endorsed my view that he is not a bad bloke. I actually met him a number of times when he was at the Arse definitely a good bloke. However it equally endorsed my view that I am glad he is no longer manager at THOF either. One of the things that annoyed me though was the way he constantly referred to Lehman as ‘JAN’ Lehman. Fuck how hard is to get a players name correct? Jeez. Messrs Pleat, Taylor et al, also take note.

On the subject of ‘JENS’ Lehman I read that he was hit with a conker from the crowd. Now I am sure he made the most of it and let’s be honest he is just so…well…German. Although not as German as some. Oliver Khan for example who must be the most ‘German’ German on the planet. Even more so than Lothar Mattheus. However despite this I make it around a half a dozen times Tottscum fans have gotten away with this in the past few years. A couple of times at Highbury, Henry and Campbell have both been hit by missiles at Shite Hart Lane and they have also done the same thing at Darwin’s’ Waiting Room (Stamford Bridge) on more than one occasion as well. Now I am constantly hearing and reading whenever English Clubs are penalised for the misdemeanours of their supporters that “Teams get away with it in Italy and Spain…yada yada yada…one law for us..yada..” Well guess what kiddies. If a team's fans had done this consistently in other countries they WOULD have been punished and probably the subject of a ground closure too. Is it not about time that the weak and incompetent Premier League took action on this, and to be totally honest on all cases of missile throwing? Sure cheer, boo, hate, get intense etc etc. All the things that are great about being a footie fan, I'm sure you'll agree. However the missile throwing is just not acceptable. There really is an easy solution but I doubt if the authorities will have the balls to do anything about it.

The game? Well it sounded on the commentary that we were pretty much murdered in the first half but bossed the second, with the introduction of Pires and van Persie apparently. We were losing things, surprise surprise, in midfield. Just what this blogger was worried about before and, let’s face it I am not being too clever here, what almost every Gooner I know will tell you, IN MIDFIELD. We are not good enough there pure and simple. The decision to drop Pires, who to be fair is not having a good season, was taken according to Le Boss because “ I wanted to be stronger in midfield”. Oh yeah???? Well what the fuck was Gilberto and Flamini doing on the pitch then? For fuck's sake!!! The former according to the article I read by 'Gooner' Amy Lawrence was “woeful”. I am really starting to think Arsene may be losing the plot over the whole Vieira thing and has become so defensive about it that he cannot see what is staring him in the face. I still maintain that selling Patrick was not the mistake but not replacing him was.

Pleased to get a point though and maintain our excellent record against our ‘less fortunate’ neighbours but let’s be honest, it is temporary band-aid for something that needs surgery. It ain't going to go away Arsene.

The whole footie thing yesterday was not good either. In fact it was pretty shitty actually. Not one of my teams won. Blades drew at home with Cardiff, but fortunately Reading did the same with ‘Dirty Leeds’.

In League One Huddersfield scraped a very lucky draw apparently at home to bottom club Swindon and Brentford got their arses kicked at home to Bournemouth (when exactly did they drop the Boscombe?).

Finally in League Two Wycombe maintained their unbeaten start to the campaign but drew again, this time at home to the Posh. They were actually 2-0 down so it is maybe a point gained but they really need to stop squandering silly points and winning the games they 'ought to win'. Starting to concede goals has also coincided with the on loan keeper going back to Preston with an injury. As well as a centre half a goalkeeper has to be top of Gormanscum’s shopping list surely?

On to the big day. Well the first thing I have to say was that is was absolutely fucking freezing. Last year I was sweating bullets in Texas, a summer suit and short-sleeved shirt and still too hot. This year I was shivering for my life. Many of the patrons were walking about in gloves woolly hats and quilted jackets. It lent itself more to Cheltenham in December than the Breeders Cup. Apparently the unusually cold weather is another knock on effect from ‘Wilma’. Absolutely gorgeous today though (Sunday) though as I write this. Grrr.

On the racing front it would appear that my worries about the strength of the European team was founded. We did get a 1-2-3-4 in the Turf but that is pretty much a ‘gimme’ for the Europeans anyway. That race aside it was very disappointing day for Europe, although I thought Ouija Board ran well considering her injury interrupted season. I actually backed the winner of the Fillies and Mares Turf race. Intercontinental. To be honest there were breeding doubts about her stamina but such were her very impressive Beyer figures at a mile I was prepared to take the chance at 14-1, the price I took with Hills earlier in the week. Shippy backed her at 22-1 on the machine. What a judge eh the bald guy eh 8-(. Still winner’s a winner huh?

I also backed Shirrocco, the winner of the Turf, at 7-1. I missed all the 8’s and 9’s earlier in the week. The winner was trained by the master himself, Andre Fabre, or ‘God’ as Sir?..hurry up ‘Maj’ for fucks sake...Henry Cecil calls him.

On the other races I was a bit unfortunate in the sprint backing the unlucky second, for small money in the morning at 18. It was beaten a head in a photo and I was genuinely hopeful it would get the race after a ‘stewards’ but it was not to be. I wanted to get the favourite, Lost in the Fog, in this race and should have laid it really. Although it was 10 for 10 in its’ races it had not beaten top class horses and it’s poorest performance to date was at Belmont. An opportunity missed there. Ah well too late now. If you don't put your money where your mouth is eh? Although why I would want to stick money up my arse God only knows.

Saint Liam was an impressive winner of the $4.8 million Classic. The extra 800k was the supplementary fee paid by the owners of Starcraft to take their place. Despite going well at the turn the Australian ‘brute’, without doubt one of the biggest horses I have ever seen and certainly the biggest head, found little off the bridle. Jerry Bailey, arguably the best jockey in the world, gave the winner a marvellous ride I thought.

All in all I ended up with a decent profit. I more than covered the ‘day’s’ exes so that was nice.

An excellent day’s racing, despite the bitterly cold weather and I shall now, in my inimitable, sad, anal way begin planning for Louisville, Kentucky in 2006. ESPN have the rights to broadcast it next year and, via a friend of a friend I may have a really good contact there.

As for today? Well as I said the weather is lovely, bit late for that eh, but I am a bit down. I think it is a have an ‘after the Lord Mayors Show’ vibe going on really. The main event is over, as is the holiday I have looked forward to for some time and I only have a long journey home to look forward too. All good things must come to an end I suppose. A bit like having hair eh?

I could have gone to Belmont again but where do you go after yesterday? Do you really want to go and watch a lower league game the day after being at the World Cup Final? Just no enthusiasm for it really.

I was going to go over to Giant Stadium to try to get a ticket for the Giants V Redskins game. However the fact that is was so far away, the other side of New York, and it is a fuck of a long drive not to be sure about getting in did not enthuse me. It was of course a sell out and I was not sure how much I would need to pay a scalper either if necessary. That and the fact that I am a bit down today and couldn’t be arsed I decided to watch it on the ‘custard’ instead. I have had a decent interest on the Giants –2.5pts so fingers crossed for that. I think the 'Skins may have shot their bolt a bit, great job that Joe Gibbs has done.

Not sure what I am going to do the rest of the day. I am really in a ‘can’t be arsed’ mood today. I might go and see a film later not sure which. I really want to see the new film about Johnny Cash but it is not out for a couple of weeks 8-(. I shall have to see my DVD man when I get home.

I’m also going to need to pack at some point. With all my ‘recent acquisitions’ that will be fun I’m sure 8-).

This will more than likely be it now for a couple of days regards blogging...hurrah I hear you cry...travelling and jet lag will see to that I reckon. I also have to fly home via Canada too. I had the choice of flying into New York and then to Canada or the other way around. I decided I wanted to get straight there and, such was the nature of travelling home I would take a little more inconvenience on the return journey.

Why are holidays so short? Hope I don’t get lost on the way to Le Guardia 8-)

Never did get to meet ‘Ada’ either.

Wow New York…just like I pictured it. Skyscrapers and everythang

2005-10-29T05:25:00.000+01:00

Yo whassup dawgs I’m kicking it in the hood of Strong Island with my homeys…and do you know I have absolutely no clue what any of that drivel means although apparently that is exactly how the young descendants of the colonial types actually speak. The young of today eh? No diction. Quite dreadful really don't you think? They all wear jeans that do not fit them properly either. Most peculiar.

Well yes I am in New Yawk. No blog entry yesterday too much to do. I did get a letter from a Mr Ship of Bethnal Green though. He began, “Dear Mr Beast”, so formal too, “…did you actually get to play any dice in Atlantic City?” Well yes Mr Ship I did actually, thank you for asking. I managed to finally play on the morning that I Left AC. It was pretty unmemorable actually on fairly empty table. I don’t know who was more bored the players or the dealers. 10.30 am, not really the time to play craps…unless of course you are still ‘rocking’ from the previous night I suppose. In the end I actually showed a small profit but ended up being bored shitless. There are of course far worse scenarios involving your humbald blogger and a dice table though so it could have been much worse. I can’t believe I was in Atlantic City for the best part of three days and did not succumb to the evil cubes until so late. The principal reason for this was of course the baseball. I was pretty much consumed by the Series both mentally and financially throughout my time there and, particularly with the very long games, there was little time for much more. Perhaps AC was not the place to be at the time. The weather didn't help either. As I have said before though I wish I was in Chicago. I have just watched news pictures of the ‘Parade’ through the streets that took place today in the city. Wow. Talk about making up for 85 years!

I drove up from Atlantic City after my dice session and a fairly unmemorable journey it was really. New York traffic is still the same; only worse, and the road signs are just as confusing and unwelcoming to visitors as they ever were. I have been to New York many times and have been to over 25 other states. New York is still the ONLY state where I continually get lost when driving. They have road signs that assume you know where you are going. Really fucking annoying. Another ‘trick’ they have in the Big Apple is to have more than one name for the same place. Therefore if you have the wrong name on your map then tough shit. Another tip too. Don't use Map Quest either. I did this to my own cost. One of the receptionists at the hotel endorsed this in a conversation I had with her last night too.

Something that did make me laugh though was a sign at the Brooklyn / Queens border. It had the usual standard sign saying ‘Leaving Brooklyn’, which was of course adjacent to one saying 'Welcome to Queens'. Both signs had the name of the respective Mayors etc etc but the bottom of the 'Leaving Brooklyn' one had been underlined with the word “Furgheddaboudit”. Written exactly like that too. Quality eh?

I did make one last stop in New Jawsey en route to 'the Apple'. I stopped off to get something to eat at a large Mall I saw in Monmouth. Yes the same Monmouth as the racetrack and the confirmed venue for the 2007 Breeders Cup…do I plan ahead or what? Anyways I was too early for the BC and there was no racing on this day either…of course I checked. What do you expect?

Although I had intended to spend a half hour there I did actually spend 5 hours. I ended up having something to eat, a massage (no a proper one, come on) as I have been having a few back twinges, I had my head shaved at the barbers and ending up doing a load of shopping too. I managed to get a number of things there that I had been after too. Oh well see you in 2 years Monmouth, via Louisville in 2006 first though eh?

