You may want to make yourself a flask and a few sandwiches as it’s gonna be a long one today kiddies…as the actress said to the…no never mind.
I started the day with a row…of sorts anyway…with the company formed by former bookmaker William Hill. They are certainly not so anymore that is for sure! I could not believe the price on offer about Fondmort for the Robin Cook Gold Cup in the paper so sullied forth. Unfortunately nor could renowned ‘bookie basher’ Tom Segal who had made it his ‘Pricewise’ selection. Subsequently the entire country was trying to get on. Making the call at around 8.29, they open at 8.30, to assume my place in the queue, I also logged on to the laptop to try to secure the 9-1 there. I wasn’t looking for a lot to be honest but, after accessing the web site, found I was being offered even less!
The online Hills site told me I could have 0 pounds and 0 pence on the race. I thought this must have been some kind of mistake, possibly something they had decided to do to prevent all people from getting on the Pricewise horses (2 of the 3 this morning were best priced with the firm)...and yes, 'bookmakers' DO really do that kind of thing. Eventually my phone call was answered at 9.45…and totally predictably, it had been cut by 33% to ‘half a stretch’ (6-1). I of course advised them to convert their 6-1 into a suppository, err, as you do.
I waited another 15 minutes or so before telephoning the Internet Customer Services to find out why I had been ‘knocked back’ on the 'Net. The ultra polite, but somehow very distant… don’t you find ‘customer service (sic) agents’ always are like that?…indeed informed me that it was not a blanket policy but purely a personal one. I was informed that I am unable to have not one penny on the ‘Net with Hills on any horse or dog race. To put it bluntly, the fuckers have barred me! I know I have had a good year, particularly at Wimbledon, but I am hardly Alex fucking Bird Jeez’! I think they are still upset when we backed 12 winners out of 14, at some pretty fancy prices too 8-), at Wimbledon last spring. It appears that they cannot forgive me for this. Wankers eh? I have had a winning year but not massively so and besides, if I have hit anyone this year it has not been Hills but, more, so Bet £3.65 to be honest, on baseball especially. I did enquire if it would be ok to have a double on the winner of Big Brother and the first race at Portman Park but he laughed and declined to answer. I actually suspect if I wanted a £100 double on the above I would proabably get knocked back on that as well. Bookmakers my arse!
As it turned out Fondmort appeared to be a very unlucky loser but more about this later.
I got to the course early as Jim Lewis was to perform the ‘ashes laying ceremony’ of his beloved Best Mate. However much more poignant than this was the fact that his wife, childhood sweetheart and constant companion Valerie had sadly lost her 6-month battle with cancer just a few days ago. I am as guilty as anyone about over sentimentalising my sporting heroes, equine or human, but this tragic event way transcended any horse, even Bessie. As was expected (not so) 'Lucky Jim' conducted himself with impressive aplomb.
As Alistair Down said in this morning’s Eggs on Toast it shows the measure of the man that he even kept this engagement with far more important things on his mind. There was hardly a dry eye in the house, and the tears were not for a racehorse either. A very sad ceremony.
The day itself? Well. Once again the weather was glorious. I was amazed to discover that that Lingfield had been abandoned due to frost. It was a lovely sunny day here and about 8 or 9 degrees.
The early exchanges with the ‘old enemy’ were not so bright. As if to prove many of the points I made yesterday I got chinned a few times in the early exchanges, and how!
I declined to have a bet in the first where 3 of the first 4 in the (very) early Triumph Hurdle betting were to cross swords. As it turned out it was an excellent race with the ‘big 3’ having the race to themselves and going clear from a long way out, the spoils eventually going to the Nicky Henderson trained Asfoun who turned the tables, albeit being weighted to do so, with his recent conqueror Fair Along. The latter finished third with the pair being split by Paul Nicholls' Turko. The horse I will be taking out of the race though is 3-year old gelding Shannon Springs, a hurdles debutant for Andrew Turnell. Allowed to come around in his own time, by that I mean neglecting to take on the principals who were going at a breakneck pace, and allowed a very good view of his hurdles this 30.000 Guineas purchase out of the Barry Hills stable could definitely be one to follow, as he will come on a lot for the run I reckon. Finishing a fairly tenderly ridden 6th in probably the hottest novice hurdle of the season is no disgrace I reckon. One for the notebook for me.