Finally got to my Long Island hostelry, after paying countless tolls, the shape of things to come in blighty I feel. Methinks I had better get used to it. Almost all of the ‘motorways’, Turnpikes, Expressways etc, are toll roads where you have to stop to pay for the usage every so often. Fairly regularly. The difference between them and us though is that I am not sure that the Americans pay Road Tax. Doubt if that will bother our politicians none. Another tax on motorists coming soon eh?

I am in a nice hotel actually. Very impressed by it. It is a real business orientated hotel, set in the heart of the local business district but it certainly has everything I need.

After unpacking, something that is taking longer and longer to do...s'funny that...I went out and had a lovely meal in Ruth Chris’s Steakhouse. A reservation I had made some time ago. I had a T-bone steak that was so good kiddies I can only hope that the cow’s skin was used for something equally as wonderful…I dunno…say A-Rod’s baseball mitt? I would like to think so. A 'super cow' perchance?

Went to sleep with a smile on my face. No nothing like that...what did you think I meant? No I had enjoyed a good day and was looking forward to that ahead.

Started Friday with an hour or so in the gym, half-hour in the jacccuzi. A shave and a shower later, I decided to forgo the excretional part of that equation (if that is even a word) you’ll be glad to hear and I was 'good to go' as the locals might be heard to say.

I headed off to Belmont Park for the day’s racing, and my first visit to the track in 9 years. A wonderful track it is too I have to say. A real ‘proper’ racetrack and this is especially true of the track itself. It has many ‘European traits’ too, which I think makes it a touch disappointing we have not brought a stronger team to the BC. Maybe I will be eating my words on that one tomorrow evening. I certainly hope so. With around $17 million dollars in prize money on offer for the 8 races I can’t help thinking some trainers are missing a trick, especially in the juvenile division where European horses do tend to be a bit more forward. Wilko being an example last year. Perhaps with ‘dirt’ breeding being more prevalent in a lot of the breeding back home these days, aligned with Kempton and the other new A/W tracks opening, things may change in the coming years. This is especially so given that Polytrack is the new flavour of the year over here. Also the prize money is of course quite phenomenal too. 8-)

Another thing I like about Belmont, as opposed to Lone Star Park last year, is the size. I couldn’t help thinking that last year the decision to award LSP the Cup was a political one and, as hard as they tried, the track was just too small to host such a big event. I went to have a 'reccy' of my seat where I will be sitting tomorrow too. Not bad. It could have been better but, speaking from last year’s experience, it could have been a lot worse too.

How did I get on at the track? I made a small loss to be honest. Nothing major. What was worse though was the meal…come on what’s one of my blog entries without a good old moan eh? The only thing worse than the food, which was pretty dire, was the service. I had to ask for the same drink 7 times over a 40-minute period without success. They tried to bring my starter AFTER my main course and then proceeded to leave the main course on the table when I had hardly began eating my starter…oh did I mention it was cold when it arrived too. Did like the way that, in inimitable New York style, my server tried to persuade me to have my starter after the main course though. I kid you not. I think you get the picture though. I know you do not expect to have a great meal at a racetrack but acceptable would have been nice. Wasn't inexpensive either but then I am sure you could have guessed that.

I left just after the second last race with my Daily Racing Form for Breeders Cup Day. I was looking forward to a long evening with the DRF, Betfair, ATR site and the night-light on the desk in my room. In other words 'party central' 8-) What a sad fucker eh?

May every post be your winning post, your eyes be your guide and your money the last thing you part with…thems my mottos tomorrow anyway blog buddies.

Have a nice day

Rain rain go away...

2005-10-27T08:40:00.000+01:00

If you are about to read today’s entry you may want to get a flask of tea and few sandwiches to rake with you. Just a little warning for the ‘readers of the blog’

Where to start boys and girls. Oh before I start. I read the news today (oh boy…I’ll get me coat) and there WAS flooding in AC yesterday. Quite bad it was too in some parts. That’s the thing about staying at Caesars eh, you get a better class of storm outside. 8-). No flood waters down this end. Naughty weather though and, according to the experts, caused by ‘Wilma’.

The sun put its’ hat on today and so did I. I then went for a really long walk…it is all about cramming it in now I’m afraid. Very windy though.

I walked the length of the Boardwalk. It was a lovely bright day (finally!) although when the wind was up it was a bit of a bastard. I was walking along chatting to the Shipmeister on my ‘dog’ when the wind made it impossible to even talk…or was that Simon giving it the old hairdryer trick at his end…hmmm. It was windy though honest 8-)

I was accosted by a psychic trying to implore me to have a reading, drove me mad he did too. Do I have some kind of sign over my head that gives off subliminal signs to nutters…do I? Anyway if he was that good a psychic he should have known that I wouldn’t be interested now shouldn’t he?

I walked up to the end of the Boardwalk and when I turned around I crossed into Pacific Avenue to make the return trip that way. Pacific Avenue is the street that runs parallel with the Boardwalk but the other side of the hotels away from the Ocean.

I have to say it is a real contrast. Pacific Avenue is a collection of run down motels, pawnshops, porn shops, dodgy bars and low rent titty bars. I know the last one is a bit of an oxymoron but trust me on this one. In the ‘pecking order of the poles’ these girls are way down there. Not even Trisha would have these ‘Dancers’ on her show! Jeremy Kyle might though 8-). That is how low! This has always been my view of AC in that, unlike the Vegas resorts, who seem to adopt the policy that ‘what is good for Vegas is good for all the resorts’; I have always felt that AC has an ethos of ‘every resort for themselves’. Therefore the glamorous and the downright seedy sit side by side. It is a curious mix but, despite their aspirations in AC, they will never even come close to Vegas. One senses this rankles with them too.

I did notice a couple of things en route. Englebert Humperdink (the spell checker can’t handle that one) is appearing at the Tropicana this weekend. Thank God I’m leaving tomorrow eh. I wouldn’t have released the cunt no matter how many times he said please, especially with a hair cut like that. The boy from Leicester done good for himself though don’t you think?

I walked past the ‘Frank Sinatra wing’ of the Atlantic City Medical Centre…gotta like that I reckon. Although Frank was Vegas I have always thought he would probably have far more akin to AC. Don’t know if he had a hand in it financially or they just decided to honour one of the coolest fuckers ever to have walked the earth. Either way I’m with that.

I had a spot of lunch at a Country Kitchen…not one of my wisest decisions this week. It was barely edible and it did fill a spot, of sorts although it won’t be top of ‘BB’s guide to AC’ when it comes out. Still looking for a publisher for that one I’m afraid. Offers on a postcard. There was also a really dodgy 80’s pop CD playing the whole time I was there too, most disconcerting and annoying. When I left Cliff was belting out ‘Devil Woman’. Perhaps it was a sign from the ‘Bad guy, Beelzebub himself, trying to get me back into the fold after my ‘Damascan’ experience on I-95…or maybe it was just a crap record. Yeah it was a crap record. Cliff eh don’t you just…err…Cliff.

Whilst I was in the, and I use this term very loosely, restaurant. I got a picture text message (when I was a boy we used to have to take our pictures to the chemist you know. Took weeks to get back they did) from Alex the Gent. He was at Cheltenham and sent me a picture of the ‘holy lands’ with the message ‘am I jealous?’ Ordinarily I would be boys and girls but seeing as I have a wonderful room at Caesars, a fuck off convertible sports car (I’ll get over my mid-life crisis eventually I’m sure), albeit with no weather for it. 50-1 about the Chi-Sox, fine restaurants coming out of my ears, Country Kitchen excepted obviously, and a great ticket for the Breeders Cup I’ll take my position on this one. I returned his message accordingly. Still can’t wait for the Paddy Power meeting though 8-). Fuck, I do like being me sometimes.

I walked back to my hotel and entered the 3 o’clock No Limit tourney at Caesars. A bit disappointing really kiddies. 30 runners, $80 to enter. I played pretty well all the way through. I do not think I got my money in when I was behind once and, despite the very fast structure, was playing well. The blinds went up every twenty minutes and throughout the whole tourney I did not put in the same big or small blind once such was the speed. No I wasn’t short changing the pot. This was not helped by some pretty woeful dealing too. The amount of times ‘Hi I’m Mike and I’m your dealer’ kept trying to pay the losing hand was embarrassing. A good tip for him had I won would have been to get a job you are able to do properly. I know it is difficult sometimes and I am not normally someone who ‘gets on dealers’, in fact I hate doing it as I generally do players who give then a hard time, but he really was awful. Oh and before you say ‘could you do better’ the answer is an unequivocal YES. So could you too by the way. One senses that a by-product of the ‘poker revolution’ sweeping the U.S. is a dilution of dealing talent. I reckon we could have got more hands in if we self-dealt. There would have been a lot less problems with pots and showdowns too. We had to sort them out for him anyway.

I did make one or two bad calls but managed to get away from them without too much damage. However the blind structure being as it was 1000-2000 blinds (only 150,000 in play total) with a running 500 ante, not only did moves have to be made but there was 7000 in the pot before we started every hand…and they were going up in a minute. I looked down and saw Queens UTG. I has around 12,000 and I was next for the big blind so I just stuck it all in. No point fucking about now. I got one caller, the chip leader. Had I won the pot I would have actually been close to chip leader myself. He called me quick as a shot and turned over A K. Ok, not too bad…flop K K 2…turn A…river A. I had already got my coat on the flop. I went out 6th in the end. Not quite on the bubble, 4 places were paid, but near as damnit. If I had been able to win my first 50-50 of the afternoon I would have almost certainly been in the money and, such was the standard, not great, would have fancied myself to have a run at first place. Ah well, thems the breaks. I actually played quite well and you can’t really do better than that can you?

Went upstairs to have a shower and change and a had a lovely meal at ‘Prime Place’ in Ballys. The lamb chops were exquisite. I swear I could hear them baaa-ing. Mmm. Never mind Mary it did not die in vain. Yum yum.

I watched game 4 of the World Series at the Jay-Z’s 40-40 club. I decided to forgive him for not inviting me to the opening last night. It is a sports bar come club and modelled exactly on its forbearer in New York.

Juts for the non baseball fans. The 40-40 club is baseball term and is one of the most difficult achiebvments in baseball or indeed any sport. What it does signify is a player who hits 40 home runs and has 40 stolen bases in a season. The ultimate signification of supreme speed and the same in power. Players who can do one or the other are much sought after, players who can do both almost unique. Only 3 players have managed this achievement in the entire history of the game.

The three were, Mr Steroid himself and former Madonna plaything Jose Canseco. Jose was almost certainly a user of steroids and, such was the open secret of his use that a certain mix of ‘roids was commonly known in sport as ‘A Canseco Cocktail’ I always thought he looked a bit of a freak to be honest. He had this huge pumped up body on these little ‘real human’ legs. Still Madonna liked it….probably until she had to talk to him anyway. Wasn’t the sharpest bat in the rack apparently.

Barry Lamar Bonds also did it. Barry, who is the Godson of the legendary Willie Mays, is one of the greatest players ever to have played baseball, in fact a number of good judges rate him as the best all round player ever. Unfortunately his arrogance and obnoxiousness regularly matches his unbelievable talent. He is universally loathed by most of the sports media too. Sadly he will probably never get the true credit he deserves because of this. The Wesley Snipes character in 'The Fan', with Bobbie De Niro was thought to have been based (plagarised?) on Bonds if you have ever seen it.

Finally former Mariner and Texas Ranger, and current Yankee, Alex Rodriguez, the original A-Rod, also achieved this feat and given his age, could easily do it again too.

There is an unbelievable collection of signed sports shirts on the walls of the clubs and a number of themed rooms, for example the A-Rod room. These rooms are for hire only and start at $1500 a night. One of the clubs host kindly gave me a guide tour of the place. Whilst she was doing this I had the most bizarre experience. Amidst all the signed shirts from A-Rod, Bonds, Eli Manning, Michael, Labron, Cal Ripken, Donavon McNabb and many many others was a Liverpool shirt signed by Emile Heskey…you did it hear it right…EMILE HESKEY. I can only think that someone is seriously fucking with Jay-Z. I was told that the New York venue has a shirt of Beckscum’s. Well fair enough. Whatever one thinks of him he is a huge star but Heskey? I did tell the host that Heskey was useless…I decided to use the polite word. She did respond by telling me that he is a nice guy so one can only assume he is a regular visitor. I am sure he is. I used to briefly know David Price when he was at Arsenal. An absolutely lovely bloke but…well to be frank…a shit footballer. I wonder if the Yanks think he is some kind of superstar.

The place itself was pretty plush you know. I watched the first 7 and a half innings there. There are screens, both large and small, absolutely everywhere. I watched the baseball initially in the A-Rod room but then on a big screen sat on ‘stadium seating' which is banked on one side of the club. Watching the baseball with no commentary and some loud, pumping heavy based R&B and Rap was an experience and, as you would expect from a club owned by America’s most successful rapper of the last few years, the music was outstanding.

Last but not least, I bet you thought I would never get there eh? Congratulations to the Chicago White Sox for winning their first World Series title in 88 years (and Tottscum fans think they have problems!). They swept the Houston Astros 4-0, winning last night’s game 1-0. A bit harsh on the former maybe as all the games were pretty close. However I always felt the Chi-Sox were just that little bit better.
According to the TV the last time they won the Series Walt Disney graduated High School (the nazi bastard). Thanks also to Bet £3.65 for leaving their divisional prices for Chicago up far too long and also to the Nanny Goat for their ludicrous 50-1, and also laying a half the odds one-two as well. After the 16-1 each way St Louis last year, when incidentally they were 6 games up in 1st place, here’s hoping they do not get themselves a specialist baseball odds compiler for next season 8-). Sorry a bit(?) smug but everyone were patting themselves on the back on the TV at the end of the game and I just felt a bit left out really.

Oh to be in Chicago tonight. It is a really fun party town in normal circumstances, the best in America outside of Vegas I have experienced, and it will be soooo buzzing tonight…tomorrow morning…tomorrow night…Believe me if there is anywhere I could be in the world tonight it would be the area around Division St in Chicago.

The ‘Curse of the Black Sox’ is no more. Shoeless Joe Jackson will be resting easy tonight wherever he may be…who knows he may well have been in Houston this week. In spirit anyway. Very classy end to the Fox broadcast too. Over a still photo of (the actor who played) Shoeless Joe (in 8 men out) they played out with the jazz tune ‘At last’. Wonderful stuff. I thought that was absolutely brilliant. If you are not familiar with Shoeless Joe or the Black Sox scandal get yourself a copy of the film ‘8 Men Out'. It is an excellent film and, it’s ok, you do not need to know about baseball to enjoy it. One of the big sporting stories of the entire 20th Century and one that explains baseball’s total paranoia of all things gambling.

Fuck there’s no more baseball until March….aaaaaagh. What will I write about on my blog? I’m sure I’ll think of something don’t you. It’s probably about time I bought a Wycombe Wanderers shirt too dontcha think?

See you in New York I am driving up just after lunch.

Houston YOU have a problem

2005-10-26T15:18:00.000+01:00

Well it has finally stopped raining…hopefully. It did absolutely pour down again last night. I made several aborted attempts to ‘hit the Boardwalk’ but it was pretty impossible. The sun is actually shining at the moment. Do you think I should get a goat and go up a mountain? Bloody Noah knocked on my door last night asking if I had a twin!

As a result of the weather I have not been to any other hotels other than Caesars, Ballys and Wild West, as they are all connected (all owned by bloody Harrahs too…they really are trying to take over the world you know).

I still have not gambled yet either. I had intended to go out and play some craps last night but did not reckon with game 3 of the World Series…14 innings in 5 hours and 41 minutes (a WS record) finishing after 2am. Phew. Still at least I got a proper night's sleep at last...who wouldn't after that eh? I felt like I had played! The Chi Sox once again came back from the dead, being 4-0 early but scoring 5 runs in the 5th inning. Jason Lane levelled it up, for Houston with a double, in the 8th before a most unlikely hero emerged. Former Astro Geoff Blum, in his first ever World Series at bat hit a solo home run to break the tie in the top of the 14th! So 3-0 to the ‘Good Guys’. No team has ever come back from 3-0 in a World Series before. Mind you I could have said that about the Bronx Bombers last year in the ALCS 8-(
He's changed his tune a bit hasn't he?

One thing that has tickled me about Chicago’s run at the Series is the number of Cubs fans rooting for the Sox, something I could never see happening in New York with the Yanks and Mets that is for sure. They have been going to games and have been dubbed ‘Bisoxuals’. There are even loads of cubbies walking around wearing t-shirts declaring ‘I am a Bisoxual’. Pure quality. The circumferentially challenged woman is clearing her throat.

I am going to go for my, long awaited, stroll along the Boardwalk and I don’t care if it’s cold. I am off to New Yawk tomorrow…doesn’t the days go quickly eh.

Playing poker at 3, our time, looking forward to it too.

The Rain Man

Goodbye to a Great Woman

2005-10-25T22:46:00.000+01:00

Sad news to start today’s T.O.S blog buddies. The news programmes over here are all doing their tributes to ‘The Mother of the Modern Civil Rights Movement’, Rosa Parks, who died yesterday from natural causes at the age of 92. One of the icons of civil liberties worldwide, Rosa was of course the woman who refused to sit at the back of the bus in Alabama as part of a campaign of civil disobedience organised by, a then little known preacher by the name of, Martin Luther King. To do what she did, at the time and place in which she did it, was courageous in the extreme and her bravery will always be remembered. Her most high profile appearance in recent times was of course at the ‘Million Man March’ several years ago. Needless to say all of the tributes I have heard have been magnanimous and respectful to the fullest. A sad loss and she will always be remembered.

Well it is still raining but nowhere near as heavy as yesterday. I did work out though, that since I touched down in Toronto on Friday morning the ONLY time it has not been raining anywhere I have been was the few hours I spent in Toronto airport en route to New Yawk. Grrr. We had two inches of rain here in AC last night. Two bloody inches! The tide is high…John Holt and the Paragons and then covered by Blondie I believe…but thus far has the ocean has not burst its’ banks. Well it has further down the coast but not here. I did take a stroll…well all right a cowering, hooded, not quite a run and not quite a trot, in a girly kind of way, trip…down to the Atlantic this morning. However, such was the horrible conditions, I could hardly see the sea. Not very nice you know.

What to do kiddies? Well being my best English self I jumped in the car and braved the limited visibility on the AC Expressway for it was time to go shopping. Made out like a bandit too. I had been waiting to get here before I did any serious shopping. No disrespect to Canada but it is hardly ‘consumer central’. I am now in probably the most capitalist region of the most capitalist country in the world…yaaay. It’s ok blog buddies I will read two passages from Das Kapital tomorrow to cleanse myself. What can I say darlings, I’m weak, weak I say 8-(.

I won’t bore you with the stories of my purchases as I am in a good mood today wow! Suffice to say round one is over and round two will take place at the end of the week in Long Island.

I did however buy something I have been meaning to do for some time namely the new CD from Grammy winning artist Kanye West. Extremely good it is too. I have been waiting to buy it here because, for reasons known only to his record company, one of the stand out tracks has not been included on the European version of the CD and has only been added to the US version. You have to look everywhere for the music these days. It is always worth the search in the end too. The soundtack to the holiday just gets better.

Plans for the rest of the day? Well I have been here a full day now and haven’t so far gambled a penny…it must be my brush with the Lord I hear you cry…praise be. Well not really. I popped out last night but being a Monday it was very quiet. I did plan to play some craps but, as all my fellow sickos will testify, it is no fun playing a dice on a quiet empty table. I also felt tired too. I still haven't quite 'cast out' the jetlag properly either. I intend to stay out late tonight so hopefully I can get 'back to normal'...no comments please.

I have not played any poker yet either. Last night the poker room at Caesars was empty. They do have a daily comp…err tourney…I made the mistake of calling it that to the card room manager and an exchange ensued that was reminiscent of the film Airplane 8-)… at 3pm every day so I am going to try my luck.

I will also be looking for somewhere to peruse game 3 of the Series. Still looking for a sports bar. Not sure about watching it in a sports book to be honest. AC is really quiet at the moment and this may prove to be really anti-climactic. The Astros are of course trying to become the first time to come back from 2-0 in the World Series since the Yankees back in 1996…and where was your humbald blogster when this happened? Why I was right here in AC, the last time I was here actually. I sincerely hope that history does not repeat itself. I haven’t laid it off neither. If the Stros pull one back tonight I may not be as brave.

Finally tonight sees the opening of the 40-40 club about 100 yards or so from my hotel room. It is the new hot club in AC and is owned by Rapper, and ‘Mr Beyonce’, Jay-Z. Beyonce will be there, along with Denzel, Chris Rock, Puffy, Barry Bonds and apparently anyone who is anyone on the East Coast. I suspect that they do not know I am in town eh? Either that or my invite is lost in the post. The beginning of AC trying to become Vegas?

Night night kiddies…it might even stop raining tomorrow.

How I found Jesus on the New Jersey Turnpike

2005-10-25T05:08:00.000+01:00

Well I left Toronto and guess what? No rain this morning only bright bloody sunshine…grrr. Still cold though.

I am still having trouble sleeping though. I woke about 6 am and that was that. Wide-awake too. Knowing that would be it for sleep this morning I got up, got ready and decided to get off to the airport a bit early. I had a small altercation at Budget Car Rental when they tried to charge me double the quote I had secured from Budget UK. Everyone was running around with nobody taking responsibility…sounds like the Arsenal midfield eh 8-)…until finally I found the computer print out I had brought with me and the problem was solved. Sometimes being anal can have its’ advantages eh?