On to race 2 and my first bet of the day. This was the race to be contested by Robin Cook withdrawal, and one in whom I had made an investment for the race, Made in Japan…bloody Hills didn’t refuse that bet did they grr! I secured a pretty decent price 4.5 and at tapes time it was showing at an SP of 5-2. Well what to tell you? At the top of the hill it was absolutely cruising and going better than anything. I am not sure at what price it was trading on the ‘machine' but I suspect it was less than the ‘bottle and a half’ at race time. However as he jumped the third last he made a fairly untidy blunder, although not a really terrible one in my book. At this point he just appeared to down tools, and maybe sulked? I could be being unfair to him, as he may have just been winded. Similarly he would, ideally, have preferred slightly quicker conditions underfoot than he encountered yesterday, but I cannot help thinking that this horses chasing career has been very disappointing. Especially so given is impressive record as a novice hurdler, just failing to secure the difficult treble of novice grade one novice races at Cheltenham, Aintree and Punchestown, when failing by a rapidly diminishing short head against Cherub in the latter. I remember it well as I was yards away from the finish. I also backed the horse, long-term, for the Triumph last year, at 60 on Betfair, so it owes me nothing anyway.
A disappointing result and it also saw the (early) demise of my Placepot. Even more galling when my original perm had included the eventual winner, Tysou, a quick first two races double for the Henderson / Mick Fitzgerald combination. I believe the mantra here is 'never change your mind' eh?
My first decent bet of the day, of two, was on the Nicky Henderson / Mick Fitzgerald charge…you’re waaaaaay ahead of me aren’t you…The Market Man. Due to a shitload of money for the erstwhile second favourite Moulin Riche the two geldings lined up at the tapes as joint favourites. However I would be lying if I said I did not allow myself a self satisfied grin when the Francois Doumen charge parted company with Robert Thornton at the 4th last when still travelling well. Horse and jockey were both, thankfully, unscathed. We do not celebrate these things otherwise. The Market Man continued to travel well and after jumping the last a couple of lengths clear of the Mighty Man, his closest pursuer, he always looked to be holding his rival as the line approached. I do not know what it was trading at on Betfair but would not be surprised had he done so at the ‘mythical 1.01’. Unfortunately in the last 50 yards the favourite’s stride inexplicably shortened (for a horse that had won over 3 furlongs further last time) and he was chinned on the last stride in a painful (for me anyway!) last gasp defeat, scuppering the hat trick for the boys from Seven Barrows. Aaagh, A further ‘size ten in the testicles’ arising from this defeat is that I had a decent bet on the winner last time on his seasonal reappearance in the Grade 3 handicap won by Lingo at the Mackeson meeting. I actually also felt that he had been given an illjudged and…ahem…less then ‘vigorous ride’ by Master Thomas that day and, subsequently had been accused of talking through my pocket by the reprobates I refer to as friends. Well I could easily say that I am ‘not one of those people who don’t like to say I told you so’ but I’m not so I will. Hah! Told you. Grrr!
What race three lacked in quantity it more than made up for in quality. A 4-runner novice chase with a runner each from the Pipe, Nicholls, Johnson and Jonjo O’Neil yards. The big boys. The race itself did not disappoint either…well it did me...and it was a great spectacle. Another second though. Bollox. Another horse chinned on the run in! Eventually the horse that ‘broke my heart’ was the only one I had confidently put the line…or is not now called the ‘red pen’…through. The langague coming from the members seats were as blue as the lovely sky so beautifully luminating Cleeve Hill. It’s the ‘barrow boy upbringing’ I reckon 8-)
Unlike yesterday I was having a pretty awful time of it today and two lumpy bets had made the transition into the satchels of the ‘real Anti-Christ’, the bookies.