What I did do was watch a couple of episodes of Oz in the departure lounge, and on the plane…getting right into it now. Thanks Steve 8-)

Arrived at Le Guardia with no fuss and headed out to Budget. I made sure of my rate this time but after a bit of haggling managed to get an upgrade, for around $5 a day, to a sports convertible…those mid life crises eh? I might be bald with a small penis but at least…aaah…too much information. Anyway it was a joke. Yeah, that’s it, a joke. Right.

Headed south, through New York and the Cross Bronx Expressway, remembering to bow in reverent fashion as I passed Yankee Stadium, en route to the George Washington Bridge and AC via the New ‘Jawsey’ Turnpike. However after about an hour’s drive I hit absolute grid locked traffic…have to fecking pay for it too with the road being a bloody toll route! I switched off the CD, to look for an AM station to get the traffic news. I had seen a sign a while back but could not remember the frequency. It was then that I found it. A local Christian station broadcasting out of Trenton. Now when I say Christian this was not some sad ex-hippy, born again, ‘streets of London singing’, acoustic guitar strumming bloke called Clive with a bad haircut and an even worse pair of trainers trying to talk to you about how Jesus has changed his life and trying to be young and trendy whilst doing it. No siree Bob. This was in your face, fuck off, my God can beat up your God, holy spirit shit, with a little bit of fire and brimstone just waiting to jump out at you. This was serious kick arse, 'get thee behind me Satan', unless you pay the cover charge like everyone else, Gospel music. The station was called ‘Music for your Soul’ W I N G Trenton. I am not sure if it is a Gospel station all the time but the name would point to that. Song after song of intense brilliantly arranged tunes with choirs and casts of thousands, each building up to a climatic crescendo of pure, raw, unadulterated soul. I bet even the devil was having a sly toe tap. ‘The Lord is Great’ by the Reverend Blake was my favourite. I swear he lifted my car off of the ground boys and girls.

I have actually dabbled in this music before. I did have one of my ‘mini-obsessions’ around 20 years ago when I had a period of buying and listening to loads of albums, and cassettes, (no CD’s then luvvies) of Gospel legend Mahalia Jackson. I suppose it is not surprising as much of my favourite music and artists has its’ roots in the church. Curtis, Marvin Gaye, Donny Hathaway. Al Green, Aretha and many others learnt their trade there. Even Whitney learnt to sing in church with ‘Auntie Dionne’. Although that was way before ‘Little Bobbie’ took her for that ‘walk on the wild side’. You have to say that those Baptist/Methodist God Botherer dudes know how to belt out a hell of a tune…err…dodgy phraseology maybe but you know where I’m coming from blog buddies. Can I get an amen?

Unfortunately about 30 miles down the road I lost the signal. I did contemplate turning round but remembered I was going to AC to worship my Gods. The God of Dice, the God of Racing, not forgetting the God of Shopping of course…"And on the 6th day S/He created credit cards"...praise be! Or was that Margaret Thatcher. I do get confused sometimes you know.

As I got nearer to the Church of Caesars I hit some serious rain. That’s where it went in Toronto…in my bloody suitcase. It was real heavy too. The last 30 miles or so was pretty horrible. Visibility was not good. I finally made it to Caesars (Just HOW tacky is that statue eh? 8-)) and checked in. Just in time too as it turned into a storm. I looked out of the window a couple of times and not only was the rain torrential but the wind was howling and the trees were getting a fair degree of exercise too. Still raining as I write this as well. It does not look very nice out there boys and girls.

So there you have it. I am pretty much trapped in my hotel at the moment, not able to leave Caesars. I wanted to go out to eat but had to even stay in the hotel to do that. I was actually ‘forced’ to eat in Morton’s instead…I don’t want any of you to pity me though of course. By the way, the Chicago Rib Eye steak on the bone was incredible. I thought it was appropriate given that the Chicago White Sox had paid for it.

On the subject of the Chi Sox they went 2-0 up last night in their best of 7 series. An incredible game too. Coming from 4-2 down to lead 6-4 going into the top of the 9th, courtesy of Paul Knoerko's 7th inning grand slam, they gave up two runs to tie the game. They eventually won 7-6 with a walk off home run in the bottom of the ninth from Scott Podsednik, who became only the 14th player in history to hit a home run to finish a World Series game. This was his second home run in the post season but all the more remarkable when you consider he did not hit a single homer in the (162 game) regular season. It is all off to Houston tomorrow and I shall find myself a sports book or sports bar to indulge my sad macho obsessions...least I have a sports car. Better not put the top down yet though eh. Don't want to get my hair wet do I? As the signs the Chi Sox fans were holding up last night said "Houston you have a problem". We may find out the answer tomorrow eh?

How will I survive if it is still raining tomorrow I do not know…I can hear the dice talking to me already.

Oh great room by the way. The holiday has only just begun 8-)

UPDATE The TV has just stated that there is a severe flood warning for the entire Deleware and New Jersey coastlines tomorrow with extensive 'street flooding' a real possibility at high tide on Tuesday afternoon. Apparently it is some kind of fall out/knock on from Hurricane Wilma...Fuck eh? Who'd have thought such a harmless name like that could produce such damage?

The Main Event...well the starter anyway

2005-10-24T01:15:00.000+01:00

Still raining. In fact it rained all day and its’ still raining now.

I had a really good day today, betting aside, that part was pretty awful, at Woodbine. I was booked into the main restaurant there for their ‘all you can eat buffet’…well if that’s what it says it would be rude not to wouldn’t it. Made out like a bandit kiddies. More giant prawns than you can shake a stick at, lobster coming out of my ears (an unpleasant thought I know) and prime rib to die for…well the cow did obviously but you know what I mean dontcha blog buddies. Veggies aside of course. Although YOU would like to have a nice bit of prime rib really wouldn’t you? Go on when no one is looking. I won’t tell honest.

The racing was of the highest quality with a strong, or seemingly so, entry from Britain and Ireland…including Italian Frankie Dettori riding for a UAE owner and trainer. Anyway he is married to an English woman so that’ll do for me.

The group races started with a Group Two over 6 furlongs. The British representation was in the shape of Vanderlin, trained by Andrew Balding, brother of Claire, and ridden by Martin Dwyer. Although handy for most of the way the writing was on the wall about 2 furlongs from home and the horse faded out of the money in the closing stages, much to the chagrin of your humbald blogger who had placed some of yesterday’s ill gotten gains on said nag.

Next up was the E.P. Taylor Stakes over 10 furlongs for 3 year-old fillies and up. E.P. Taylor was a wealthy Canadian businessman and the breeder and owner of Northern Dancer (statue above) that most famous of racehorses, and of course legendary stallion. The turf course at Woodbine is called the E.P. Taylor Turf course in his honour. By 1970 he was the most successful breeder, by monies won, in the entire world. He died in 1989 at the ripe old age of 88. One of the great names in thoroughbred racing. A true legend of racing.

The favourite for this event was Punctilios, second last year and hoping to go one better. She was from the Godolphin stable and ridden by Frankie Dettori. Say what you like about Frankie he is so well known and loved all over the world. As he was walking down the chute on the filly, to enter the track from the paddock, the amount of local people who were calling out his name, cheering him and swapping jokes was incredible given that he hardly rides there. He is instantly recognisable wherever he goes and is such a major asset, in a PR sense, for Godolphin and the UAE in general. That said he was hard at work on the filly a long way from home and faltered tamely. In her defence, and indeed Vanderlin before her, the going had become very testing and this may have been a major factor. I was not entirely sure about the official going of ‘yielding’. The way horses were finishing it appeared to be more testing than that. The heavy rain had been non-stop for about 36 hours or so and the dirt track was a mud bath. That said the bank of bald was on the verge of having to devalue its’ currency and raise interest rates…desperate times kiddies. I had lumped on Punctilios, with a degree of (ultimately misplaced) confidence. 8-(

The final Group One was the big one. The $2 million Patison Canadian International. The European entry looked to be strong on paper. The favourite was Electrocusionist from Italy and ridden by Mick Kinane. It was last been seen winning the Benson and Hedges at York…err Juddmonte International as it is now. Having been at York also I have to say the weather at these two events could not have been more contrasting. I have my Panama with me but feel that a bloody rain hat would be of more use to me at the moment. The Italian horse started the 8-5 favourite. Next in the betting was Coronation Cup winner Yeats from the Coolmore team, and my own personal fancy for the race. It was coming into the race off the back of an unlucky run in the Irish St Leger. I also thought, as did his trainer and jockey Keiron Fallon, that he would be suited by the soft conditions. Last year’s Irish Derby winner Grey Swallow and the German entrant Simonas made up the European contingent.

However the best the raiders could manage was a third place (originally) from Grey Swallow, subsequently demoted to fourth after an enquiry, with an 'e'! It really has to be said that he has been hugely disappointing since posting a very impressive speed figure when winning the Irish Blue Riband last season. Yeats was very disappointing also getting involved in a speed duel for the lead and fading very tamely in the straight. Another horse that has promised much and delivered little. Still both have group one victories to their names so no problems packing it off to stud. I fancy we may have seen them both on a racecourse for the last time although Grey Swallow has a Breeders Cup entry. The favourite, Electrocusionist, finished fourth. It did encounter some traffic problems from Grey Swallow, en route and was promoted to third, a touch harshly I felt. Regardless of that, in my view, he would never have been involved in the finish anyway. He just did not appear good enough.

A very unprofitable day all round financially. Thankfully, although I did my money over the weekend as a whole yesterday's win averted anything too terrible...phew to that eh?

What was that Willoughby was saying about us having the best racing in the world? I hope that today was not a precursor to Saturday at Belmont and the ‘big ones’. Let us hope that 'Team Europe' put up a better display at Belmont at the weekend.

I am flying to New York in the morning and driving down to Atlantic City just after lunch. I am really looking forward to that I have to say…I can feel some bad beat dice stories coming on can’t you boys and girls?

Got to go. Game 2 of the Series is about to start...well hopefully anyway it is raining in Chicago too 8-(

Have a nice day…just getting some practice in 8-)

Lucky I didn't come for the weather eh?

2005-10-23T13:39:00.000+01:00

Day two of the North American tour and my first visit to Woodbine.

After my stint in the Gym I got ready and headed out there.

I arrived a bit early and popped into the mall directly opposite the track for a spot of late breakfast…I am not going to say ‘brunch’. Bloody stupid expression. I exchanged texts with Shippy, the trans-Atalntic telephone link will not be in operation until Breeders Cup time...too bloody expensive until then.

I picked up my Daily Racing Form (read North American version of the ‘eggs on toast) and went for a shufty of the track…oh did I mention that it is free to get in? Bugger all, knish, gratis, not a sausage. They have a casino adjacent to the track. well they call it that it is actually a huge room entirely containing slots. I popped in and it was dreadful kiddies. Imagine that dreadful noise you hear in Vegas and AC casinos x10. Coming to a British casino soon…? God I hope not. Apparently the law does not allow table games or poker. What it does do however is contribute to prize money, and of course entrance fees to the track. Bet Wolverhampton do not do that if they finally get their 'Racino' (sic).

The track itself is very much multi purpose. On the inside is a, 7-furlong round, harness track. They race thoroughbreds during the day here and standardbreds (harness racing) in the evenings here. Outside the harness track is, a one-mile oval dirt track with chutes for races up to 7 furlongs, or the main track as they call it over here. As the weather had taken a turn for the worst, at time of writing it has been raining heavily, non-stop, for over 24 hours and is forecast to continue for the whole day, all turf races had been moved today to the dirt. This was done primarily done to protect the turf for tomorow's big races, The $2 million International, $1 E P Taylor Stakes and $1/2 Million Nearctc-H. Finally on the outside was the turf track. Unusual for a North American track as the turf course is usually on the inside. Grass is normally seen as the poorer relation over here. Good the Canadians have their priorities right. The turf track is one mile and a half in circumference and very European in its' lay out. It is a real galloping track and it certainly explains why so many European raiders do well here. The stiff nature of it explains how, in horses such as former winner Ballingary. Aiden O’Brien has had a good record here with horses that have run in the English or Irish St Legers. Yeats comes into that category in the Woodbine International. Bok applied 8-)

Feeling flushed after my ‘free pass’ into the track I decided to splash out and spent $5 (about £2.50) on securing a table right on the winning line in the ‘Finish Line’ bar. How much did all my racecourse memberships cost me this year? Each table had a TV showing sport and racing from pretty much everywhere, which was the plan because the Arsenal V Man Citeh game was on Canadian TV, albeit on a two-hour delay. Fuck me I wish it had been longer. How awful was it? I actually gave my ticket away for this game and I now think that I may need to buy the guy a present or something by way of compensation. Things are not particularly rosy in the garden of Gooner at the moment. I know we have several key injuries but I think things go much deeper than that…and as for that penalty 9-(.

I was disappointed with commentator Martin Tyler though. He said he had never seen anything like the penalty before but I distinctly remember The Master (Cruyff) and Jesper Olsen doing a similar thing, successfully I have to add, for Ajax about 20 years or so ago. When it comes to matters Cruyff my memory is pretty good. Still the best footballer I ever saw and a 40 a day man too! Although this does not mean much to me today, being a almost 9 years clean ex-smoker…it’s just so anti-social don’t you think 8-)… it was really impressive to me when I was a heavy smoker. The best player in the world, a supreme athlete and a total dude, how cool was Cruyff in his day, well still is to be honest, smoked 40 a day. Mind you I don’t suppose he was thinking any of that when he had his major heart bypass (is there any other kind?) at such an early age. Expected better from Mr Tyler, surely he should have known that.

Going back to the Prem footie on the telly. The local cable station shows 3 Premiership games every Saturday. This week the first two, Blackburn and Birmingham and Manure Versus the Scum were live whilst the Arse were on a two-hour delay.

I watched a bit of the first game whilst in the gym. My god how bad was that? It made Wimble-Chelski look like the 1970 Brazil team. Still nice to know that the Prem is the best League in the World…what’s that are you sure? Rupert Murdoch told me that it was. Give me La Liga any day. I caught the end of the Tottscum game too. I hate that game I mean who the fuck do you root for? If I really have to it has to be Manure. I think although a draw was good. Neither of them wins.

On the betting front, although I was not getting too involved, for obvious reasons, I found myself more dollars behind that I would have cared to be. However help was at hand from the Gods when, in the worst race of the day by far a truly awful maiden claimer. I copped the forecast, which paid just over $111, 5-2 winner with a 23-1 second. Only had it for 6 bucks but that was enough to turn a small profit on the day. Paid for all my ex's food, drinks, programme, dinner etc and left a nice enough profit for the bank of bald.

I left the track and stopped off at a nearby steak house called ‘Bif-coteque’ I kid you not. I almost drove straight past because it was such a ridiculous name. However the rain was now absolutely torrential. Glad I did stop though it was very nice and the food likewise. I also discovered that the owner of said steak house was a huge man in local horse racing, evidenced by the décor pictures on the wall, names of some of the rooms etc. Bloody stupid name though. Oh well the guy is a racing man perhaps it is too much to expect him to have a sense of humour too.

Suitably fed and watered I retired to my hotel room to watch game one of the World Series. I was going to watch in a sports bar but was pretty knackered so decided to watch it in the hotel.

Logged on to my ‘puter to discover Wycombe won with a 90th minute winner…”said we are top of the league etc etc…”. Checked out a mixed bag of other results and turned my attentions to the custard for game one. I also discovered that Motivator had been retired. Personally I did not think he had much chance in the Breeders Cup Turf, although it would have been nice to have seen him though. I owe him much, not least this holiday, and wish him a happy retirement as he spends the rest of his life being pampered and shagging loads of mares. To be a racehorse stallion eh?

The baseball was a good game and, for YT anyway, the right result. I have not laid any of it off so I needed that. One down 3 more needed. Game two tonight.

Barely keeping my eyes open I managed to see the last pitch, by the increasingly impressive Bobby Jenks. I did love Ozzie’s (Ozzie Guillen the Chi-Sox manager) sign langague to request his introduction to proceedings too. He gestured to the bullpen by raising his arms high in the air and then moved them as wide as he could sideways…indicating ‘I want the big fat bloke’. Jenks responded immediately by trotting onto the field. Absolute quality and no one in the team was laughing at all. It is just Ozzie's way and Jenks knew exactly what he meant. Ozzie really is a one off 8-).

The big one tomorrow…hope I get a decent night’s sleep tonight

I still haven't seen a bloody Mountie yet neither

2005-10-22T23:14:00.000+01:00

Well I’m here boys and girls.

Shit flight on the way over though. Usually I am one of those annoying people that everyone hates because…well I’m annoying…no I didn’t mean that. I have a penchant for being able to crash out on planes and sleep for hours. This is what I told everyone I was going to do. However for the first three hours plus I was kept awake by the incessant (and when I say incessant I mean EVERY 10 or 15 seconds!) and unbelievably loud screaming of a young child, about 3 or 4 years of age I reckoned. Eventually I had had enough and a splitting headache to boot too. I was on the verge of giving said child’s parents what for, when the little girl turned around and she was Downs Syndrome. I really had no idea. I was that close to losing it with both child and parents, which I thankfully did not. How embarrassing would that have been? It is not as if there would have been anywhere I could go either. Stuck on the ‘plane nowhere to hide with everyone giving you major daggers and having you down as the devil. I was that close kiddies, that close.

I finally got some sleep, eventually, although not much, by implementing plan B. The Nytol. Do you know that on the Nytol box it says, “May cause Drowsiness…” I kid you not. Of course it causes bloody drowsiness that is the whole point, it’s a fucking non prescription-sleeping tablet. If it does not cause drowsiness make sure you get your money back for Christ’s sake. Who thought of that warning? It must be a pisstake surely? If anyone is that stupid to go to work and operate heavy machinery, drive etc after taking Nytol then fuck 'em. Let them suffer the consequences. It's called Darwinism. The human race will be all the stonger for it. Surely no one could be that stupid. Could they?

I did get a bizarre e-mail from Tower Records in New York today. I have been trying to get a hold of the debut CD from Soil and Pimp, a Japanese Jazz outfit, real ‘jazz with attitude’ or ‘Def Jazz’ as it is being called. Well the marketing people have to have something to do I suppose. However it is not available in the UK yet, not even on import. It is though on a Japanese Import in the U.S…if you really want something you have to go for it don’t you? I recently checked the Tower website to discover that they can supply it. As they had it on the site I looked up any outlets of theirs on Long Island, my home of next weekend. I then e-mailed the ‘likely candidates’ asking them if they had the disc and if they were near to my hostelry. I got a reply back late last night which began, “You are in luck”, whay haay thought I…” We are very close to your hotel…” and she proceeded to give me directions. “However”, she finished, “We do not have your CD and have no plans to stock it”. Doh. Americans eh? They do have a tendency to miss the point don’t they? I don’t give a toss about the shop I want the album (are they still called albums?). I have now ordered it on line with a priority shipping thingy. Its’ the most money I have spent on a piece of music since the old ‘Rare Groove’ days when, in the pre CD (MP3) days, old vinyl was changing hands for ridiculous money. Ah well it’s only money and I am on my hols…wonder if I am still saying that if the White Sox get turned over in the Series 8-)…game one tonight kiddies. Yaay!

I spent most of the day desperately trying to stay awake to be honest. I always get pretty bad jet lag and today has been no exception. I did have a Tuina massage booked at my hotel…no it’s kosher, a proper massage no extras or anything…per-leeease. However, despite having booked it some time ago whilst in the UK, and lets be fair blog buds there are not many as organised (sad?) as I, when I telephoned to find out where they were I was told they had no appointment booked in their diary. I did give them a name of my masseur but it fell on deaf ears. I was told that I could come over to them and they would fit me in for an appointment which was nice of them dontcha think? I won’t tell you what was said but will instead let you fill in the blanks. I think you can guess though 8-). The idea of booking said massage was to try to address the jet lag by realigning and revitalising my body. I did have some magnets that my Amatsu guy gave me last week. I placed them on the 4 main acupuncture points, as instructed, and hoped that it would help. It did not appear do much good though. Then again how would I know if I would have felt worse or not…if that err makes any sense. And if you want sense what are you doing reading this blog?

Something that did make me feel better though was a water massage. I had to pick up a few things at a local mall, including a new suitcase but that one is for another time. I was ‘accosted’ by the shop proprietor and persuaded to have one of them. It was pretty marvellous I have to say, and just the tonic at that particular moment too. I don’t know if you have ever seen one but it looks like something they put you in to have a scan. You go in with your clothes on, and your head poking out of the top, and the water massages you through some sort of tube. It was certainly what the doctor ordered though. Wow. It made an old man very happy. Who needs Tuina?

I had a bite to eat at the mall, a pretty nice restaurant too, and returned to my hotel room, albeit probably a touch early. I did manage to stay up until just before 11 o’clock, although God knows how, as I wanted to try to get my body clock into some kind of normality…I suspect I have lost all the poker players at this juncture. I crashed out the moment my bald dome hit the pillow.

I woke up just before 7am which, given my usual flirtations with the demon that is jet lag was not too bad. I was in the gym before 8…am I good or what? Working out on my hols. Besides what else could I do at 8 o’clock in the bloody morning in Toronto?

More tomorrow boys and girls…hopefully after a decent night’s sleep too.

Moose Burgers all round

2005-10-21T18:08:00.000+01:00

I’ve arrived blog buddies

Mooses…Bryan Adams…Elizabeth Arden…Mounties…Jim Carey…Terence and Philip…Larry Walker…Ice Hockey…Celine bloody Dion…Molson Larger…Blokes with fur hats turned the wrong way round…Logrolling…Robert Goulet…Canada Dry…Ice Hockey…Donald Sutherland…Not quite proper dollars…beavers (fnaar fnaar)...strange French people who make out they can’t understand you, but do really, and have a propensity to be more obnoxious than the real thing, they can honest. “Je ne parle pas l'anglais" my derriere…Ice Hockey…Shania Twain…Lumberjacks…Leonard Cohen and Ice Hockey.