Onto to the big one, the Robin Cook Gold Cup. An incredibly eventful race that Robin himself would have enjoyed and also the race that got most of my money back, thanks to a throwaway saver bet on an extremely lucky winner. The horse in question was Sir OJ. Last night on Betfair it had been a ridiculously priced 32. Because of this I placed a small bet at these odds. When it won (at an SP of 16-1) I was thankful for having done so. How lucky? Well let me tell you blog buddies. Approaching the third last Thisthatandother (a great name for a racehorse eh) was travelling very well in front but Fondmort seemed to be going equally as well if not better, in its’ slipstream with 'our hero' struggling. However the Paul Nicholls runner blundered badly and shipped his pilot. The hapless Fondmort and Mick Fitzgerald had nowhere to and were brought down. This left, Paul Nicholls’ other runner Le Passing in a clear lead as they approached the last two fences, at least 10 lengths by my reckoning. Sir OJ, during all of this, had been struggling to keep up with the leaders in about 7th or 8th place. However after Le Passing had gone clear Paul Carberry managed to get a second run out of Sir OJ and pulled him around the outside of the field. With still 6 lengths to find a good jump at the last kept him in with a slim chance. At this point however the ‘dreaded Cheltenham Hill’ came into play and Le Passing began to wander and slow markedly. Sensing victory Carberry (definitely my favourite jockey over jumps…when he is not drinking…err allegedly) galvanised his mount and drove up the hill to ‘chin’ the desperately unlucky Joe Tizzard in the shadow of the post. Phew eh? Although I had incurred a small loss on the day I had also had a pretty lucky escape thanks to, it has to be said, a very lucky winner. I only wish I had backed it with William Hills 8-).
Just one final word on this race. AP McCoy met with an unfortunate accident on the first bend when his mount, Risk Assessor, slipped and fell. In turn AP, to use the official term ‘smashed a couple of teeth’. The tannoy announcement asking if there was a dentist in the house to tend to the former champion was amusing to say the least but when he appeared a half an hour later to ride in the Bula Hurdle, well, what can you say? Apparently he is visiting the dentist on Sunday morning before flying to Ireland where he is going to ride. And to think some people have two weeks off work, lace themselves with Dihydrocodeine and cry like a cissy girl when they have a tooth out 8-). Fuck those jump jockeys are tough. Wow!
On to the last two races. I had a small each way bet on Intersky Falcon in the Bula. I know that, the eventual winner, Harchibald looked the part but 16-1 each way about a horse that finished 6th in the Champion Hurdle. In the process he was also the best placed English trained runner in the race, and this in a season when his entire stable had a bad virus. In hindsight I could easily have had the forecast, which paid an incredible £26 on the ‘Nanny’ (Tote). I did however secure a small profit on the race so it could have been worse. The Falcon, under a canny ride from Tony ‘ I don’t cry like a bitch when I have a toothache like some people’ McCoy tried to pinch the race by going clear down the hill. However Paul Carberry on the enigmatic (in racing parlance that means ‘dodgepot’ by the way) Harchibald had the move covered to score a comfortable success. Oh well a small profit on the race. A footnote to this was another 5 out of 6 in the ‘pisspot’, although today it would have been a more modest 60p share of £370. Still enough to have covered the weekends ex’s anyway. To be fair I had already done this and showed a slight profit after they had been covered so not too bad anyway.
I stayed for the last, as I wanted to watch the Jonjo O’Neill novice hurdler Black Jack Ketchum in the Brit Insurance Novice Hurdle, as I have backed it at 8-1 for the Sun Alliance Hurdle at the Festival. It won with a minimum of fuss under Tony ‘IDCLABWIAHAT’ McCoy’…well my arms are getting tired and is now a best priced 5-1 for March. One worry however is that the team at Jackdaws Castle may opt to go the route of the three miler at the Festival, for which Cashmans have him in at a carpet (3-1). In sincerely hope not.
Oh, a last word on McCoy. A great quote from him yesterday after his accident was "You forget the pain when you ride winners". The man is an obsessive that even I can look up to!
Leaving Prestbury Park I had planned to do some shopping before stopping off at a pub/restaurant to watch the Arse make the long trek to the frozen norf’, that is St James’ Park.
I stopped off at the big Sainsburys at Witney, which is very close to the A40 turn off, to stock up on lots of yummy dead animals E-numbers and huge amounts of cholesterol. Somewhat topical too given that it is the constituency of new 39 year-old Tory Leader, 39 year-old David Cameron. He is 39 apparently. I stocked up on bald fuel and hotfooted to the Evenlode, a small pub/restaurant just outside Witney on the edge of the village of Eynesham. However, upon my arrival. I was aghast to discover that they did not show Prem football. I had been misinformed. Grrr. I was told that there was a couple of pubs in the village that would be showing it but that neither of these served food…I hadn’t eaten all day and I was starving. I am a growing lad you know. However one sometimes has to make sacrifices...I popped down to the village chippie at half time. Nice it was too.