Thank God I fly to New York on Monday. It ain’t half cold here as well too. Brrr.

No wonder they like Ice hockey so much eh?

The Fat Lady has left the building

2005-10-20T17:58:00.000+01:00

The two teams who will contest this years' World Series has now been decided. Undeterred from the heartbreak of Monday evening the Houston Astros clinched their first ever World Series berth last night in St Louis to face the Chicago White Sox, beginning in the Windy City on Saturday evening. I actually backed the 'Stros at 66-1 to win the World Series...last year! That was when they LOST to the Cardinals in the National League Championship Series.... grrr. Right place wrong time eh 8-). The bookmakers have pretty much priced it up the same way I did as well, with 'tips' (11/10) the best price available for the Texans. I do not think there is too much value in that to be honest so I am going to let it ride. Not what one should do but sod it; the Chi Sox owe me absolutely nothing so I am going to have something to (seriously) cheer for in the Fall Classic. Should be fun too as I am going to be in Atlantic City for games three and four. I will try to find one of the larger sportsbooks to watch them, to cheer, scream, moan, shout, complain…you know the deal ‘male primates at work’. Actually, due to the fact that I am a teetotaller and do not drink beer; I may even scratch my arse several extra times too. Us blokes eh...what are we like. Still haven’t decided whether to pack my White Sox shirt. I really DO have one.

I see the quiz team survived without me on Tuesday. New signing from FC Lewisham, Pete ‘the Lewisham Lip’ Birks forming a fearsome strike partnership up top with Martin ‘the Anorak’ Farragher by all accounts. An impressive second place no less for ‘Busted Flush’. I did put forward a new name for the team to Club Captain Lady Jo. The name was the, somewhat puerile, all right VERY puerile, ‘Liquor and Poker Club’. However, despite her Ladyship sharing my penchant for 8-year-old humour, this was rejected by the rest of the team member’s…grrr. Bloody grown ups eh! Bet no one got the question right about the Russian Alphabet. See they would have won if I was there…could happen. Especially if I cheated 8-)

The final piece of the jigsaw arrived at the factory today. Once again I am indebted to my old mate, and Radio One DJ (Sunday nights 11-1…shameless plug…best show on radio you know!) Gilles Peterson, who came through with his promise of sending over a bunch of his shows from the year, 10 to be precise. Didn’t expect that many but very grateful. Thanks also to Becky, his PA for ‘cherry picking’ the best shows throughout the year. I had a few of them on old-fashioned audiocassette, but these are obviously on CD. Does anyone remember when we had to make do with two cans and a piece of string? So I now have the soundtrack for the holiday…and EVERY holiday needs a soundtrack I’m sure you’ll agree. Many thanks to Gillesy P for his generosity and stepping up for me again.

So that’s it. I am all packed and ready to go. I leave for the airport at about 5.00 am and fly just after 8. I can check in online so that is one hassle out of the way anyhow.

The next time we speak blog buddies I shall be on the ‘other side’…never eaten Moose before wonder if they sell it?

Yankee Doodle Baldy

36 hours and counting

2005-10-19T21:56:00.000+01:00

Well it finally arrived…and fuck me they cut it fine. That Ada is such a tease eh? The ticket came today via DHL and rather lovely it is too as you can see 8-)

Not too much today boys and girls…have a few ‘puter problems at the moment. Not my fault for a change either. I had a wireless connection installed yesterday and it appears to have screwed up somewhat. It may of course be BT's fault, entirely possible knowing how crap they are, so it may be ok again tomorrow. It was working fine last night and this morning. So for now it is GPRS via the dog and bone. I really do hate technology you know and it hates me too I'm sure...8-(

Well Titi is back and how eh blog buddies. What a stunning goal to equal Wrighty’s record too. Not sure about the badge pointing after the second goal though. I have a very bad feeling about him still being one of ‘God’s chosen few’ next season. I really hope I am wrong. More than you will ever know kiddies.

I would like to applaud the large number, and very loud, travelling support. I was really pleased to hear the chants of “Ian Wright, Wright, Wright, immediately after Titi broke the record. I thought that it showed a lot of class. I liked that.

I almost missed it all too. I actually got in late, missing the start by a few minutes. After about 15 minutes or so I saw something that I thought could only be an apparition…no it can’t be I thought. By now I had moved closer to the TV desperately trying to catch a glimpse. Aaaagh. It was true, my worst nightmare had been realised…I had been right all along. Gilberto Silva, a man who is not fit to wear the Arsenal shirt, a man who is a total embarrassment to every supporter who pays his/her money every week had been made captain!!!!!!!

Faced with this insult, and of course once I had done a double AND triple take to make sure it was true, I made the decision not to watch and to turn the televison over. However, at this exact point, Reyes came off to be replaced by ‘the skipper’ and I stayed with it.

How can that piece of shit captain Arsenal Football club… Frank McClintock…Pat Rice…Kenny Sansom…Tony Adams…Patrick Vieira…Thierry Henry….Gilberto fucking Silva. An insult to every one of them. If I do not renew my ticket next year I may well have picked the right time I feel.

Although it was a decent performance I do think that Sparta were truly dreadful. We have had some pretty difficult groups over the years in the Champions League but there is no doubt that this is not one of them. This must be the easiest group we have faced in our CL history. Perhaps I am being harsh, I really do hope so, but I fear we will struggle against the better sides when push comes to shove. I certainly cannot believe the statements attributed to Le Boss in the past few days that he is happy with the current squad and is not certain to buy anyone. I do hope (and think) that it is kidology. He cannot believe this for one moment…can he?

Lots to do…less than 36 hours to do it…yaaay

Don't count your chickens

2005-10-18T17:46:00.000+01:00

Reports of the 'circumferentially challenged woman's' concert plans were obviously somewhat premature ..and as everyone knows it ain't over until she has belted one out.

She certainly hasn't paid her hotel bill yet.

Details of last night's dramatic finish here

The Astros were one out away, and two runs to the good, in the top of the 9th until the Cardinals mercurial Dominican first baseman Albert Pujols hit a three run homer off the previously unhittable Houston closer Brad Lidge to keep the series alive. Pure drama and just about everything that makes this sport so great.

It is all back to St Louis now for game 6 (and 7?). I wonder what kind of psychological effect will it have on the 'Stros?

Bet the White Sox are enjoying the rest though eh?

I was planning to go to the pub quiz tonight as a member of the 'reprobates are us' team. However I forgot that my arse was on telly tonight...what I mean is that God's team are playing Sparta Prague live on ITV2. It was a spin up but I plumped for the armchair and throwing things at the TV when Gilberto's face appears.

3 days and counting...very slowly unfortunately 8-)

You can put it on the booaard YES

2005-10-17T18:41:00.000+01:00

Music: My kind of Town : Frank Sinatra...sorry Pete. Couldn't resist it. Very appropriate today though.

The 2nd longest drought in the whole of baseball has come to an end. The Chicago White Sox will be making their first World Series appearance in 46 years. The other Chicago team, the Cubs, are the only team that has waited longer. 1945 being their last appearance for the long suffering 'bleacher creatures'.

Venezuelan Ozzie Guillen has also become the first foreign born manager to ever get to a World Series. I know what you're thinking it is alright for loads of the players to be foreign in the land of opportunity eh? Not so many of them in charge though...hmmm.

In the end it was fairly comfortable as the 'Good Guys' ran out 4-1 winners over, it has to be said, a pretty flat looking LA Angels. The long season of baseball definitely seeming to have taken its' toll on the latter.

Their opponents may even be known this evening as Houston face St Louis with a 3-1 lead and just needing one more victory to get to their first World Series ever. Incidentally, the Astros were 'tipped up' to me by Martin Farragher at Lady Jo's housewarming party several weeks ago...I do hope he backed that up with some of the Gripper Millions as well 8-) The more perceptive of you will be thinking..."How can that be their first appearance in the Fall Classic and yet the two Chicago clubs have gone longest without getting there?" Well score yourself a point for observation blog buddies and one for endurance too, most people do not get this far when perusing my 'torrent of shite'. The reason for that is that the Houston Astros only came into being in 1962. The year of 'our bald'. Yep the year YT was born. I had no hair then and, after 43 years, I'm well on my way. Doing quite nicely thank you. You see I just CHOOSE not to grow hair. It's a life choice. It was also the same year that the New York Metropolitans (later shortened to the Mets) came into being.

The Astros played their first ever game on April 10th 1962 beating the Chicago Cubs by 11-2 (the Cubbies were even shit then!). At this time they were known as the Houston Colt 45's (a rather unfortunate name given the city's latter day reputation for it's high murder rate and gun crime levels). They then became the Astro's in 1965. The name change was due to their moving into a new home, the Houston Astrodome. The ballpark was heralded at the time as, "The Eighth Wonder of the World." The Astrodome was the largest structure of its kind and the world's first multi-purpose, domed stadium.

Pretty impressive in the 60's but a pile of shit in the 90's. Therefore in 2000 they moved into a new stadium, Minute Maid Park (formerly Enron Field but they don't like to talk about 'Enron' in Houston 8-)). Right tasty it is supposed to be too. Several friends went out for last year's All Star Game, including the afore mentioned Mr Farragher, and all came back with glowing reports.

Well they are not there yet, he said, reviving oh so painful memories of this time last year when I telephoned MLBI for World Series tickets between the Yankees and Cardinals...I even booked the internal flights and hotel. And that was with the Yanks 3-0 up, not 3-1. Sobs uncontrollingly. It would appear that the bok is in truly in place. Sorry Houston fans.

Back to the Chi-Sox. Personally I am pleased they have got there actually. As I have said before I have spent a fair bit of time in Chicago (and a seriously great city it is too). I do have a soft spot for both of its' ball clubs, although if truth be known a litle bit more for the 'Northsiders', the Cubbies. "The beautiful confines of Wrigley Field", still the greatest place on the planet to watch a ball game.. and I got to go when Harry Caray (the legendary announcer) was still alive too. Oh be joyful. I really thought it was the day when he was going to fall out of the box too. A little esoteric humour for the Cubs fans there. Esoteric means shit by the way...have I ever told you how lucky I am ? 8-)

As far as the American League Pennant went I had laid off sufficiently to the point where it did not matter who won financially. I do now of course have a small wager at 50-1 for the World Series. I am still not sure if I am going to lay it off. I do of course know what I SHOULD do. Last year I did not lay off my 16-1 St Louis against Boston, but that was personal and wholly steeped in my own bias and petty irrational prejudice. Isn't sport great? 8-). This year is different. I shall see.

If Houston do get there then I think Chicago will be favourites. However, if St Louis, climb Everest, swim the Channel and win the Grand National to get there, then they would be the favourites. I would price up Chicago at 8-11 and Houston at 11-10. If I can get some 'up the arm' (11-8) or better about the latter I may be tempted to do the 'right thing'. I still fancy gambling though 8-). Well doing the right thing all the time is boring isn't it?... as I have been discussing with a 'friend' recently. Sometimes you've just gotta gamble.