I found the village pub with about 5 minutes gone in the game. On first perusal it did seem a little bit like a ‘We don’t like strangers ‘round ‘ese parts’ kind of hostelry but these fears were to prove unfounded. I actually ended up sitting with a local Gooner, who actually goes to a lot of the games. A friendly bunch they were, especially the Wycombe fan I met. If I wasn't so scared of seeing my own claret we could have done the 'blood brother' thing...well maybe not, it would have hurt wouldn't it? Us 'Chairboys' eh?
Well what of the game? Hmm. Where to start?
I have to say that, despite the shameful, cowardly and totally inept display from referee (?????) Gallagher, not the first time we have been shafted by this fucking imbecile, we still have ourselves to blame for our defeat. Not for the first time this season we dominated the first half, enjoying the lion’s share of possession and creating a number of clear chances, especially so in the games at West Brom and Middlesbugger this year. It seemed to me that, once again, our forwards were trying to score the perfect goal, at best, and displaying extreme arrogance at worst. No one was more guilty of this I believe than the man himself Titi. I cannot help but wonder why he did not ‘put his foot though’ several of the chances he had, instead of trying to ‘showboat’ it in. Now don’t get me wrong. I know this is ‘Henry’s way’ but I can’t help thinking that he is playing like a man who will not be with us next year. This was a point made by a caller on 606 after the game too…a sensible caller on 606? Fuck me there’s a rarity. Do you think we should have him stuffed?
Now don’t get me wrong. Titi is still the reason for sitting out in the freezing cold for a meaningless game, he is still the best player in the Prem and can do things that often makes you do a 'sex wee'…umm, is it just me? Perhaps I have revealed too much here 8-(…and he will, barring injury, almost certainly be the league’s top scorer again. However, I still think that there is something there that tells me he is on his way. Although it will break my heart, assuming he IS going, as of Patrick, I cannot wish him anything other than good things. It is going to be a wrench if/when he does decide to go, and I really hope he stays but, as I said, I am getting the vibe that he is not as much ‘at THOF’ as once he was, if that makes sense? Or is it just me?
What of the second half? Well there is no doubt that the turning point of the game was the ludicrous Gilberto sending off, despite the fact that there were all sorts going on that were going, and remained, unpunished. Two fouls in one game, the man is a tiger. A typical hometown decision by a cowardly ref it was a huge asset to an already resurgent Newcastle side and changed the whole tactical nature of the contest. Believe it or not Chris Waddle said on Radio 5 that the "sending off had no bearing on the game or result whatsoever". No I am not making it up, honest!!!! Still good to see the former Newcastle and Tottscum wide man having the ability to be objective. So no agendas there then. What a cunt eh? And one more thing, since when was being able to talk properly removed as an obstacle to becoming a BBC commentator? Inarticulate is not the half of it. And I though Garth Crooks was an appalling presenter? Jeez! As pretentious as Crooks is at least you can understand what he is actually saying.
Of course the sending off WAS the pivotal moment of the game and what of it? Well it was extremely harsh for two innocuous fouls, particularly so in light of ‘other’ stuff that was going on. On the plus side it will be one game that even Wenger cannot pick him for…yaaay. There’s the silver lining…although he has said he will appeal. I am not sure he can do that though as it was for two yellow cards? The chances of Dermot Gallagher ever rescinding an Arsenal yellow card is non existent too so I wouldn't get carried away Arsene. Gilberto sent off and banned, Cygan injured...perhaps there really is something to this religion caper after all?
A word too about Shola Amieobi. Do you know that when our midfield ball watcher was sent off he stood and applauded…hang on a minute, let’s put this into some kind of perspective. A mediocre player has been unluckily sent off for a mistimed challenge and he applauds. This wasn’t a Roy Keane leg breaker nor a Michael Essien assault. Whatever your view of Gilberto there is no malice about him at all. Worse luck sometimes to be honest as he is the most timid and lightweight (supposed) Midfield ball winner in the league. Furthermore, unless you are a Gooner, and even then it would only be for his complete ineptitude, it is pretty difficult to hate Gilberto. Anyway why would you? He is a truly appalling player and surely the kind you would want to play against you. I believe the poker venacular in this situation would be YBA. What comes around goes around Shola. You really are a classless piece of filth I have to say. Sometimes people reveal their true colours in strange circumstances.