Whoever gets there however, game one will be defintely be in Chicago on Saturday evening. The American League won the All Star Game so the AL team gets home advantage for the Series, as decreed by Commisioner 'Bud' Selig. I shall of course be in the corner of a sports bar in Toronto somewhere. I may even take my Chicago White Sox black alternate (read Sunday and holiday) jersey with no 72 and, Hall Of Fame catcher Carlton Fisk's name emblazoned across the back to wear as a token of my support. I know at my age too. Embarrassing really isn't it?

Not to worry though I will be taking the lap top 'across the pond' with me, no not Hampstead Pond derrr, so I will be available to bore you shitless blogging about it. Yaay...well maybe not then.

Just because I am having a holiday doesn't mean you're getting one! No siree Bob.

Anyway I'm off to obsess about what to pack

Bald of Sport

2005-10-16T16:45:00.000+01:00

Well while I was sunning myself, looking down my nose at the ‘proles’ and getting all mushy and soppy about dead racehorses yesterday there was of course a shit load of sport taking place. Just the tonic for all the sad feckers like me.

So following on from my pervious entry here's what was happening whilst I was at HQ.

Firstly I have to say. What is going on at the Arse’??? I haven’t seen the game and was told that we missed a whole load of chances, which should have secured a comfortable victory, but if you don’t put them away can you really complain? I know we have a lot of injuries at the moment but surely our squad should be better than this? Looks like we have now lost Freddie for a long period too with a hamstring. Very worrying. I will repeat what I have said several times before though. I do not think selling Patrick was the biggest problem; the money was just too good for a player past his best. The real problem was not replacing him. Our central midfield is mediocre, average at best, and cannot compete with any of the better midfields in the Prem’. It is not just our ‘midfield ball watcher’, who incidentally did not play yesterday but all of the options available to the manager. I have no problem with a transition period, I mean God knows we have had a fantastic decade or so, but not it means ignoring the problems and doing nothing to address them. This currently seems to be the policy being adopted and it is most disturbing. That is not transition Mr Wenger it is losing the plot. I have every confidence Le Boss will get it right in the long term (I bloody hope so!) and all the knee jerk reactions do seem to be a bit over the top. However at this stage the best we can hope for is a distant third, which we should achieve comfortably given the return of most of the injured players, most notably Titi. No disrespect to West Brom, and good luck to them too, but we really should not even be considering about losing to them...and fucking Kanu (he COULDN'T when he was at Highbury) scoring his first goal for a year. Cows arses and banjos huh. When you are out of form eh?

In other footie Sheffield United continued their amazing run…but then so did Reading again today. That is going to be a race I feel. Gotta be happy about the Blades start overall though.

Norwich threw away another two home points against those loveable South London scallywags Millwall. There fans are misunderstood apparently...it would help if they learnt to fucking speak properly though don't you think? Mind you that 'Norridge' ship has long since sailed. If you're going to get it wrong eh. The way things are going Nigel Worthington could even end up getting the tintack. In my opinion, that would be ridiculous but, by all accounts, the fans have started calling for it and the directors are not going to start sacking themselves are they now? Only one answer when that happens! Lets be ‘aving you Nigel? I would worry about things if you hear the lovely (sic) Delia shouting that mate, especially if she's been at the sauce again...err allegedly.

In League One a disappointing home draw for Mad Dog’s Bees but they are still handily enough placed and I have to be very happy with the 'apple' (20-1) each way. Trouble is you cannot help thinking that he does not have a big enough to squad to either cover the injuries or make many changes. I still wouldn’t bet against him though. A raving lunatic but the potential to be an outstanding manager.

In the same division the ‘latest addition to my portfolio’, that I backed in the week, Huddersfield chalked up another convincing victory and, with Southend losing took over at the top of the table. As I said before I really liked the look of them on Monday and am glad I jumped in quick and took the price as it has now gone.

One rung lower Wycombe, very disappointingly, failed to beat 2nd from bottom Rushden at home that has to be considered 2 points dropped. They are now 1 point off the top. The only bright spot is that it was their second consecutive clean sheet, the first time they have done so this season.

I am thinking of having a small saver on Grimsby (who returned to the top on Friday with a 3-0 away win) and was going to do so last week. Wish I had done. The 11-1 is a distant memory now. I may take a bit of 8-1. I think they are a pretty decent team. You remember Grimsby dontcha…they were the team who…

On the baseball front the Chicago White Sox are one win away from their first World Series appearance since 1959. So much for my ‘4-3’s’ I reckon. Continuing their very impressive record on the road they have now taken both games so far played in California. If they do make it I am even toying with the idea of letting my 50-1 bet for the World Series ‘riding’ and not laying it off. Not sure yet. Let’s see if they get there first. My reasoning is that I have won plenty of money out of the baseball this year and I may just have a gamble. Hmm, more dice vouchers...wotcha think? The bet would have been more than paid for after all. Several times over in fact. Can’t help thinking we haven’t heard the last of ‘that play’ though.

In the National League Houston have taken a one game lead over the St Louis Cardinals 2-1. I watched most of game 3 last night when I got in, joining the game in the 2nd inning. Roger Clemens was once again superb for the ‘Stros. Turning back the clock once again in a performance totally belying his age. There is still much life left in this one I feel. A cracking game though. God I love October.

Overall it has been a good weekend and it has set me up nicely for Friday and the proceeding 11 days.

5 days and most definitely counting I can tell you.

The longest post

2005-10-16T11:49:00.000+01:00

Howdo blog buddies

Had a pretty full day yesterday so no time for blogging. Mind you, I will be making up for that today…but then you knew that already didn’t you.

As well as it being full, I had a really nice day to be honest. Sometimes I (we?) do take things for granted and don’t stop to realise just how good things are or similarly how lucky am I. I do like being me sometimes. Have I ever told you that?

I went to Newmarket for Champions Day, always an excellent day’s racing, and I whilst I was there realised a couple of things. Well reinforced rather than realised anyway.

The first is that horse racing is a fuck of a good sport and really is a wonderful way to spend a leisure day. Secondly, Newmarket is one of the finest places on this earth to watch it. They both might seem a bit obvious but it doesn’t hurt to say and think it now and then. I ain’t half a lucky fucker sometimes you know 8-).

I set off for HQ about 10 O’clock and after an uneventful journey and leisurely drive got to, a sun drenched, Newmarket just after midday. The weather was glorious, a really beautiful autumnal day…Oh yeah I listened to a tape of Chris Rock’s most recent HBO Special en route and very funny it was too. He keeps getting better and better. Very clever too. Top man.

So refreshed, humoured and ready for action I headed for the Annual Members bar for a cup of rosy and a perusal of the ‘Eggs on toast’ taken on one of the benches just outside the bar. Very serene, very English, (extremely pretentious 8-). Doesn’t get much better than that, with the sun shining too.

Sitting there I noticed crowds gathering around this particular area and, after establishing that they were not after any tips or my thoughts for the day (as if), realised exactly why they WERE there. It was for the unveiling of the, long awaited statue of the wonderful Persian Punch, who sadly passed away at Ascot some 18 months ago. For those of you who do not know much about racing Persian Punch was a bit of a ‘People’s Champion’ kind of a racehorse. Although a very good horse in his own right he was never quite absolutely top class. However what he was, was an unbelievably brave horse with an incredible penchant for winning races that he had already lost. What I mean is that, after looking beaten he would find a second wind, a third wind etc. When Punch died he was 11 years of age, very old for a flat horse, and was still producing breathtaking feats of courage to win races he had no right to win.

The, very sad, day he died I was actually there although I shouldn’t have been. I was due to have flown to Ireland that morning for day two of the Punchestown Festival. However, due to a major flood on the Thameslink line and subsequently missing the only St Pancras train that would have got me to Luton on time, I was unable to catch my flight. I hurriedly phoned my friend Gary and took the consolation prize, a Wednesday afternoon at Ascot. I had the day off work so wasn’t going to waste it. He had just run in the Sagaro Stakes and, after leading for much of the way in his customary front running style, had been eased down by jockey Martin Dwyer, being allowed to come home in his own time. However as he passed the post, and when he had trotted immediately in front of where Gary and I were sitting, he appeared to wobble and collapsed. The screens went up, as is the custom when a horse is down injured, and for the next 15 minutes or so, it only seemed like 15 hours, an eerie silence consumed a, pretty large, Ascot crowd. Although you would never have known it. Trainer David Elsworth and owner Geoff Smith had arrived on the scene and, because of the screens making it unable for us to see, our ‘bins’ were transfixed on owner and trainer who we could see. Sadly the tears that eventually appeared on the face of both, as well as a large section of the crowd too to be honest, told their own story and ‘Punch’ was no more. The rest of the afternoon was one of the weirdest experiences I have ever had, at a relatively crowded racecourse. Hardly anyone spoke and there was a very eerie silence in places that were usually vibrant, despite there being several more races the usual buzz and hub when the horses were running just was not there. An entire crowd mourned. Racing and race-goers had lost one of its’ true friends and most popular characters. I don’t think Gary and I said half a dozen words to one another all afternoon. Maybe not so unusual for him, but me…? Exactly! I remember the day like it was yesterday kiddies. I actually won money on the day and didn’t give a shit about it. Most unusual for YT. It didn’t seem to matter. God I wished I’d been at Punchestown…or did I?

Since that day a group of fans and racing people set themselves up with the goal of raising the money for a statue of the wonderful old warrior at racing’s HQ, Newmarket. I have seen them on many occasions and have even contributed myself. On one occasion receiving a signed photo by Martin Dwyer, Punch’s last jockey that hangs alongside my other array of sporting memorabilia. Just below the signed photo of Chippy Brady and to the right of Tony Adams. Esteemed company indeed eh? Well because of these fans contributions to the funds, today was the day for ‘an equine legend’ to be commemorated in a right and proper manner. With a wonderful statue, pictured above.

The ceremony was conducted by Brough Scott and included contributions by both owner and trainer. If you are ever at Newmarket why not take a look. It is situated just outside the Annual Member’s bar, just to the right of the parade ring. Who knows in time it may become as much a landmark at HQ as that of Arkle at the home of National Hunt racing, Cheltenham…not too much though I hope. The last thing we need is loads of riff raff hanging around the Annual Member’s area now do we 8-)
Well before you know it they’ll be wanting to actually come in!

The esteem in which he was held can be evidenced by the fact that he was voted the 7th most popular horse ever in the Racing Post’s poll, and subsequent book, to find the nation’s 100 favourite horses of all time. The fact that ‘Punch’ was nowhere near the class of those immediately ahead of him, or indeed many of those below mattered not. He was really was truly the people’s Champ. He was actually voted one place ahead of Dancing Brave! A bit like Nobby Stiles being voted ahead of George Best in footballese. It is an ultimate compliment to be honest.

For further info and fuck of a good read click here
I left the ceremony with a smile, respectful memories and a small lump in my throat (what can I tell you I’m just a big wussie girl sometimes) and looking forward to the day ahead.

Champion’s Day. A fantastic day’s racing, one of the best. 6 group races and the Cesarewitch, pure quality. However, such is the nature of this meeting historically, this is not a day for gambling but for watching and savouring.

I had a handful of bets, with caution, small stakes and value being the pre-requisites. Having said that I actually did quite well on the day. A small bet in the first, on one at 26, which flattered to deceive. No cigar. No real harm done.

I fancied Pride in the Champion Stakes, having thought it to have been unlucky in running in the Arc (again). I backed it on the machine at 15, that I thought was waaaay too big. I think it could have done with a little more cut in the ground, which due to the bright sunshine had been rapidly drying out, but had no real excuses on the day as he came home in second place…behind a 25-1 winner grrr…a horse with no mother or father…alright a bit harsh but the winner was taking a huge class hike. Practising my Americanisms already huh…? 8-).

The Cesarewitch was next and I have several smallish bets. I had taken the 20-1 Mirjan on Friday night before discovering it was the Pricewise horse the following morning. Inevitably it started considerably shorter. I had also had a few of the bald pennies on Mark Johnston’s Swift Sailor on Friday evening at 24 on the machine. I was quietly pleased with myself to see it go off at around half of those odds (12-1). I was concerned that the ground may have dried up too much for these two though. My final, and smallest, bet was a little interest on ‘the handicap horse of the season’ Sergeant Cecil. The stats were all against it having already won the Pitman’s Derby (Northumberland Plate) and the Ebor. However such has been the improvement of this game gelding (that’s the thanks he gets eh!) and the high draw, I waded in…well splashed a couple of toes anyway. I had told Shippy earlier in the day that, had it not been so badly drawn I would have been very interested in King Revo. I did not play it. Therefore imagine my disdain when a furlong or so out King Revo was in a clear lead and looking a certainty. I tell you kiddies your humbald blogster’s head was not the place to be at that point. Thoughts such as ‘you win some you lose some’ and ‘that’s the way the cookie crumbles’ reverberated in my empty and somewhat disturbed head…no honest 8-). However as they came below the distance Alan Munro, another superb ride from the comeback jockey of the year, was making ground hand over fist on ‘ the Sergeant’ and in the shadow of the post…oi oi…which was nice 8-).

I did not have another bet on the day but was still in the placepot, the Champion stakes 25, 12 and 25-1 and the Ces’, the winner apart, producing a similar skinner for the ‘pot’ had helped to reduce the potential number of benefactors somewhat.

I managed to sneak into third in the Group 2 (fillies) Rockel Stakes thanks to Jim Bolger’s Abigail Pett, despite traffic problems en route.

It was all left to the Jockey Club Cup, scene of Persian Punch heroics in days gone by, I had two left in. The 5-4 favourite, and well known ‘dodgepot’ Millenary…or should I say as mad as a hatter?...Sorry about that. I’ll get my coat… and an unexposed German horse that could have been anything. It was ‘something’. It actually turned out to be a lump of shit, totally outclassed, trailing in some way behind the others 8-). The favourite however was looking to be at it’s ‘quirky worst’ and was not complying with his pilots wishes. With a furlong to run he was in 5th and seemingly going nowhere. However Richard Quinn managed to get one final effort out of the Doncaster Cup winner near the line to snatch third VERY late on…phew. Job done. A nice profit on the day and a nice way to say goodbye to the old place for the winter (not that again!).

I made my exit just before the last race and had decided to stop off at Swynford paddocks at Six Mile Bottom just outside Newmarket…in a valley 6 miles from the town…s’easy really. Had myself a lovely meal and left very, full and contented.

My journey home was going to be via the ‘long route’, via Enfield, as I had some errands to run. I had to pop into Andy Ward’s on Game 4 Life business. Nothing sinister blog buddies just ‘business’ 8-). It is always good to see Andy and this was no exception. He makes a pretty mean cup of ‘rosy lee’ too so he does. Thanks for that.

From there I was due to meet a racing friend of mine, Paul, to drop something off to him. He was staying at his sisters in Ponders End…well someone has to live there come on…and as I was in the area had arranged to meet. I actually met him at Ponders End Tescos…at 9.00 on a Saturday night. I know I make with the self-deprecation a lot but I used to have a social life kiddies, a good one too. I used to go out clubbing 5 nights a week, hardly ever to used to pay to get into clubs either. I used to get invited to loads of fuck off parties and what am I doing now? Walking around fucking Tescos on a Saturday night. Yep after meeting Paul I ended up doing my shopping. Aaaaagh. Saturday night? It ain’t good you know.

Single white male would like to meet similar for friendship and shopping trips to Tescos on Saturday evenings. Apply box number RUSAD2.

There can be little doubt blog buddies, my life as I knew it is over 8-(

Can I ask that if any of you ever see me pushing a trolley around a supermarket on a Saturday night please shoot me. It’s ok it is perfectly humane. My life is over. Does anyone have Jack Kervorkian’s phone number?

I took a slow drive down the A10 contemplating this… also aware of the fact that I was actually nicked for speeding on this stretch of road about 18 years ago. I think I was more embarrassed about the fact that I was pulled over whilst driving an Austin Allegro (rust and all aggro?) at the time. It meant I actually had to admit owning it. First car darlings, first car. I of course gave my name as ‘Boy racer’. Wish I hadn’t. They kept me in that bloody cell for ages.

Arrived at Chez Baldman having had a really nice day, realisation of my life being over apart of course 8-(.

Phew that was a long one wasn’t it?...as the actress said to the…no never mind.

I’ve proof read the fucker a couple of times but if there are any typos…then make it up. I really do need to spend less time doing this you know. Who’d have thought 20 years ago I would spending all my time blogging and my Saturday night’s walking ‘round faraway supermarkets…”we were evicted from our whole in the ground”

I’m off to Sainsburys…well it is Sunday!

Oz is good

2005-10-14T17:29:00.000+01:00

Almost finished the first series (of Oz) and I am really beginning to get into it. As Steve Leighton did allude to, when you get to know the characters, and all their depth and dimensions, it really starts to get you. I have series 2 and 3 to watch and my DVD man (everyone should have one you know) has told me he has 4 and 5 waiting 'in the wings'... things by halves? Me? I suspect however that most of you have seen it already, it having been on C4 for a number of years apparently. Another boat that left me on the island kiddies. It was shown very late at night, the early hours, by all accounts so most of the poker players would have probably seen it. I can feel another obsession coming on. I will be taking series 2 away with me. Mind you I have a list of DVD's to buy in the U.S. so I may have a new one by the time I get back. More about which another time.

I was thinking...not too hard thankfully. What would fans of Oz be known as. Ozzies? Ozzers? Just a thought. I still have far too much free time on my hands don't I.

I have really switched off at work this week I can tell you. I need to make a real effort to get myself up for next week...well Monday thru Thursday lunchtime. Oooh just lost a day and half right there. I feel better already. I always switch off too early before holidays it really is a bad habit of mine. Still what could they do about it anyway? I work for a local authority 8-)...aren't unions great...yaaay. That's the spirit eh? Bet you're glad you pay your Council Tax now I'd wager, especially if you live in Camden. Let's all take next week off...?

I am going to Newmarket tomorrow for Champion Stakes Day so that should be fun. An unbelievable card of 6 Group races and 'the Ces' (you are not expecting me to spell it are you). Actually it will be my last visit to HQ this season and the last flat meeting I attend...in this country anyway 8-)...before the spring. That will be it for ‘the ferrets’ and me, as I heard Alistair Down once describe the flat, until the other side of Aintree. Still always sad to say goodbye to Newmarket for the year...no IT WILL BE sad not me...well yeah saying goodbye to a racecourse is not the most sane and intelligent way to behave, and is a bit sad what can you do? Only 151 days to Cheltenham by the way? Just wait until the February updates!

I am still feeling a bit restless and undecided about work and career at the moment. I have had a few tentative enquiries/suggestions from people if I should become available. Only one telling me to fuck off too 8-). I am however going to wait until I have had my break, at which time I will have a clear head (after doing my bollocks on the craps tables...yeah right!) and will look at things sensibly and rationally. Always a first time you know.

What else is happening? Well Wimbledon has been unkind to us this week. 3 bets and 3 losers. Ouch that hurts...especially a week before your hols too. A dog that wasn't good enough on Tuesday followed by two more losers today. The first a pretty unlucky loser, beaten two short heads despite a number of mishaps en route, and the latter beaten a fair way into second, very much on merit. After Tomorrow's 'festivities' at Newmarket, and of course assuming I even fancy anything to have a bet on, 'I will stay out of the line of fire' of our bookie friends (sic) until I land in North America...."What no NFL?"...."Especially no bloody NFL!". Free money my arse!

A wonderful weekend of baseball awaits and to hell with sleep patterns eh kiddies.... the baseball zombies are walking the streets. It must be October. Looking forward to that in any case.

Anyway. If you've got no socks you can't pull 'em up.

Play ball.

A great bloke to have if you are putting up a few shelves

2005-10-13T17:08:00.000+01:00

The short list, of 30, for the FIFA Player of the Year has been released today and amongst a list of the usual suspects, such as Titi, Pig Boy Rooney, Steven Gerrard and Jay Jay Okocha! (aren't FIFA politics wonderful?) is 'John Fashanu with dreadlocks' himself, 'the thinking man's Peter Crouch'....Didier Drogba. Now fair play to what Mourinho got out of him last year and the same to Wimble-Chelski who were by far and away the best team in the Prem'' over the season but, come on. How the hell can you put someone on the short list for the World Player of the Year Award...the BEST player in the World no less... when that player cannot trap a bag of fucking cement. Not an anti-Chelski rant blog buddies. I have no qualms with Fat Frank, Essien and Robben being nominated but Drogba...do me a favour. FIFA on the ball as usual eh?

On the subject of Peter Crouch, a man who turns like a bottle of milk, I did actually see a few highlight snippets of the England game on Saturday. Can I then ask you all this. Was I the only one who expected to see Jeremy Beadle walk on the pitch every time he got the ball?...perhaps walking out of the area towards him where he had been disguised as a goalpost...fuck that was the drug thing sorry...I mean why? Do you think Sven Gordon had a bet with someone to see how far he can go? Perhaps along the lines of "I'll show the scumbag press for messing about in my private life. Now I'll really fuck with their heads". Have you got a better excuse? It quite clearly has nothing to do with football has it? Peter Crouch. A great man to have on the firm if you need a few shelves putting up though.

Next week Luke Young. How the fuck did that happen....?

I really do need this holiday you know.

No video evidence in baseball

2005-10-13T07:48:00.000+01:00

after going to the front page click on the link for video highlights to watch one of the most bizarre plays in the history of the baseball play-offs...completely inexplicable.

Sox and Angels one-one by the way...off to California for Friday.

You would like to have the air miles the Angels players have clocked up this week.

The Baldbino