As said, this WAS the turning point of the game (try doing what you are paid for Chris, objective analysis) and it was always going to be backs to the wall after that. The winning goal itself, although well executed, was as a direct result of our left back injury crisis. Lauren, not being naturally left sided in any way, was completely sucked into the middle leaving Solano with a free shot he never would or should have had, albeit after we had failed to clear a couple of routine crosses. Bad luck really, although it did look like it had been coming for a while to be truthful. Newcastle had certainly come out for the 2nd half with the proverbial 'fire in their bellies' and may have carved out a result anyway. Thanks to Mr Gallagher he ENSURED it.
The last word however has to go to Shearer and how he is seemingly allowed carte blanche to transgress the laws of the game at will. It is a shame that one of the finest players the Premiership has ever seen, and almost certainly the best ‘traditional number 9’ in that period, chooses to conduct himself in such a manner with regards the ‘murkier’ side of his game. As such he will never have the level of respect his talents deserve from opposition supporters. Shame really. Although more shame on a number of referees. Obviously the most blatant example of this was the Neil Lennon incident a few years ago. Apparently when OJ Simpson saw this incident, and heard that Shearer had gotten off scot free, he said ‘You must be joking’…well maybe not but you know where I am coming from. Again yesterday he was allowed by Gallagher to commit as many fouls as he saw fit, including a particularly nasty challenge, with far more malice than ‘waste of space’s’ two tackles put together. Maybe his conscience is clear…then again? Not a good way for one of the all time greats to behave though. It does him little credit. Just imagine what he would had gotten away with if he HAD gone to Old Trafford though. It doesn’t bear thinking about does it?
We really need to learn to turn our dominance into goals though. Once we have done this, then dodgy sendings off will just be a minor inconvenience, and similarly, late goals just an equal inconvenience. Instead they are currently becoming defeats to poor and mediocre teams such as West Brom, Middlsbugger and the Toon. The manager cannot continue to bury his head in the sand and has to address it.
Elsewhere on the football front it was mixed news for the bald blogster.
Wycombe scored a comfortable victory 3-0 at home and, with their two closest rivals both losing, moved 4 points clear. I know it is greedy but if only they had turned some of those draws into wins, in games they totally controlled, earlier in the season they could have been out of sight by now. Bidding to go the whole season unbeaten (probably unrealistic) is perhaps not the only thing they have in common with the Arse’ methinks! They are now a best priced 6-4 for League Two and a good Xmas period could put ‘us’ ('us', d’ya like that?) over the top. Tommy Mooney bagged a brace too. I have still not given up on my each way bet for him to be the division’s top scorer. He is playing for the league’s best team after all and Nathan Tyson is now a Notts Forest player. I still hope that a keeper and a centre half is on Gormanscum's list for Santa though. If he makes the right moves it could make the spring a very bright one for Wanderers.
In League One things were not so good. Huddersfield lost away at Bristol City but, fortunately leaders Swansea were held to a home draw by in form Colchester so did not give up much ground. Brentford on the other hand dropped yet more home points. They did however come from behind to snatch a point and extend their uneaten sequence to 7.
The big two in the Championship both continued to roll along. Reading still hold the edge but have a series of very difficult away games to contend with, the first at Wolverhampton in a couple of weeks time and, the most notable, on February 14th when they travel to Sheffield United. Whatever they do though you can’t help but be impressed with what Steve Coppell has done. He really is an outstanding manager…doing it with 3 ex Arsenal trainees too. Well I had to get that in didn’t I 8-).
Finally Paddy Power sent me a diary yesterday. The same Paddy Power that has limited all my online bets to 40 Euros on EVERYTHING and a pony on any dog bet on the…err…’dog’ 8-). How’s about this Paddy. Stop sending me diaries, and your stupid fucking quarterly magazine and allow me to have a decent bet at Wimbledon! Or are you Hills in disguise?
